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Hanley Ramirez suffers cut on his hand hitting an electric fan in frustration

The Marlins’ season has officially gotten so frustrating that players are injuring themselves. Hanley Ramirez is currently in a 2-for-22 slump, and he is not happy with himself. During the sixth inning of Sunday’s game against the Cardinals — one that ended with another blown save from Heath Bell — Hanley punched a cooling fan in the dugout after grounding out. He needed two stitches on his knuckle, but the team is optimistic he will be fine for the second half.

Hanley said he punched the fan because he “got mad” and is upset with his lack of production. As you can imagine, Ozzie Guillen was not happy with his third baseman’s reaction.

“Very stupid injury, very immature,” Guillen said after the game according to the Miami Herald. “You’re going to hurt yourself because you can’t hit? Good hitters don’t do that. Good hitters battle back and try to get better. Your injury doesn’t just hurt yourself, you hurt your ball club.

“I don’t pay attention to stupidities. That made me mad. Players get hurt for no reason — hitting stuff. That’s very childish. We’re not kids. We’re grown people. When you struggle and you’re a great player you have to try and be better. To be honest with you I didn’t even ask him, I was so disappointed. We built this ballclub around him. This is the man in this ballclub and I never criticized Hanley Ramirez for not having the season we thought he had, but I will for hurting himself.”

You certainly can’t blame Ozzie for being furious. After seeing the horrible injury Amar’e Stoudemire suffered by doing something similar, it’s a shame athletes don’t learn from situations like that and think before they act. Hand injuries that are the result of clumsiness and stem from cleaning out a blender or trying to cut strings off your glove are tough to avoid. Cutting your finger by punching something isn’t.

H/T Hardball Talk
Photo credit: Howard Smith-US PRESSWIRE

Stephen Garcia reportedly injured his fingers flashing the peace sign

Since Stephen Garcia could not manage to stay out of trouble at South Carolina and never lived up to his potential, his post-college career is set to begin in the CFL. He is the fourth quarterback on the roster, so it’s safe to say the Montreal Alouettes are not expecting huge things from the former Gamecock. In any event, Garcia started his tenure with the team by being placed on the one-game injured list last week after he hurt his fingers. But this was not just any finger injury.

According to the Montreal Gazette, Garcia injured his two fingers by flashing the peace sign when he got off the team bus. This may be some sort of brilliant joke that the Alouettes are playing on the public, but if so they are not letting on.

That’s literally all the report says aside from some stuff about how Garcia was suspended five times during his days at South Carolina. We already knew all that, so let’s focus on the real story here. How the hell does someone injure their fingers giving the peace sign? Was it the most agressive peace sign flashing known to mankind? Did someone who doesn’t like peace grab his fingers and twist them? Was he drunk? Okay, that’s a cheap shot, but we can’t really rule anything out when it comes to hurting your fingers by throwing your deuce up.

And we thought this ridiculous list of injuries was entertaining.

H/T Lost Lettermen
Photo credit: Jeff Blake-US PRESSWIRE

Ohio State RB Jordan Hall needs surgery after cutting foot walking through grass

College athletes need to learn to take better care of their feet. If Lieutenant Dan from “Forrest Gump” heard some of the injury stories we have shared with you over the past year or so, he’d probably have a panic attack. The latest NCAA foot injury victim is Ohio State senior running back Jordan Hall, who recently underwent surgery after suffering a bad cut while walking through grass on campus. Hall reportedly stepped on a piece of glass. University officials say he could miss about 10 weeks.

“This is an unfortunate accident to a really fine young man,” OSU head coach Urban Meyer said. “He’s handling things well, though. He’ll be in a non-weight bearing cast for about six weeks and then he’ll rehabilitate the injury for at least four weeks after that.”

If you remember, Colorado quarterback Nick Hirschman broke his foot over the winter simply by walking. Last November, a UCLA basketball player was sidelined after he cut his foot during a snorkeling excursion.

The Buckeyes are transitioning to a new offense under Meyer, and Hall was expected to see an expanded role after gaining 405 yards rushing on 99 attempts last season. If the recovery timeline is accurate, he will miss at least two regular season games.

Photo credit: Andrew Weber-US PRESSWIRE

Antonio Bastardo fought a squat machine, and the squat machine won

Phillies reliever Antonio Bastardo was unavailable to pitch on Friday night, and he has a bizarre reason why.

Bastardo apparently was ticked off after allowing three runs (two charged to starter Cole Hamels) in relief against the Twins on Wednesday. The reliever took out his frustration on a squat machine, and Philly.com’s Matt Gelb says the squat machine “returned the favor,” whatever that means.

Bastardo reportedly ended up with a cut over his left eye, and the eye was nearly swollen shut on Friday.

So that’s why he couldn’t pitch and why he may need a few more days to recover. The good news for Bastardo is that at least he’s now in the same category as Bryce Harper when it comes to self-inflicted injuries.

Jonathan Lucroy hurt by suitcase, needed X-rays, out 4-6 weeks

We’ve covered nearly a hundred weird injuries here at LBS, but some are so strange they still manage to shock us. What happened to Jonathan Lucroy certainly qualifies in that category.

According to MLB.com, the Brewers catcher hurt his right hand when a suitcase fell on it. Lucroy apparently was reaching for a lost sock under his hotel room bed Sunday night when his wife shifted a suitcase that fell on his hand.

Lucroy showed up to Dodger Stadium planning to play on Monday, but he couldn’t swing the bat like usual and was set to undergo X-rays.

“I didn’t want to say anything because I don’t like not playing,” he said on Monday, per Brewers Beat. “I want to play. But I went down and took some swings and it didn’t feel good, so I had to spill it.”

Poor guy. Sometimes you just have to let those hard-to-reach socks go.

UPDATE: The X-rays revealed a fracture on his right hand and he’s out 4-6 weeks. That must have been one heavy suitcase.

Photo credit: Benny Sieu-US PRESSWIRE

Bryce Harper bloodied himself smashing a bat, needed 10 stitches (Pictures)

Nats outfielder Bryce Harper was left bloodied and with a cut above his left eye after smashing a bat against a wall in frustration on Friday night.

Harper, who went 0-for-5 with three strikeouts in a win over the Reds, smashed his bat in frustration after making an out in the seventh. The bat apparently bounced off the wall in the tunnel and hit him in the face, leaving him with a nasty cut above his left eye.

Harper needed 10 stitches to close the cut. He was bandaged and continued to play in the game, though he was replaced by Xavier Nady in the 9th.

“It doesn’t hurt at all,” Harper said after the game. “I feel fine. I didn’t get light-headed at all or nothing. I feel good.”

Manger Davey Johnson said Harper could miss one or two games, but according to The Washington Post, Harper insisted he wanted to play.

“I think I’m good,” Harper said. “The doctor said I could play, so I’m going to play.”

Johnson defended his rookie saying that breaking a bat in frustration is nothing new for a ballplayer. At least it wasn’t a fire extinguisher.

Here’s another look at the bloody Harper, and an image of him batting with it bandaged:

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Amare Stoudemire cut his hand punching a fire extinguisher in locker room

Knicks forward Amare Stoudemire committed the ultimate brain fart by cutting his hand punching a fire extinguisher in the locker room following his team’s Game 2 loss to the Heat on Monday night.

Stoudemire left the arena with his left hand bandaged and his left arm in a sling. Marc J. Spears of Yahoo! Sports says he did not get an X-ray, and the number of stitches he required to treat the wound is not known.

Above is a look at the type of fire extinguisher inside America Airlines Arena that Amare punched, according to Brian Windhorst.

Below is the trail of blood Amare left on the locker room floor:

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