Nigerian prostitutes offer week of free sex if Nigeria wins Africa Cup of Nations

Nigeria-soccerNigeria pulled off an unexpected upset on Sunday when it beat Ivory Coast to advance to the semifinals of the Africa Cup of Nations. If the Super Eagles can find a way to win two more games, they will bring home the Africa Cup of Nations trophy for the third time in their nation’s history. They may also be treating the people of their country to lots of free action.

According to YNaija.com, the Association of Nigerian Prostitutes (we’re shocked that exists, too) was so excited over Nigeria’s win against Ivory Coast that they promised a week of free sex if the Nigerians go on to win the entire tournament.

“We want to congratulate the Nigerian national team, the Super Eagles, for qualifying for the next round of the competition,” a statement from ANP secretary Jessica Elvis said. “To show our support for the national team, we’ll be declaring one week [of] free sex if the Super Eagles can win the trophy.”

The odds may be stacked against Nigeria, but the African nation certainly has plenty to play for. Two years ago, Nigerian president Goodluck Jonathan banned the team from international competition as a result of its poor performance in the 2010 World Cup qualifying rounds. Now, the Super Eagles will set out to prove they are worthy of competing internationally. And if they can pull that off, free sex for everyone.

H/T Dirty Tackle

Nigeria’s Ban on National Team is Absurd

The 2010 FIFA World Cup has been interesting to say the least. From the refs screwing over England to players hitting reporters it seems like there’s been no end to the madness … and the tournament’s not even over yet! The latest piece of ridiculousness comes to us from Nigeria, where their president Goodluck Jonathan has banned the Nigerian national team from competing in international games for the next two years due to their poor play in the WC.

Does anyone else see this as a little bit dramatic? No one likes to see their team lose — it’s heartbreaking and infuriating all at the same time. But is Nigeria’s president really proving anything by not allowing the team to compete internationally? Yes, he’s proving that he’s an idiot. The team didn’t break any rules why playing in the World Cup — they just sucked. There’s no law against sucking.

Did he really expect the national team to just go in there and dominate? Even if they made it past the three games they played they would have run into a team like Germany or Spain and I’m sorry, but they don’t have a chance in that match-up.

The thing that really irks me about all this is that by “punishing” the team for their bad performance, they are potentially violating the government interference rule. And because of that, FIFA could suspend not only the men’s national team but the Under-20 Women’s team which is supposed to compete on the 13th of July in Germany. They haven’t even had their chance to play yet and because their president is being stupid they might lose their spot. That’s just not right.

Governments should have a very small role in sports. They can be fans, host parades, and give teams money for new stadiums (which I’m not quite sure I 100% agree with that all the time either), but do not sit there and suspend a team. If that were the case, teams like the Detroit Lions would have been booted a long time ago.

Nigerian President Bans National Soccer Team From International Competition

While the glory of the 2010 World Cup competition resumes on Friday for the remaining eight nations, the fallout of defeat is emerging from those who made the early trip home. Namely, Nigeria. Nigerian President Goodluck Jonathan has suspended the Nigerian national soccer team from international play for two years as a result of their poor performance in South Africa, as well as other recent failures. Nigeria finished at the bottom of group B, drawing with South Korea and losing to Argentina and Greece. Here is what Nigerian Sports Minister Ibrahim Isa had to say:

“The government has taken a decision we believe is in the interests of Nigeria that we should for now, withdraw from international competition because our football since 1996 seems not to be growing … The president Goodluck Jonathan has endorsed this decision and the Nigerian people are excited about it.

The Nigerian people are excited about having their national team suspended from competition? OK … And one slight potential problem: FIFA regulations prohibit national governments from interfering in the affairs of national football federations. FIFA officials have yet to act but Nigerian lawmakers have already attempted to intervene, passing a resolution calling on President Jonathan to rescind the ban. FIFA is currently reviewing the situation before it takes any action. Nigerian national team member Dickson Etuhu had this to add:

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