Ozzie Guillen would have told Bobby Valentine to go **** himself

Ozzie Guillen was right when he said he was one of the best things to happen to Chicago. I know, I know, he’s no longer with Chicago, but his presence is still a great thing for baseball.

Ozzie was ejected in the sixth inning of the Marlins-Red Sox spring training game Monday for arguing a call. He had to walk across the field to exit through the Boston dugout. Opposing manager Bobby Valentine apparently waved him goodbye. Ozzie didn’t see the smug sendoff, but he knows what he would have said had he seen it.

“I didn’t see it,” Guillen said. “I would have told him to go and (expletive) himself, too. That’s the way Ozzie Guillen is.”

God bless Ozzie Guillen. Guillen apparently believed a ball hit to first that was called foul was actually fair, and he believed the umpire who made the call wasn’t in position to do so. Valentine seemed amused by that fact, hence the wave. Guess Bobby V. isn’t as innocent as the folksy character he made himself out to be on “Baseball Tonight.”

Ozzie Guillen to Marlins: Do not miss the National Anthem before each game

As the new sheriff in town and a guy who is known for not taking any crap, Ozzie Guillen likely has several rules in place for the upcoming season in Miami. However, he already knows which rule is at the top of that list. All of the members of the 2012 Miami Marlins had better be on the top step of the dugout when the National Anthem is performed.

“The National Anthem is 10 minutes before the game starts,” Guillen said according to the Sun Sentinel. “We’re going to start in 10 minutes and you’re late? National Anthem, they’re going to be there…That’s the only (rule) I have. You’re not going to go by that easy one? We’re going to have problems.

“A lot of people have been killed trying to make this country free for us. You should be there for at least two minutes. Respect that, especially if you come from another country. You should be there an hour before. I think it looks good for baseball if you’re in the stands and you look at the team respecting the flag and the National Anthem…Kids can see that, the respect.”

Guillen also pointed out that being on the can is not an excuse for missing the Anthem, either. In other words, you had better anticipate when nature will be calling or there will be consequences. What have we learned over the course of the past week? Ozzie really loves Bed Bath and Beyond and America. I dare you to say you don’t.

Ozzie Guillen loves Bed Bath and Beyond, says it’s a ‘relaxed place’ for him

Those of you who follow Ozzie Guillen on Twitter may have thought his account was hacked on Thursday night. Athletes and celebrities having their Twitter pages hacked has become common practice. Even worse, many of them will simply claim their page was hacked if they write something they regret or that receives too much negative attention.

None of that applied to Guillen on Thursday night, however. His tweet about Bed Bath and Beyond was totally legit.

“I like to cook. I like to be in my house,” Ozzie told reporters Friday according to the Palm Beach Post. “I like to be around my family… That’s the reason I love to go there.

“That’s a relaxed place for me. I’d rather be there than drinking. I buy a lot of stuff. I want to feel like I’m in my own house. That’s why I spend a lot of money there. It’s my favorite store.”

To each his own, right? If any manager in MLB history is going to admit they love Bed Bath and Beyond, it’s Ozzie. He also said he only buys wooden hangers and won’t hang his clothes on plastic ones. When someone commented that wooden hangers are expense, his response was, “So are my clothes.” Add this to the list of reasons we love Ozzie.

Ozzie Guillen on Carlos Zambrano: That tiger is not going to leave the cage

Ozzie Guillen does not seem overly concerned about being able to handle Carlos Zambrano. Big Z has a dynamic personality, but so does Ozzie. The pairing could either be a match made in heaven, or a recipe for disaster. Guillen is confident it will be the former. The Marlins manager explained the situation using animals and their keepers as a comparison on Tuesday.

“Maybe it’s not his fault,’’ Guillen said when asked about Zambrano’s past issues according to the Chicago Sun-Times. “Maybe it’s somebody’s fault. Maybe they let that tiger leave the cage and couldn’t bring him back. That tiger is not going to leave the cage. I guarantee you he is not leaving the cage. I guarantee you that. As soon as he tries to open the cage, I’ll be waiting for his ass.’’

If the Tiger and the zookeeper comparison doesn’t do it for you, how about the bull and the matador?

