Larry Brown Sports

Call him a cynic, but Michael Strahan says he doesn’t have much faith in Chad Ochocinco’s romance with Basketball Wives star Evelyn Lozada.

I caught up with Strahan at the March of Dimes Annual Sports Lunch and asked if he thought a new joint reality show would be a good idea for Chad and Evelyn. 

“Well I think it’s all about that anyway,” said Strahan, who’s currently engaged to Eddie Murphy’s ex wife, Nicole. “I wouldn’t be surprised if they’re not. If [they’re not together] for the fame, then for the opportunities it presents.

Oh c’mon Mike, next you’re going to tell me you don’t believe in Santa.

Model Kelly Brook has a lot going for her. A September spread in Playboy, 32E cup size, and of course, a cornucopia of penis photos from various pro athletes.

The buxom Brit admitted that she’s been known to send a sext or two, but leaves the naked cell phone snaps to the boys like Brett Favre.

“They’re usually silly sportspeople,” Brook told Mirror, who has dated Rugby player Danny Cipriani, Jason Statham, and Glee actor Matthew Morrison. “I just keep them all for collateral.”

Boys, take a lesson–women don’t even particularly like wiener pictures, but we are going to keep them just in case you screw us over. And we definitely, definitely show our friends. At least I do. Sorry Bryan. And Pete. And Sid. And Eliot. Photos via WWTDD.com.

Maybe one of the NFL’s bottom-feeders could fly her in for a game, because the Jets seem to be doing okay.  Victoria’s Secret supermodel Selita Ebanks may be good luck for the New York Jets, who just happen to win whenever she’s cheering them on.

The leggy vixen — who once dated New York Giants defensive lineman Osi Umenyiora and may or may not still be seeing Phillies slugger Ryan Howard — was all about Gang Green this weekend.  According to the NY Post, Ebanks turned up at a viewing party in full Jets regalia and green nails to support the team’s last-minute win over the Texans, even scarfing down two hot dogs and a cannoli like any true Jets fanatic would have.  Nothing says “team spirit” like congestive heart failure.

Actress/singer/large-toothed person Hilary Duff admits that she frequently sends naked cell phone snaps to her NHL husband, Pittsburgh Penguin forward Mike Comrie.

“Oh boy I’m going to get in trouble… I send [nude] pictures but never with my face in them,” Duff admits. “Gotta keep it fun, gotta keep it interesting. He knows better than to show his hockey buddies or forward them. We are married you know.”

I hate to burst her bubble, but if she keeps her face out of the picture, then Mike is DEFINITELY going to be showing his teammates because they won’t know it’s her.

Wait, but then they might think he’s cheating—and professional athletes never do that. I’m sorry, I don’t know what I was thinking. My bad.

When will it be mandatory for reality stars to get their tubes tied? Apparently, not soon enough. Real Housewives of Atlanta star Kim Zolciak has a bun in the oven courtesy of  Atlanta Falcons defensive end Kroy Biermann, 25, after just five months of dating.

“I was surprised!” admits Kim, who hilariously claims to be 32 years old.  “While it wasn’t planned, God clearly has a bigger and better plan for us and we’re excited.”

The pair met during an episode of the series, which aired just this week, and Kim says she can already see a future for them.

“I definitely don’t want to get married while I’m pregnant,” she says. “But I can see myself marrying Kroy in the future.”

That’s funny, we don’t remember him asking.

Forget retro jerseys or composite sticks—punching cab drivers seems to be the hottest trend amongst the NHL’s young stars. Last summer, we heard about Chicago Blackhawks phenom/Twi-hard Patrick Kane’s infamous freak out when a Buffalo cab driver failed to produce a whopping 20 cents in change.

Now it seems that Calgary Flames forward Brett Sutter—son of Darryl Sutter, the team’s general manager—opened up a can of dorky Canadian whoop ass on an unlucky cabbie outside a bar in Scottsdale, Arizona, punching him in the face.

Less than pleased with the prodigal son’s behavior, the Flames (who have the creepiest fans on earth) busted him down to their minor league affiliate, the Abbotsford Heat. But the 23-year-old sniper didn’t languish long in AHL purgatory; on Wednesday, the team did away with him altogether, trading him to the Carolina Hurricanes.

I don’t know which is more offensive–slugging some poor immigrant driving your taxi…or doing it with that creepy “To Catch A Predator” mustache. Chilling.

Ashley Walker, long-time girlfriend of Miami Heat star (and guy kisser) Rafer Alston, will make her reality TV debut on season two of VH1’s Basketball Wives. Despite not being married, or even engaged to Alston, Walker insists that a proposal is coming soon.

“We will be getting married in 2012,” she tells Bossip.com, “but we’re not officially engaged.”

That’s like saying you’re having a baby in eight months but you’re not officially pregnant. One needs to come before the other, that’s how it works. But still, she’s confident that her bond with Alston is deeper than mere matrimony.

“We’ve been together almost five years and lived together for four-and-a-half years, we have a house, we have kids, so, to each his own,” she explains. “A piece of paper doesn’t define our relationship and, in our eyes, we are married.”

So which is it, Ash? Are you getting hitched or not? When will WAGs learn that a house, kids and “commitment in your heart” mean nothing without that all-important pre-nup.

Let’s hope she’ll learn from Eva Longoria’s example—without that ring you have no means of revenge!