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Larry Brown Sports Tagline. Brown Bag it, Baby.
#pounditTuesday, January 31, 2023

Stories by Adam Smith:

Diamondbacks catching prospect absolutely jacks up runner attempting to score (Video)

There are three things in life that are guarenteed: Death, taxes and if you charge a man with the first name Stryker, you will get hurt.

This train crash in a rookie league game features 18-year-old Stryker Trahan at catcher. Trahan was selected by the D-Backs 26th overall last month and is listed at 6’1″, 215. The fella trying to give Stryker an ol’ fashioned Pete Rose is Mariners infielding prospect Joseph DeCarlo, who is 5’10”, 205. It’s safe to say the laws of physics held up in this collision as Stryker’s action resulted in DeCarlo’s equal and opposite reaction. But that’s what happens when you come in wayyyyy too high. Just ask Maurice Jones-Drew, it’s all about leverage.

H/T Big League Stew

Division II player Angelo Sharpless delivers the dunk of the millennium (Video)

Introducing Angelo Sharpless, a 6’4″ junior SF for Elizabeth City State University. Sharpless decided to casually dunk a basketball at the Ben Wallace Pro-Am Summer League game in Richmond, Va. And by casually dunk, we me go absolutely ape and deliver one of the greatest Phi-Slamma-Jamma’s we’ve seen outside of NBA Jam. This may be the only time you will ever hear the name Angelo Sharpless, but this highlight may live on for a long, long time.

Plus this was either filmed during peak decibel level at the Superdome, or that’s the quality of audio you get when you decide to film with a potato. We’re going to go with the latter.

H/T MidwestSportsFans via Deadspin

New Penn State Trustee Anthony Lubrano needs a dose of this little thing called reality (Video)

What planet are we on? Is this for real? We all know Penn State and its devoted clan live in their own little bubble in State College where things known as “facts” and “reality” get brushed aside for popular opinion, but this is absurd.

Anthony Lubrano, who was recently elected as a Penn State Board of Trustee member, needs to be sent to a far, far away land to where his thoughts have little to no affect on actual life. The above video was uploaded to YouTube on March 15 as a campaign video to help Lubrano get elected to the Penn State Board of Trustees. For Lubrano to not only say that Joe Paterno wasn’t involved at all in the crimes, but that this wasn’t a Penn State scandal? Dude needs to be stabbed in the nuts to wake him up and bring him back to the real world.

Screw the absurdness of the denial part, did you catch the part to where Lubrano wants Paterno to be named head football coach of Penn State, posthumously? Meaning give the dude who’s been basically a walking corpse for 8 years but is now officially dead his job back. Seems sane.

These are the people still running Penn State. It’s an extremely scary thought and it shows us that not much had changed concerning the attitude of Penn Staters as of March.

Video edited by Sports by Brooks

Fishermen freak out after shark pops out of water to steal their catch (Video)

If Bassmassters started featuring these fine Southern folk then they may start to have a legitimate following on their hands.  Pure entertainment.  But you can’t really blame these people for their reactions.  Don’t think anyone would watch a large shark eat their catch and calmly exclaim, “My word. I do say that was quite an interesting moment.” If there’s an appropriate time to flip out, that is the time.

Literally thought the woman was yelling at the guy and said, “A shart!  A shart!  A big-ass shart!”  Which, judging by his reaction, may not have been far off as there is an 85% chance he sharted his pants.

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Jose Canseco still thinks he’d win the Home Run Derby

Oh, why won’t anybody give poor Jose Canseco a chance to compete in the Home Run Derby? Screw these current superstars who are trying to steal the spotlight away from him. Canseco’s only 48 years old, hasn’t played in the majors since 2002 and is one of the few people in the known world whose testicles can be identified as raisins. And since he’s hurting for money, he’d just like some advice on how to win the lottery. Is that too much to ask?

Plus he’s like the sauced-up of version of Jerry Maguire. He completes you.

Actually shocked there weren’t any spelling errors in that one.

Russian racing reporter gets demolished by drifting car (Video)

One thing’s for sure, this Russian reporter needs a promotion and he needs it pronto. Not only did he not die (minor injures, via the credible journalistic source of the YouTube description), but the true sports reporter held onto the mic until the very end. That’s dedication to the craft. Get this man on the NFL sidelines every Sunday ready and willing to have his kneecaps explode. It would actually be cheaper for FOX to pay him a years salary in rubles than what they currently compensate Tony Siragusa in hoagies.

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Bryce Harper gets a pie to the face in his new trademarked shirt (Video)

That’s a clown pie, bro.

Jayson Werth gave the 19-year-old a shaving cream pie to the face after the Nationals defeated the Giants 9-4 on July 4th. It’s all fun and games right now in Washington as they have the best record in the NL and a  four-game lead in the East. The Nationals haven’t seen this much potential since, I don’t know, 1994 when the team was in Montreal (Felipe Alou still blames not giving Jobu enough rum for the strike).

Nice advertising spot for Under Armour, as well. Somebody just needs to go arrest every vendor on the street in Washington selling unlicensed “Clown Question, Bro” merchandise and they may turn a profit someday.

H/T Busted Coverage

Chad Johnson responds to grieving widow on Twitter, flying her to his wedding

Say what you want about some of his antics on and off the field, but Chad Ochocinco Johnson deserves some respect for this random act of kindness.

One of Johnson’s 3,563,678 Twitter followers, @cheryl2958 (Cheryl Minton), has been reaching out to the Dolphins wide receiver over Twitter consistently. One of her tweets wished him and his fiancee, Evelyn Lozada, a good life together after she had lost her husband.

She sent another similar tweet to Chad on July 1 and another earlier on Tuesday — the day before Chad and Evelyn’s wedding. This time Chad responded by inviting the woman to his wedding (each tweet begins with Chad’s response to Cheryl):

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Andre Drummond’s free throw shooting is abysmal

Andre Drummond was drafted No. 9 overall by the Pistons on Thursday. Even though being selected in the top 10 suggests a player is going to be a game-changer at the next level, there are a few aspects of his game Andre Drummond has to improve.

Seriously, Drummond needs to be sent on a summer vacation to Herb Magee’s basement to work on his free throw shooting.

When you think of a notoriously bad free throw shooters, maybe Shaquille O’Neal comes to mind. As bad as Shaq was — and remember, Hack-a-Shaq was the only way to defend him — he was at least a career 52.7% shooter from the line. For comparison, in his one year of college, Andre Drummond shot 29.5% from the line. 29.5! And over the last 10 games of UConn’s season, Drummond shot just 18%.

Being a sub-60% shooter from the line in the NBA is horrible. A percentage of 50 makes you among the worst of all time. If Drummond remains around 30%, that would be an embarrassment of epic proportions. Yes, big men like Wilt Chamberlain have succeeded in the past struggling at the foul line (51.1%), but as of now it’s looking like Drummond is going to be fouled a lot during his first year with the Pistons until he can shoot almost as well as a 7-year-old from the charity stripe.

Andy Katz says Jared Sullinger has an interesting condition (Video)

If only I were so lucky. No wonder Jared Sullinger’s draft stock plummeted faster than Adam Sandler’s movie career and the Celtics were able to grab him late in the first round. He’s been packing too much heat to play effectively. It makes perfect sense now that he has back issues. Anybody would after years of carrying that extra weight around. I can’t imagine how difficult it is for him to play basketball with not one, but multiple dwarfs having fist fights for space in between his legs.

Obviously this is a slip of the tongue by Andy Katz, but that still doesn’t take away the fact that you now have the image of a couple of dwarfs fighting attached to Jared Sullinger’s crotch. On a side note, this easily has to be one of the best screw-ups we’ve ever featured on the site — and we’ve had some good ones.