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Harvey Updyke looking hopeless in latest mug shot (Picture)

On Monday we shared the story of alleged tree poisoner Harvey Updyke getting arrested on terrorizing charges after threatening the staff at a Lowe’s home improvement store when he was unable to get a full refund on his lawn mower. Now we get to share with you the best part: Updyke’s new mug shot.

There he is, our devout Alabama fan, looking all hopeless and depressed. Hair looking disheveled, mustache all long and unkempt, a general “this is what my life has come to” look across his face. That, my friends, is the look of a man who know he’s about to spend the next several years of his life in prison.

Updyke later took a plea deal for poisoning Toomer’s Oaks on the Auburn campus. He will spend six months in jail.
Photo via WSFA

Pacman Jones Wears Neck Brace in Mug Shot After Bar Arrest (Picture)

The last time Bengals cornerback Pacman Jones got into trouble, he was mistakenly arrested because of a confusion over identities. It does not appear as if he’ll be as fortunate to avoid trouble this time.

WLWT in Cincinnati (via Pro Football Talk) reports that Pacman Jones was arrested early Sunday morning for causing a disturbance at a local bar. From their report:

According to reports, Jones got into an argument at the bar and when he was asked to leave, witnesses said he was uncooperative.

When police were called, Jones reportedly still refused to leave the bar.

As officers tried to arrest Jones, police said he tried to get out of his handcuffs. The report said two officers were needed to restrain him.

Pacman was one of the most notorious trouble makers in the NFL and missed the entire ’09 season because of it. He ended up signing to play in the CFL and then signed with the Cincinnati Bengals in May last year. He had avoided trouble since then, but it looks like he couldn’t go too long without having another incident. And if you have forgotten his history, this is a good starting point to catch you up. By the way, sweet neck brace, Adam.

Photo Credit: FOX19

Brett Rogers Has Awesome Mug Shot After Assault Arrest

We’ve featured some classic mug shots at LBS over the years. Former MLB player Derek Bell had a legendary one several years ago. Former Calgary Flames forward Brett Sutter looked like a pedophile in his. And running back Laurence Maroney went Busta Rhymes with his hair in his. But does anything top Brett Rogers and his mohawk from his mug shot? I think not.

Laughing over Rogers’ mug shot does not mean we find his alleged actions to be funny. Quite the opposite, in fact. As we learned from Bloody Elbow, Rogers was jailed and charged with “assault in the third degree, domestic assault by strangulation and pattern of stalking conduct — all felonies –in Dakota County. He was also charged with endangerment of a child, a gross misdameanor.”

Here are the details of what allegedly transpired. “His wife blacked out from being choked, suffered a golf ball sized wound on her face among smaller wounds. The couples daughter had tried to intervene after she saw Rogers strike her mother.”

Rogers reportedly admitted to getting in a fight with his wife after drinking, and he says he was returning force. Bro, even if you were returning force, YOU’RE A PROFESSIONAL MMA FIGHTER. You don’t fight anyone unless paid to in the ring or unless you’re defending someone’s life. Somehow I doubt punching your wife and choking her was necessary. See Brett, this is the sort of thing you should have done to Josh Barnett, not your wife.

Thanks to My Fox Twin Cities for the pictures

Giovanni Ramirez Mug Shot Picture – Suspect in Bryan Stow Assault

On Sunday, Giovanni Ramirez was arrested and booked on suspicion of assaulting Bryan Stow at Dodger Stadium on Opening Day. He was booked for assault with a deadly weapon and is being held on $1 million bail. His mug shot was not released at the time of his booking, but we present it to you courtesy of our friend A Mack and KFI which has since taken down the photo.

I have to say that his actual mug shot looks incredibly similar to the police artist sketch. And just like the LA Times reported, he has an incredible amount of tattoos on his neck which were added to try and cover up previous tattoos that may have been able to use to identify him. Luckily it didn’t work.

I Challenge You to Find a Better Mug Shot Than Laurence Maroney’s (Picture)

Laurence Maroney mug shot pig tails

We here at LBS found Brett Sutter’s mug shot from when he punched a cabbie to be hilarious.  This dwarfs it.

Laurence Maroney was arrested in St. Louis on Monday night for possession of marijuana and carrying a concealed weapon while under the influence (he has a permit to carry otherwise).  The Infinity he was riding in contained Maroney and five other friends who were smoking a whole bunch of weed and carrying three guns.  His mug shot could be the greatest we’ve ever witnessed.

What are you thinking, Laurence?  Forget the weed.  Forget the concealed weapon.  Did you lose some sort of dare that resulted in your having to sport the Pippi Longstocking look?  This could be the most embarrassing hairtsyle I’ve ever seen on a professional athlete.

Clearly, the Patriots knew what they were doing when they got rid of the first round draft bust.  Aside from being a terrible NFL running back, we now realize Maroney is one of the game’s biggest clowns. 

Thanks to Deadspin for the picture.

Brett Sutter Had Classic Mug Shot After Punching Cabbie in the Face

Forget retro jerseys or composite sticks—punching cab drivers seems to be the hottest trend amongst the NHL’s young stars. Last summer, we heard about Chicago Blackhawks phenom/Twi-hard Patrick Kane’s infamous freak out when a Buffalo cab driver failed to produce a whopping 20 cents in change.

Now it seems that Calgary Flames forward Brett Sutter—son of Darryl Sutter, the team’s general manager—opened up a can of dorky Canadian whoop ass on an unlucky cabbie outside a bar in Scottsdale, Arizona, punching him in the face.

Less than pleased with the prodigal son’s behavior, the Flames (who have the creepiest fans on earth) busted him down to their minor league affiliate, the Abbotsford Heat. But the 23-year-old sniper didn’t languish long in AHL purgatory; on Wednesday, the team did away with him altogether, trading him to the Carolina Hurricanes.

I don’t know which is more offensive–slugging some poor immigrant driving your taxi…or doing it with that creepy “To Catch A Predator” mustache. Chilling.

Floyd Mayweather Jr. Always Stays Fly

It looks like police officers out in Las Vegas finally tracked down Floyd Mayweather Jr.  It also looks like he couldn’t care less that he’s been arrested.  The mother of Floyd’s children, Josie Harris, claimed Mayweather attacked her on Thursday.  After looking at the Floyd Mayweather Jr. mugshot, I’d say Pretty Boy is more concerned about looking fresh than he is about his police record.

Fresh shirt, fresh smile, fresh iPod, and an endless pit of money to spend on legal counsel.  Man, this guy’s a dink.

Photo Credit: TMZ