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Saturday, August 17, 2019

Everything Else

Tom Brady Dancing With Ponytail in Brazil (Video)

So Tom Brady married a supermodel and has become a little feminine – so what?  So he walks his girlfriend’s tiny little purse dog around sometimes when she’s home pregnant – so what?  So the guy endorses Uggs — big deal, so does Mike Ditka. Brady decided to grow his hair out — good for him.  Maybe the three-time Super Bowl champion has a ponytail now and dances like a fairy in Brazil — big…actually, that’s where we draw line.  Check out this video of Tom Brady dancing at Carnival in Rio:

I think an intervention is in store.  This has gone way too far.  The guy has gone off the deep end.  It’s one thing to have long hair.  It’s another to put it in a ponytail.  If your hair is so long that a ponytail is the only way to keep it out of your face, you’re in desperate need of a haircut.  As a Patriots fan and having watched this guy at Super Bowl parades, I know he’s a terrible dancer.  Never has he looked this bad.  Here is some more content we can use to make fun of No. 12, courtesy of Busted Coverage. Look away, Pats fans.

TOM BRADY PONYTAIL PICTURES

Tom Zbikowski Challenges Chad Ochocinco to a Boxing Match

If Chad Ochocinco truly feels like getting banged out and isn’t just trying to entertain people on Twitter, the offer is on the table. Ravens safety Tom Zbikowski, who has a legitimately deep boxing background, told the Dan Patrick Show on Monday that he would love to box Ochocinco since the Bengals receiver “talks like he can box.” Zbikowski said he’d allow the fight to go about 45 seconds so Ocho knew what a real jab felt like before knocking him out.

Ochocinco is always talking about wanting to box and challenging Anderson “Spider” Silva, and he now has a real chance to make his alleged dream come true. At the moment, Chad is tough-talking like he might accept Zbikowski’s challenge.

“You wana go nite nite, you want to box me, for 1 your feet are to slow and you’ve no hand speed to even be competitive,” Ocho said on his Twitter account Monday afternoon. Something tells me things won’t go as smoothly for Chad as they did when he punched Marvin Lewis. Here is what Zbikowski said on his Facebook account about 15 minutes after Ochocinco’s trash-talking Tweet.

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Tim Tebow has a Sweet Golf Swing, of Course – Videos and Pictures

Denver Broncos quarterback and former Florida legend Tim Tebow played in the Honda Classic pro-am in Palm Beach Gardens this week. He was partnered with Jack Nicklaus and looked like an amateur compared to the legend, but for a guy who plays pro football he has a pretty nice swing. I mean you can see how it was possible to hear that Tebow mashed in batting practice last year. Check out this video of Tebow working a practice session as LBS contributor Sam passed along:

Pretty impressive — Tebow can pull off the orange pants look without coming across as John Daly either. Not bad.

Rich Eisen 2011 40-Yard Dash (Video) Sets Personal Record

Rich Eisen has been a good sport since 2005, running the 40-yard dash at the NFL Combine each year and allowing us all to laugh at his expense.  His personal best time of 6.22 seconds was set back in 2005.  It goes without saying that Eisen isn’t getting any younger, so expectations should be lower and lower with each passing year.  Come to find out, Rich showed up determined in 2011.  Check out the Rich Eisen 2011 40-yard dash video, courtesy of YouTube user monmouthfalcon70:

That, folks, is a new personal record of 6.18 seconds.  That time is still slower than the slowest athlete at the Combine, but good for him for setting his own goals and achieving them.  Under six seconds in 2012?  Lock it in.

Marina Barrett, Memphis Cheerleader, Goes Nuts When Team Wins (Video)

There’s a big difference between celebrating a victory and endangering your teammates.  Marina Barrett, a cheerleader from Memphis University, flirted with the line last week when her squad won the 2011 UDA College Nationals last week.  Check out the Marina Barrett freak out video where she nearly killed several of her teammates in celebration, courtesy of Ted Williams Head:

I can assure you that video was not doctored or sped up in any way.  That young lady actually reacted like that, and she will be faced with the consequences for the rest of her life when dozens of YouTube videos are created in her honor.

 

Horse Semen Shots Offered as Energy Boosters in New Zealand

I don’t even know where to begin with this story. It’s so bizarre and out there, it’s really hard to know where to start. Alright, how’s this: as you’re brushing aside images of Nacho Libre eating the eagle’s egg and the dudes in Beerfest drinking ram’s urine, we present this story of a wildfoods festival in New Zealand where they plan to sell horse semen shots as an energy booster.

The shots will go for $10, and they will debut at the Wildfoods Festival in Hokitika, New Zealand. The good news is you won’t be drinking the splooge straight up — it will be offered in cherry, licorice or banoffee pie flavors.

The Festival organizer joked that the national rugby team was using the shots as an energy booster, but that’s not factual. It was this supposed performance-enhancing tie-in that was trumpeted by Ben Maller that turned out to be incorrect.

Instead, this is merely just a fun product intended to gross people out and outdo all the other outrageous items at the festival. Now you know what to add to your bucket list (and I’m talking about attending the festival, not chugging the juice).

Pau Gasol Impersonator Michael Fanter (Video) Charging Too Much Money

How much would be willing to pay for the services of someone who looks exactly like Pau Gasol?  if he could play basketball like Gasol and you were an NBA general manager, the answer would probably be an enormous sum of money.  If you’re looking for an act for your daughter’s birthday party, Pau Gasol impersonator Michael Fanter is probably charging too much — unless your name is Bill Gates and you’re a huge Laker fan.

Deadspin recently reached out to Fanter’s spokesperson to get price for him to appear at their “15-year-old daughter’s birthday party.”  The spokesperson said Fanter would gladly take the job for $600 an hour, which is a discount from the going rate of $1,500 just for an appearance.  Do you think this is worth that much dough?

The guy looks exactly like Pau Gasol, but so what? He isn’t Pau Gasol. He’s not a phenomenal basketball player. He doesn’t talk like him. He doesn’t know Kobe Bryant.  He doesn’t even have the authentic satchel. In short, I don’t get it. Good for him for finding an impression he can master — at least physically. However, I don’t think this is Fanter’s ticket to Beverly Hills.