“Do I want him to get (ticked off)? Of course, I do,” Guillen added. “But take it easy, tiger. Like I say, in Venezuela, there’s the bull and the goddamned matador. He will be dead in two seconds because I know how to kill the bull at the right time.’’

Ozzie insists he does not foresee any issues, and made it clear that Zambrano was his friend off the field but is now his player as long as he’s wearing the Marlins uniform. He also said people have a pool in Venezuela revolving around when Big Z and Guillen will have their first fight. Zambrano has been known to abandon his team at horrible times, but for some reason I have a gut feeling Matt Garza may have a point about Zambrano pitching for the Marlins. It just might be a crazy enough idea to make sense.

Ozzie Guillen says he was drunk when he interviewed for the White Sox job

There are those who love Ozzie Guillen and those who loathe him. One thing we all should be able to agree on is his effectiveness as a manager. Ozzie may say some ridiculous things at times, but overall his teams want to win for him. White Sox G.M. Kenny Williams must have known that all the way back when Guillen was a bench coach for the Marlins. Otherwise, he may not have given the Chicago managing job to Ozzie after he showed up to his interview drunk.

“To be honest with you, the day I was doing the interview with Kenny (Williams) I was drunk, hungover,” Guillen said during an interview with ESPN Chicago’s Waddle and Silvy. “We just won the World Series. I came to Chicago from Miami. I was at a party all night long at Ivan Rodriguez’s house. I come out, wake up when we land at O’Hare. I want to drink a beer when we talk about baseball. I’m a little hungover and we talk about baseball.

“I don’t know what I say. I remember what I said, I said, ‘Listen, you want to hire me because I’m a minority. Don’t do it. I’m happy where I am.’ … It’s just like if you have a nice car and you want to buy another one. You don’t need it; you just want it.”

Williams hired the nut anyway, and it paid off almost immediately as the White Sox won a World Series the second season Ozzie was in charge. He now faces the tall task of bringing the Marlins back to the level they were at when he left, but if anyone is up for the challenge it’s Guillen. He’ll have to deal with a potentially disgruntled Hanley Ramirez and try to get something out of Carlos Zambrano, but if Ozzie can score a job while he’s drunk he must be worthy of managing in South Beach.

Ozzie Guillen Denies Quitting on White Sox, Promises to Kill Feelings with the Truth

You didn’t really think new Marlins manager Ozzie Guillen was going to remain quiet while a former player trashed him, did you? Of course not.

Guillen fired off several tweets Friday in response to White Sox pitcher Jake Peavy who accused him of quitting on the team last year (Ozzie walked away with two games left in the season). Peavy was upset that Ozzie said the pitcher quit on the team, so he turned the tables. Now Ozzie has responded.

Here are all the tweets he sent on Friday:

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Jake Peavy Says Ozzie Guillen Quit on the White Sox

Over his nine-year career, Jake Peavy has been a dominant MLB starter when healthy. The problem is he is rarely ever healthy. Since Peavy was acquired by the White Sox, that always seemed to irritate former manager Ozzie Guillen. It’s no secret that the two never got along, and it was known that Guillen believed Peavy gave up on the team. During a recent interview with WSCR-AM 670, Peavy gave his side of the story. According to the right-hander, it was Guillen who called it quits.

“I know he had a hard time, saying I quit on him, which couldn’t be further from the truth,” Peavy explained. “I would never quit on a team. … Ozzie didn’t finish the season with us the last (two) games. So I don’t know who quit on who.”

As you may remember, the White Sox had to make a decision on whether or not to shut Peavy down at the end of the season last year.  Guillen wanted no part in the decision, which could be because he was sick of hearing about Peavy’s injuries or because he already knew he was headed to Miami.  In all likelihood, it was a combination of both.

“At the end of the day, Ozzie didn’t really know what goes on, (about the decision)” Peavy said according to the Chicago Tribune.

To say that Ozzie is outspoken would be a legendary understatement, so it comes as no surprise that he and his oft-injured starter never got along.  That being said, the way he left Chicago was not exactly well-received by many.  In a sense, Peavy is right about who walked out on the team.