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Chad Ochocinco Is a Kama Sutra Master

Dodgers All-Star catcher Russell Martin may have blamed Kama Sutra for an injury but Bengals receiver Chad Ochocinco is citing it as evidence of his health. The Bengals wacky receiver hurt his knee in warm-ups at Giants Stadium on Sunday night, slipping on the frozen turf. He hardly played in the game against the Jets so that left his status for Saturday’s playoff game (also against the Jets) in doubt. That was until Ocho cleared things up:

“I had sex yesterday,” the Bengals receiver said. “With some of the moves I did — I should be fine.”

Ochocinco returned to more conventional rehab yesterday, getting treatment and practicing fully.

I’m sure Ocho’s kids will appreciate reading that. You know that filter which most people have that prevents them from saying stupid and embarrassing things? It’s quote obvious that Chad lacks that filter. But we love him for it. By the way Chad, we’re all still waiting on those Chad Ochocinco condoms for your Johnson to be released in stores. Where are they?

Table Tennis player Matthew Syed discusses the sex in Olympic Village

So we’ve heard all the stories about the thousands of condoms available at the Olympic Village to promote safe sex. The figure breaks down to about 10 condoms per Olympian. They must be getting crazy busy to fill up all those balloons. And it’s no surprise considering all the noise the Redeem Team’s been making with the ladies, not to mention the recent Michael Phelps and Stephanie Rice tandem that was reported. Anyway, just in case you were wondering if those 100,000 jimmy hats were a lofty figure, Matthew Syed is here to set you straight:

I am often asked if the Olympic village – the vast restaurant and housing conglomeration that hosts the world’s top athletes for the duration of the Games – is the sex-fest it is cracked up to be. My answer is always the same: too right it is. I played my first Games in Barcelona in 1992 and got laid more often in those two and a half weeks than in the rest of my life up to that point. That is to say twice, which may not sound a lot, but for a 21-year-old undergraduate with crooked teeth, it was a minor miracle.

Barcelona was, for many of us Olympic virgins, as much about sex as it was about sport.

Honestly, is anyone surprised by this? The Olympic Village is like a summer sleep-away camp but worse — you’re sticking a bunch of sexually deprived world-class athletes all in closed quarters, with nothing but raging, competitive hormones pumping through their veins. I would say I can’t imagine what it’s like, but I have a pretty good idea. Perhaps the London Games knew what they were doing when they created this logo for the 2012 Games. And if anyone is shagging one of these fine ladies, I’m totally jealous.