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Friday, June 22, 2018

Articles tagged: Wacky Stuff

Rick Majerus Loves Being Naked

I realize I just set you up as if I had a punchline coming. Sorry to disappoint. There will be no punchline. Instead, I will share a few anecdotes from an article on Rick Majerus in this week’s issue of Sports Illustrated. In the article it was mentioned several times that Majerus is quite the exhibitionist and that his behavior towards his players isn’t too far off from what you’d see out of Bobby Knight. From the article:

Another player remembers Majerus calling him up to his hotel room on various occasions, and “he’d answer the door in his towel and I’d come in and the towel would fall off and it was like nothing had happened. He’d just be standing there buck naked. One year he had this lower-back injury, and he would have the trainer massage it with the ultrasound. But instead of just lowering his pants a little bit, Majerus would pull his pants down to his ankles and sit in a chair and coach us. Sometimes he’d be like, ‘Guys, bring it in, take a knee.’ We’d come in, and we’re just like, No way this is happening.”

Majerus kept telling [former Utah player Michael] Doleac that he needed to keep six inches between himself and his opponent in the post. When Doleac was caught shortly after leaning on his man, the coach erupted. “‘Jesus ****in Christ, Doleac! When a guy catches the ball in the post, you gap him six inches!'” Doleac recalls Majerus yelling. “Then he turns to the guys sitting on the baseline and says, ‘Six f***** inches,’ and he says, ‘the size of the average white d***!’ and pulls it out.”

The imagery is just simply incredible, is it not? Who knew this about Majerus? I had no clue. And frankly, I’m not sure I ever wanted to know that information.

Bill Walker Has No Use for Urinals

Bill Walker Urinating

This story has made its rounds, but it’s too incredible for me to pass up. Deadspin points out that Kansas State player Bill Walker found himself in quite the predicament Thursday night in a game against Oregon. He was asked to check into the ballgame, but he really needed to urinate badly. With no time to hurry off to the restroom, he did just what any typical guy on the bench would do — he relieved himself into several towels while standing courtside.

I’m wondering how word of this incident was passed along. The dissemination of information these days is just incredible. With Leather even has the video proof, though I have to admit, it’s pretty weak sauce:


Dog Bites Auburn DB Jerraud Powers During Iron Bowl

The game may have been under the radar for the national scene, but it was as important as ever in Alabama — Nick Saban’s first taste of the Iron Bowl. Sadly for Saban, the Crimson Tide lost 17-10. On the other side of the ball, Auburn sophomore defensive back Jerraud Powers had a pick in the first half, helping his Tigers get the victory. In addition to gaining bragging rights from the win, Powers ended up with quite the battle scar:

After successfully defending a long pass during the fourth quarter, Powers was bitten on his left hand by a police dog stationed beyond the end zone. The sophomore celebrated by mimicking the referee’s signal for an incomplete pass, which the dog interpreted as an aggressive act.

“I saw blood coming out of my glove. I started panicking,” Powers said. ” I was looking toward the sidelines and I was screaming, ‘The dog bit me,’ the next three plays. When I went into the training room I was like: Do I need a rabies shot? Then I thought about it and it is a federal dog. I’m sure he’s the cleanest dog in America. I’ll be sure to wash it out real good.”

I guess the dog was a Bama fan. Sigh. I’m just waiting for Bevo to ram some horns up an opposing linebacker’s ass. Now then we’d be talking.

Jon Kitna Gets Creative on Halloween

Remember Joe Cullen? He’s the former Lions defensive line coach who got busted for going through a fast food drive through naked. (I empathize with his plight; I enter the kitchen naked when food is on my mind). Anyway, Jon Kitna must have been smoking the same stuff that caused him to pick Detroit to win at least 10 games this year. Check out how he and his wife dressed up for teammate Mike Furrey’s charity Halloween event:

SPORTSbyBROOKS has another must-see version of the pic that shows a little more skin (yeah, you know you can’t get enough of Kitna). Drew Sharp in the Detroit Free Press takes issue with Kitna’s costume choice. I have no problem with it; it’s a creative, hilarious mock-job of an absolutely boneheaded move by a person with a job of great prestige. I give Kitna a 10 for originality and creativity.

Trinity Plays Rugby, Not Football

I’m not sure if you caught this over the weekend, but it’s certainly one of those plays you will never forget. Check out the finish to the DIII match up between Trinity (TX) and Millsaps on Saturday:

I’m seriously still wondering how NOBODY made the tackle. Follow the ball — can’t be too hard. Nevertheless, quite exciting.

(video via Ballhype)

Hippo Found in Charger Coach’s Swimming Pool

This is just so off the wall, I’m not sure I can even believe it. I am truly, truly struggling with this story. How can a reputable reporter like Jay Glazer have taken the bait on a tale and featured it so prominently in his weekly column? Answer: maybe it’s true. Check out what happened with Chargers special teams coach, Steve Crosby:

Crosby received the oddest of calls this week while the team was practicing in Arizona. Crosby’s house is near the San Diego Wild Animal Park, a safari-type theme park in the San Diego area. Apparently, the fires ripped apart some openings in the park, allowing some of the animals to roam where they wanted.

Crosby received a call from his wife informing him that she walked outside to assess the damage and get this she found a hippopotamus in their swimming pool! A hippo! She called the authorities, who came and tranquilized the animal and removed it from their swimming pool.

I’ve always wondered whether or not those things could get loose, now I guess we know the answer. It’s like Ju-effing-manji in real life. Freaking insane. That is our world without boundaries, my friends. And for everyone who ever had nightmares that gators or sharks were in their pool, looks like you never know what can pop up.

UPDATE: USA Today Sports Scope says the story is bogus.

Jason Caffey: Father of Eight Children to Seven Women

Whenever you have one of those discussions with a friend regarding player salaries, it’s always wise to walk in armed with some examples. For instance, my bread-and-butter overpaid baseball contract is always the Rangers dishing $65 million for 22 wins from Chan Ho Park. Trumps every case. After that, I always come strong with my Jason Caffey signing by the Warriors for $35 million in ’99 (Caffey averaged 7 points and 4 boards a game during his career). Sure, it’s a bit outdated, but it always comes through in the clutch. Well, looks like Caffey might actually have another use for me. He now will happily reside in the Travis Henry/Shawn Kemp discussion.

As I have come to learn, Jason Caffey has fathered eight children from seven different women. That’s not quite up to Henry’s standards, who has nine over eight, but nonetheless, quite impressive. Caffey had to recently file for bankruptcy to get some of those credit collectors of his back because he can no longer afford to pay all the bills. Some of the women are quick to point out that Caffey was a good father and paid up when he was in the league, but getting bounced from the Association before his contract ended, he didn’t make all the cash on his deal. Even if that’s the case, I have no sympathy for the man. Bottom line: Don’t be a fool, wrap your tool.

And it looks like 100% Injury Rate might have to update that list.

(via Ballhype)

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