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Ernie Johnson does awesome Shaq impression (Video)

There are plenty of things we already knew about Ernie Johnson. Like, for example, that the guy is one of the smoothest broadcasters in all of sports. What you may not have known about Ernie is that he does an absolutely incredible Shaquille O’Neal impression.

During a recent event where he was promoting the NBA2K15 video game, which will feature the “Inside the NBA” studio, Johnson broke out a brief but amazing impression of his colleague.

“I’m the most dominant big man in the history of the NBA,” Johnson muttered in a perfect Shaq voice. “Nobody can guard me…”

[Related: Shaq stuffs sock in his shorts, rubs it on Charles Barkley]

The best part about the impersonation is that Ernie did it in passing like it was no big deal, despite the fact that it could have rivaled the work of any standup comedian. Never change, Ernie.

Ernie Johnson handshake

Shaq didn’t know who Mariano Rivera was (Video)

Mariano RiveraShaquille O’Neal must not watch much — if any — baseball. Any casual baseball fan can tell you who Mariano Rivera is. The former New York Yankees closer is considered by many to be the best relief pitcher of all time. During Tuesday night’s edition of “Inside the NBA,” Ernie Johnson explained how Shaq has no idea who Rivera is.

Back when Rivera blew out his knee shagging fly balls, the “Inside the NBA” crew sent him a get well letter. Shaq signed the letter, but he still barely recognized Rivera when he bumped into him in New York on Tuesday morning.

“So he bumps into Rivera in New York this morning and Rivera says, ‘Hey, say hi to the guys back in Atlanta,'” Johnson explained. “And Shaq (tells us), ‘I ran into that great closer, Rafael Nugero, today.'”

Shaq and the rest of the crew found this hilarious.

“I remembered the face I just couldn’t think of the name,” Shaq said. “Sorry.”

As LB mentioned before, Tuesday was an absolute banner day for the big fella. Shaq managed to hilariously confuse a pierogi for a kielbasa, stuff a sock in his shorts and rub it on Charles Barkley, and admit he doesn’t know who the greatest closer of all time is all in a single day. Nicely done.

Shaq stuffs sock in his shorts, rubs it on Chuck’s head (Video)

Tuesday was a banner day for Shaq. And by banner day, we mean the guy just killed it with about a million viral moments.

Not only did he hilariously confuse a pierogi for a kielbasa when discussing Polish center Marcin Gortat, and not only did he not recognize Mariano Rivera, but what took the cake was when he stuffed a sock in his shorts for a modeling skit.

Ernie Johnson was pimping some “Inside the NBA” shirts being sold on Homage — and they are pretty awesome shirts — so the TNT crew decided to model them. A few crew members walked down the catwalk with the shirts, and then it was Shaq’s turn to show us stuff.

Shaq sock shorts

Shaq threw on a “Craig Skywalker Sager” T-shirt, added some short-shorts and proceeded to shake his rump all up and down the stage. It was beautiful. But the money shot came when Kenny Smith noticed Shaq’s package looked a little larger than usual and asked if he had a sock in his shorts. Not feeling ashamed, Shaq reached down and pulled out his faux-trouser snake and then he walked over to Charles Barkley and rubbed it all over Chuck’s bald dome.

All that was missing was Shaq belting out “ain’t no woman like the one I got.”

Shaq doesn’t know a pierogi from a kielbasa (Video)

Shaq TNTShaq wanted to praise Marcin Gortat for having such a strong first half in Game 5 of the Washington Wizards’ Eastern Conference semifinal series against the Indiana Pacers on Tuesday, so he tried to come up with something that would touch on the center’s Polish roots.

Instead of using his typical “BBQ chicken alert” to describe a center roasting another player, he mentioned a Polish food and called it “BBQ pierogi alert.” Unfortunately, Shaq didn’t quite realize that a pierogi is a dumpling and not a meat that you barbecue.

The guy had a pierogi confused with a kielbasa, we would come to find out.

“BBQ hashtag pierogi alert. That’s sausage for all you dummies like Chuck,” said Shaq, with authority.

“Pierogi’s not a sausage, fool. You asked me about a kielbasa!” responded Chuck.

Shaq was slightly embarrassed and said “strike that from the tapes!”

Almost as good as Shaq brushing off the funny mistake was Chuck being the one to tell him about Polish foods. Though, when it comes to food knowledge, you figure Barkley would be well informed.

And for those of you not as in-tune as Chuck, below is a photo of both. The pierogis are the dumplings on the left, while the kielbasa is the sausage on the right:

pierogi kielbasa

Why does Shaq say ‘barbecue chicken alert’?

Shaq TNTIf you watch “Inside the NBA” on TNT, you’ve definitely noticed by now that one of Shaq’s favorite catchphrases is “barbecue chicken alert!”

Almost as funny as the way he delivers the phrase are the actual words themselves. Barbecue. Chicken. Alert. Seriously, who the heck says “barbecue chicken alert” outside of a restaurant setting? Only Shaq, I tell you.

So what does the phrase actually mean?

You’ve probably noticed that Shaq tends to say “barbecue chicken alert” in the context of talking about centers dominating down low. Back when he was still playing, Shaq actually gave a hint about what barbecue chicken means.

Following a 2009 game where he went for 45 points while playing with the Suns against the Raptors, Shaq had this to say:

“I think I’m the only player,” Shaquille O’Neal said, “who looks at each and every center in the league and says, ‘That’s barbecue chicken down there.”

Based on that comment, plus the context in which Shaq has said the phrase every time since, we can pretty much figure out what “barbecue chicken alert” means. That’s essentially Shaq’s way of saying that’s meat down there, an easy meal, something you can cook, roast and eat up all game.

It’s a goofy saying, but it’s so Shaq. And the way he says it, with his deep voice and intonations, and the way he repeats it, makes it funny and memorable. It’s almost as good as the way he says, “Birdman Birdman!”

And here’s Shaq saying “barbecue chicken alert”:

Shaq talks about when Charles Barkley kissed a Dick in the mouth (Video)

Shaq worded something in an intentionally awkward way during “Inside the NBA” on TNT Thursday night when the crew was talking about priming officials.

Charles BarkleyThe subject came up because Kendrick Perkins asked to talk with a referee prior to Game 3 between the Thunder and Grizzlies about the way he and Zach Randolph were playing each other. Once the clip was finished, Charles Barkley talked about his relationship with referees. Shaq then interjected by saying Chuck used to kiss up to the refs. And then he blurted out the line that will make anyone with an 8-year-old’s sense of humor laugh:

“You kissed Dick in the mouth,” said Shaq.

Chuck responded by saying that “didn’t sound good.”

But everyone knows Shaq definitely termed it that way on purpose.

And if you’ve never seen the Chuck-Dick Bavetta race and kiss, watch it here. And follow that link. It will take you back to old school LBS and a post I wrote in the second month of the site’s existence back in 2007.

Video via @_MarcusD_

Shaq goes Animal House, breaks Brent Barry’s guitar (Video)

Shaq Brent Barry guitarShaq took a page out of the “Animal House” book for a funny skit during “Inside the NBA” Tuesday on TNT.

At a break during the Knicks-Nets game, TNT showed a funny clip of Brent Barry serenading some women with his guitar. Up stepped Shaq, who tore the guitar out of Barry’s hands, began singing “Jessie’s Girl,” and then smashed the guitar against a post like Brother Bluto. It was awesome.

Shaq of course continued on his pattern of insisting that Barry play the classics!

The only scene involving “Jessie’s Girl” that we’ve seen that was better is this one from “Boogie Nights”:

Ricky Springfield! He’s a buddy of mine!