Toledo — After getting blasted by the Toledo Rockets 54-38 on Friday evening, the Colorado alumni made their displeasure with the program known. Several prominent football boosters phoned athletic director Mike Bohn to complain about the team getting manhandled in their first two games of the season. The Buffs are 0-2 and have been outscored 77-55 in their losses to Colorado State and Toledo. The biggest complaint was that the defense allowed little known Toledo quarterback Aaron Opelt to look like a Heisman Trophy candidate. The senior quarterback with a career rating of 78.4 threw for 319 yards and four touchdowns while also running for 109 yards and two touchdowns.
Phone calls apparently began coming in early in the third quarter when the team was down 30-3 and also in the fourth quarter when they were down 54-24. The Buffs are now 13-26 under Dan Hawkins who’s in his fourth year as the school’s football coach. One anonymous backer of the program said, “Four double-digit win seasons last decade, we’re used to a certain standard of winning around here. Right now the program is not achieving at the level where we want to be. For me, the performance starts all the way at the top.” Another booster made a fourth quarter call to Bohn insisting that Dan Hawkins not be allowed back on the plane to Boulder, suggesting he take a bus back to think long and hard about how much he wants this job. Luckily quarterback Cody Hawkins was allowed to travel back with the team.
*The events detailed in this story never actually happened. Dan Hawkins instead posted his response below: