Keeping up the tradition of the weirdest injuries in sports, Angels pitcher Jered Weaver will miss his next scheduled start because of cuts on his fingers. Did he cut his hand on a fence, or some netting, or maybe on a small knife? Nope, nope, and nope. Jered Weaver hurt himself getting up from a dugout bench. Seriously.

Weaver sustained cuts on the tips of the middle and ring fingers of his pitching hand while pushing himself up off the Comerica Park dugout bench during Tuesday night’s game against the Tigers. The cuts were not deep enough to require stitches.

Yeah, but they were deep enough to keep Weav from making his scheduled start Friday night against the White Sox. Instead, he’ll make the start on Monday against the Yankees, and the Sox will have the pleasure of teeing off on Dustin Moseley. Way to go, Jered. At least it’s not as bad as hurting yourself on a pillow.

LBS reader and commenter Jeff emails in with the story of Dolphins quarterback Josh McCown (he’s with the Dolphins now???) who is doing his best to play his way out of the starting quarterback competition. With Chad Henne and Cleo Lemon as the other candidates, McCown actually has a legit shot. Or had, shall we say, since he just injured his hand. From the Palm Beach Post:

McCown said he suffered the injury while cutting wood with his brother, a back-up quarterback for the Tampa Bay Buccaneers. The McCown brothers had cleared trees in a lot near a lake back home Texas and decided to cut some of it up into firewood.

McCown was holding the wood when his brother grazed his finger with a chainsaw.

“It was kid of some miscommunication about where we were cutting,” McCown said.

Yeah, a miscommunication, you don’t say. This ranks right up there with some of our other classic weird injuries on the site. I’ll leave the final word to Jeff who sums things up perfectly: “What schmuck of a QB who makes millions with his hands would be out cutting wood. Isn’t that what he’s supposed to use the money for. Have someone else cut it for him.” Couldn’t have put it better myself.

I’m always a sucker for weird baseball injuries, so after seeing this up at SportsbyBrooks, there was no question I had to post it. Brandon Inge was placed on the DL with a strained oblique. How did it happen you ask? The Detroit Free Press answers the question:

Inge said he aggravated the injury moving a pillow for his three-year-old Monday night. He said if not for that mishap, he probably would have tried to continue to play with the injury, which he said has bothered him since he suffered it on June 1 in Seattle.

Told of Inge’s account of the pillow, Tigers manager Jim Leyland said, “That’s a first.”

Well, after hearing that Raul Ibanez hurt himself sleeping, Aaron Rowand by playing tag, and Brandon Marshall by slipping on a McDonald’s bag, I can’t say I’m that surprised by this one. Amazing. Not that I did any sports betting on it, but my money at the sportsbook would have been on the Tigers to win the World Series before the year started. Now I know why they’re struggling — everything that could possibly go wrong has gone wrong. And they’re only five games out of first, too!

We already knew that baseball players sustained some odd injuries. Aaron Rowand got hurt playing tag, Raul Ibanez injured himself while sleeping, and some chick even got attacked by a bird while touring Fenway Pahk. No surprise then to hear how Rays catcher Dioner Navarro landed on the 15-day DL.

Navarro was coming off the field after the second inning of the Rays’ game against the New York Yankees on Friday night when he missed a dugout step on his way to the bench. He reached for something to try to break his fall, and sliced open his hand on the netting designed to protect players from foul balls.

“I almost threw up when I saw it,” said Navarro, who got eight stitches on his ring finger and four on his middle one. “I was like, ‘Whoaaa.’ I didn’t know a piece of net could do this.”

That must be some seriously tight-wound strand to slice through his hand like that. And honestly, I thought nets only provided a hazard to deep-sea mammals. You read this stuff and then you think of Cal Ripken. Now tell me you’re not impressed.

This one could very well be so improbable that it might be true. Not even George Costanza on his best day could have come up with this excuse by Broncos receiver Brandon Marshall for needing stitches on his elbow. Honestly, Raul Ibanez hurting his neck sleeping and Aaron Rowand hurting his arm playing tag thinks this is a stretch. From Brandon Marshall, on how he injured his arm:

In the most bizarre off-season injury to date, Broncos wide receiver Brandon Marshall said he slipped on a McDonalds bag and wound up with his arm wrapped in a cast.

Marshall said he was at the Westgate Lakes Resort in Orlando, Fla. on Saturday and slipped and fell on a McDonald’s wrapper. When he slipped, he said he stuck out his hand to brace his fall and it went through a TV entertainment center.

Seriously, we’re supposed to believe that happened? Where did he come up with that one? Why not just come out and say you were hammered with buddies, one broke a beer bottle, and you cut your arm on it. Or that you cut it hopping a fence — you know, something believable. Or maybe, just maybe, it’s so wild and wacky that it has to be true. I doubt it, but it is a possibility. FanIQ’s gonna have to add this one to the list.

UPDATE: The bag KO’d Marshall for at-least three months.

Baseball injuries are great. Some of the best ever. You might have serious ones like Miguel Tejada getting hit by a pitch and breaking his wrist. Or you might have lame ones like Raul Ibanez injuring himself while sleeping. Or, you might even be lucky enough to come across one like this. From Matt Watson at FanHouse:

The Phillies also were without All-Star center fielder Aaron Rowand for tonight’s game against Pittsburgh. Rowand said he “tweaked” his left shoulder while playing tag with neighborhood kids, and was listed day to day.

I just can’t even find the words to properly respond to this news. Usually when we read about a lame injury, it’s an excuse because the player is hiding the truth. You know, like Jeff Kent breaking his wrist while riding a motorcycle, not washing his car as he said. I can’t even imagine what the real cause of the injury was. But I’ll be damned if this isn’t the most creative excuse ever by a player. Truly amazing.

Freaky Baseball Injuries:
Raul Ibanez Hurt Himself Sleeping
Miguel Tejada’s Broken Wrist Ends His Streak