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Chris Dickerson Injures Head Bumping into Revolving Door at Hotel

You know what a big fan of weird sports injuries I am, so when I heard about this one I knew it made the cut. Reds left fielder Chris Dickerson is part of a platoon along with Jerry Hairston Jr. but he hasn’t seen much action lately since the team has faced a bunch of lefties to start the year. He wasn’t scheduled to play on Saturday because left-hander Paul Maholm was starting for the Pirates, but he would have been unavailable anyway:

Dickerson’s attacker struck Saturday morning as he headed to Great American Ball Park. The lurking evil was a revolving glass door at the downtown hotel where he is staying. He apparently banged his head on the door as it swung around.

“My ‘real’ story is I hit my head on the rim during a celebrity slam dunk contest,” Dickerson joked. “They do need to do something about that door. It’s a deathtrap waiting to happen. I can only imagine what happens with people less coordinated than me. I’m a little clumsy, but a pretty coordinated guy. I should be able to fly through that thing easy. I struggle with it every day.”

At least he has a good humor about it. Dickerson’s only had six at-bats this year but he has two hits. I’m sure he’ll have plenty more chances to hit as the season goes on. Last year he mashed in just over 100 at-bats so bright days should lie ahead for him. And on a personal note, it’s comforting to know that one of the toughest outs you ever faced in high school turned out to be a pretty good major leaguer.

Video: Teemu Selanne Cuts Quad Muscle on Own Skate, Out 4-6 Weeks

Right up there with hurting yourself playing tag in the yard or while sleeping on a pillow, cutting yourself on your own skate has to be a pretty crappy way to get injured. When you’re skating around with razor-sharp skates and you’re getting pushed around, ish happens, as it did to Teemu Selanne. Check out how Selanne hurt himself to the point where he’s out 4-6 weeks:

Those bad boys must be sharp as all hell, considering Selanne’s comments, “I knew right away that I got cut. It was scary how much blood was coming out. It was all over. You couldn’t even stop it.” 4-6 weeks seems pretty extensive but I’m not going to doubt them. At least he didn’t cut a tendon because the Ducks are in a tight race in the Western Conference.

Jered Weaver Cuts Hand on Bench, Will Miss Start

Keeping up the tradition of the weirdest injuries in sports, Angels pitcher Jered Weaver will miss his next scheduled start because of cuts on his fingers. Did he cut his hand on a fence, or some netting, or maybe on a small knife? Nope, nope, and nope. Jered Weaver hurt himself getting up from a dugout bench. Seriously.

Weaver sustained cuts on the tips of the middle and ring fingers of his pitching hand while pushing himself up off the Comerica Park dugout bench during Tuesday night’s game against the Tigers. The cuts were not deep enough to require stitches.

Yeah, but they were deep enough to keep Weav from making his scheduled start Friday night against the White Sox. Instead, he’ll make the start on Monday against the Yankees, and the Sox will have the pleasure of teeing off on Dustin Moseley. Way to go, Jered. At least it’s not as bad as hurting yourself on a pillow.

Josh McCown Wood Chopping His Way Out of Starting QB Job

LBS reader and commenter Jeff emails in with the story of Dolphins quarterback Josh McCown (he’s with the Dolphins now???) who is doing his best to play his way out of the starting quarterback competition. With Chad Henne and Cleo Lemon as the other candidates, McCown actually has a legit shot. Or had, shall we say, since he just injured his hand. From the Palm Beach Post:

McCown said he suffered the injury while cutting wood with his brother, a back-up quarterback for the Tampa Bay Buccaneers. The McCown brothers had cleared trees in a lot near a lake back home Texas and decided to cut some of it up into firewood.

McCown was holding the wood when his brother grazed his finger with a chainsaw.

“It was kid of some miscommunication about where we were cutting,” McCown said.

Yeah, a miscommunication, you don’t say. This ranks right up there with some of our other classic weird injuries on the site. I’ll leave the final word to Jeff who sums things up perfectly: “What schmuck of a QB who makes millions with his hands would be out cutting wood. Isn’t that what he’s supposed to use the money for. Have someone else cut it for him.” Couldn’t have put it better myself.

Pillow Sends Brandon Inge to the DL

I’m always a sucker for weird baseball injuries, so after seeing this up at SportsbyBrooks, there was no question I had to post it. Brandon Inge was placed on the DL with a strained oblique. How did it happen you ask? The Detroit Free Press answers the question:

Inge said he aggravated the injury moving a pillow for his three-year-old Monday night. He said if not for that mishap, he probably would have tried to continue to play with the injury, which he said has bothered him since he suffered it on June 1 in Seattle.

Told of Inge’s account of the pillow, Tigers manager Jim Leyland said, “That’s a first.”

Well, after hearing that Raul Ibanez hurt himself sleeping, Aaron Rowand by playing tag, and Brandon Marshall by slipping on a McDonald’s bag, I can’t say I’m that surprised by this one. Amazing. Not that I did any sports betting on it, but my money at the sportsbook would have been on the Tigers to win the World Series before the year started. Now I know why they’re struggling — everything that could possibly go wrong has gone wrong. And they’re only five games out of first, too!

Dioner Navarro Injured by a Net. Seriously

We already knew that baseball players sustained some odd injuries. Aaron Rowand got hurt playing tag, Raul Ibanez injured himself while sleeping, and some chick even got attacked by a bird while touring Fenway Pahk. No surprise then to hear how Rays catcher Dioner Navarro landed on the 15-day DL.

Navarro was coming off the field after the second inning of the Rays’ game against the New York Yankees on Friday night when he missed a dugout step on his way to the bench. He reached for something to try to break his fall, and sliced open his hand on the netting designed to protect players from foul balls.

“I almost threw up when I saw it,” said Navarro, who got eight stitches on his ring finger and four on his middle one. “I was like, ‘Whoaaa.’ I didn’t know a piece of net could do this.”

That must be some seriously tight-wound strand to slice through his hand like that. And honestly, I thought nets only provided a hazard to deep-sea mammals. You read this stuff and then you think of Cal Ripken. Now tell me you’re not impressed.

Brandon Marshall Slips on McDonald’s Bag, Arm Goes Through TV

This one could very well be so improbable that it might be true. Not even George Costanza on his best day could have come up with this excuse by Broncos receiver Brandon Marshall for needing stitches on his elbow. Honestly, Raul Ibanez hurting his neck sleeping and Aaron Rowand hurting his arm playing tag thinks this is a stretch. From Brandon Marshall, on how he injured his arm:

In the most bizarre off-season injury to date, Broncos wide receiver Brandon Marshall said he slipped on a McDonalds bag and wound up with his arm wrapped in a cast.

Marshall said he was at the Westgate Lakes Resort in Orlando, Fla. on Saturday and slipped and fell on a McDonald’s wrapper. When he slipped, he said he stuck out his hand to brace his fall and it went through a TV entertainment center.

Seriously, we’re supposed to believe that happened? Where did he come up with that one? Why not just come out and say you were hammered with buddies, one broke a beer bottle, and you cut your arm on it. Or that you cut it hopping a fence — you know, something believable. Or maybe, just maybe, it’s so wild and wacky that it has to be true. I doubt it, but it is a possibility. FanIQ’s gonna have to add this one to the list.

UPDATE:
The bag KO’d Marshall for at-least three months.