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Worst Throwback Jerseys Ever

Uniforms are one of the more interesting aspects of sports. It doesn’t matter what sport it is, we always like to see what teams are wearing. You may have noticed a trend recently where teams began wearing throwback jerseys as a nod to the outfits the franchise wore at some point during their history. Some of these uniforms are pretty sweet, but others are about the worst ever.

Who could forget a few years ago when we saw the absolutely awful uniforms that the Broncos wore for their throwback game? It’s still burned into my memory how ugly those were. Usually I don’t have a problem with teams wearing these because most of them are pretty cool. In fact, the Chicago Blackhawks have added a throwback jersey that they wore during 2009’s Winter Classic to their rotation now. But seeing some of these uniforms reminds me that some of these jerseys are more throwup jerseys than throwbacks.

So, I kindly ask that the following teams officially say adios to their throwback jersey so we no longer have to avert our eyes every time we see them.

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Arizona State New Uniforms Raise Satan’s Disciples Gang Concerns

Arizona State is one of the handful of college football teams to update their uniforms with a newer, sleeker look this offseason. They’ve gone to black uniforms and like I said when I first saw them, they’re pretty hot. But not unlike many sports teams’ jerseys and logos, these ones are raising concerns because of their similarity to the logo for Chicago Hispanic gang “Satan’s Disciples.”

A Chicago-area cop who works with gangs says he’s convinced it’s a matter of time before the Satan’s Disciples adopt the new ASU gear. He says the similarity between the gang’s logo and the new ASU pitchfork is uncanny, as you can see in the picture above.

Look, gangs using sports gear to represent is nothing new so this shouldn’t surprise us. Honestly, do you have any other explanation for why I see so many Pittsburgh Pirates hats in LA? There aren’t that many Pirates fans in Pittsburgh. It’s a gang thing, and this is nothing new.

SB Nation Arizona has great coverage of the uniforms in case you’re curious for more info and thanks to EDSBS for the original link.

Oregon Will Wear Hideous Camouflage Military Uniforms for Spring Practice

When it comes to ugly uniforms, the University of Oregon pretty much has copyright on the subject. Please tell me you remember these ugly shrouds they unveiled in 2008. Well it looks like Oregon has outdone themselves. Check out the uniform they plan to wear for the football team’s spring game later in the month:

Those look like soccer style uniforms with more patches than a NASCAR driver’s fire suit on Sunday. Those things are fugly. I wouldn’t give them away to the Goodwill they’re so bad. Homeless people on the streets would turn em down. Yeesh. Please tell me they’re not planning to actually wear those.

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Thanks to Oregon enthusiast Dan Rubenstein of Solid Verbal for the picture

Sports Uniforms Getting Uglier and Uglier

If only Mr. Blackwell were still alive… He probably would have had a heart attack and died, especially after seeing sports’ current version of the fashion statement. Uniforms. Watching last week’s Oregon-Auburn game, one might have gotten the impression that a box of Crayolas had exploded. Burnt orange and navy blue. Silver and some shade of green you’d be hard-pressed to find at a consignment shop. The amazing thing about Oregon’s duds (with the emphasis on DUD) is that the team wore a different jersey combination for each of their thirteen games this season and, like the sequels to Godfather, each was worse than the one before it. Team gear has become big business these days, as evidenced by the Ducks’ tribute to Diana Ross, with the size of the wardrobe selection they’ve been sporting. Perhaps the school took a page out of George Costanza’s book of dressing based on mood.

The funny thing about uniforms is that “uni” actually means one, according to my Latin language training. (I read Wikipedia). Maybe the word needs updating. Oregon rolled out a baker’s dozen, and seemingly every professional team has not only a home and away jersey, but also a third jersey designed to pry the money out of fervent fans who want to look like the human balance beam, Timofey Mozgov (namely a guy wearing a basketball jersey). There is also a relatively new phenomenon known as the throw-back which, in some cases, is code for throw-away. Anyone who has seen the Denver Broncos wearing their inaugural AFL uniforms can attest that these beauties were probably more enjoyable, say, in the era of black-and-white television screens.

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Oregon State Sporting Turquoise Uniforms for Native American Heritage Month

Oregon State is known for its black and orange colors. If you plan on watching the Beavers play basketball and don’t recognize them, you won’t be alone. Oregon State will be wearing turquoise uniforms against Texas Southern to raise awareness for Native American Heritage Month.

Why turquoise? It’s a color of friendship in Native American culture. Why is Oregon State doing it? Sophomore Joe Burton is a part of the Soboba Tribe and believed to be the first Native American to earn a scholarship in the Pac-10. Oregon State is teaming up with Nike’s N7 division on the project, which helped design those baby blue badboys. So what do you think?

Miami Wearing Ugly Nike Pro Combat Jerseys Against Virginia Tech

Watching Miami play Virginia Tech on Saturday, it wasn’t their hot start or decision to go with Stephen Morris at quarterback that stood out. Oh no, it was their hideous garb that was most noticeable. As planned since the beginning of the season, Miami wore its Nike Pro Combat uniforms for their game against Virginia Tech in their version of dress like FAMU day. I’m sure the jerseys have some sort of amazing functions (guaranteed to make you run faster and jump higher!), but at some point you’re just sacrificing too much in the way of aesthetics for whatever upside these unis are supposed to provide. Here are pics from the jersey unveiling back in September, courtesy of CaneSport.com:

Now we just have to figure out what’s worse: the Under Armour jerseys Utah wore, or these ones.

Utah Wearing Hideous Under Armour Camouflaged Jerseys for Wounded Warrior

You’ve probably seen the camouflaged jerseys worn during a college football game at some point over the past year, but it’s still startling anytime you see it. Turning on the TCU/Utah game on Saturday, the uniforms of the Utes stood out immediately. They were wearing camouflaged jerseys made by Under Armour as part of the Wounded Warrior Project. The Wounded Warrior Project is a “non-profit organization that provides various programs and services to wounded members of America’s armed services.” Here’s the army garb they were wearing:

Calling one of these games must be a pain for broadcasters. Instead of having last names on the back of the jerseys, the words “Duty, Honor, Commitment, Service, Courage, Integrity, and Country” have replaced them — all military-oriented terms. I like the charitable intention of the project, but perhaps they could come up with something either easier on the eyes, more coordinated with the school’s colors, or both.

Photo Credit: Daily Utah Chronicle