Larry Brown Sports

I guess I like missed this or something, so I must share because it’s pretty funny. It’s like that cute chick who shows up at her first UCLA football game wearing red in the stands. Yeah, that shirt’s coming off, whether or not the men around her like it. From KUTV Salt Lake City via Fark:

And did you notice Tony Parkers Desperate Housewife, Eva Longoria, was wearing the same light blue colored shirt that the Jazz passed out to the fans on Saturday? (No…it didn’t say Jazz, but you could hardly tell) What was SHE thinking???

That’s sad. And pathetic — if it’s true. How could she do something so stupid? Clearly that’s not Eva in the picture, but it’s the best I could do. And better than she could look. (he really didn’t just say that did he? oh yeah, he did.)

From the East Valley Tribune:

Sorry, I just had to post that. If you can’t already figure it out, really dumb, moronic mistakes when it comes to screwing up the names of baseball players bother me. And that’s ignoring the moronic shmuck who would actually compare Carmona to the great Johan Santana. Not to say Carmona isn’t good, but please wake me when Carmona strikes out 12 next time out. Thanks.

No less than three hours after winning the Greatest Spectacle in Motor Racing, here’s what appeared on the homepage of Yahoo!:

Yes, congrats to the winner of the Indy 500 — Ashley Judd’s husband. Seriously. How sad is that? This was pointed out to me by my buddy John Fricke, who was lamenting the diminished relevance of the Indianapolis 500. I see what Yahoo! is doing here — they have this featured on their homepage, where people are more likely to recognize the name “Ashley Judd” than “Dario Franchitti.” They figure it’s a great way of getting non-sports fans to cross over into the world of athletics. But as a sports fan, this upsets me. Just as the phrase “Eva Longoria’s fiance wins NBA championship,” would bother me. But the ultimate point John made, aside from the slight towards Dario, was that there was a time in our society, not too long ago, when putting the name of the Indy 500 on the front page of a popular website would have been enough. But then again, if Franchitti weren’t married to Judd, would this have even made front page news? Probably not.

I just don’t see it.  Call me a snob, call me whatever you want, but UFC just doesn’t do it for me.  It has nothing to offer.  And it certainly has nothing on boxing.  Seriously.  All the ads for the sport are such a farce.  They’re just like that Girls Gone Wild loop that airs at 3am; three hours of crappy footage, compiled into 30 seconds of the best action, making you believe it’s the greatest thing you’ll ever see (sense any bitterness?).  Until you actually order it, and then you realize that 98% of it sucks, while only 2% is good.  And I can’t even say that much of this fight was good.  Anywhoo, enough of the diatribe.  Here’s the fight (if you can call it that):

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Yay.  I’m so excited.

Since Joe Torre took over as manager of the Yankees in 1996, only one Major League team has a winning record against his New York club. And if you can’t guess who it is based on the title of this post, then someone needs to hit you over the head with a tack hammer because you are a moron. That’s right, you guessed it, the Angels. My gutty, gritty Angels baby. 56-52 against the Yanks since Joe Torre took over — haunting him in his sleep. If that’s not enough, the Angels have also extinguished the Yanks from the playoffs twice in that span. And last night in the Bronx, the Angels proved once again, that they OWN the Yankees.

A 10-6 win, and Jered Weaver wasn’t even that sharp. It’s like some sort of magnetic effect; the Yanks draw out the best in the Angels offense — no matter who it is, no matter how bad they are slumping. Witness Chone Figgins: prior to Friday night’s game, he didn’t have a home run in 75 at-bats. But on Friday, he went 1 for 5 with a dinger. Or take Casey Kotchman: prior to Friday night’s game, he only had 3 home runs in 142 at-bats. In Friday’s game, he went 3 for 5, with a death blow to deep right. It may sound crazy, but I honestly wish the Angels played the Yanks 50 times a season. That would guarantee them a spot in the playoffs every year.

Let’s play word association: what do the three terms above have in common? Give up? Easy — Fatemeh Angela Harkness.

Fatemeh Angela Harkness, 31, of Red rock, pleaded guilty in January 2004 to conspiring with banker Gary Jones to embezzle more than $1 million from his Austin bank from 2000 to 2003. She received a 40-month sentence.

Harkness and Jones used the money to assemble a NASCAR team called Angela’s Motorsports. The team, featuring driver Mike McLaughlin, entered cars in the Busch Grand National Series starting in late 2002.

But the sly chick fled to Mexico, and then the United Arab Emirates, before finally surrendering last month. And now she’s headed to jail for what I’m sure will be a very long time. But how does “stripper” fit into the equation you ask? She used to be one. Alas, the circle is now complete.

Recently at MLB FanHouse:

• Barry Bonds is bringing back the diamond cross
• Forget what Barry does or does not do, Alex Rodriguez is next in line to break the record
• Will Joe DiMaggio’s 56-game hitting streak ever be broken?
• Armando Benitez = horrible teammate
• Rockies coaches about to get fired?
• Randy Johnson…wrist injury…are you thinking what I’m thinking?

Sure, I’m one to forgive, but I don’t forget. And I don’t forget what Marvin Lewis initially said before he apologized. Lewis first said this on the Dan Patrick Show:

I think there’s profiling, no question,” Lewis said on the show. “We’re (Cincinnati) a small place – our guys stand out, and they know that, and you’ve got to do things the right way. But when you are arrested for, or you are pulled over for, not putting on your turn signal, there’s something wrong there.

“Many people make right turns without putting on their turn signals and it’s unfortunate that we’ve had a guy that’s pulled over for not putting on his turn signal.”

Later he apologized after he realized the ramifications of his remark. But you know what that signifies to me? It signifies to me that Marvin Lewis is on the side of his players who have committed several crimes — no matter how big or small they have been. Everybody knows the law. Everyone who drives a car knows that they have the potential to be ticketed for even the slightest offense. Anyone can be ticketed for hanging something on their rear-view mirror, making a rolling stop, and not putting their turn signal on. If I get a ticket for one of those petty offenses, it is not an issue of racial profiling. Rather, it is an issue of the police strictly enforcing what appears to be an insignificant rule. It is well within their right to do so.

But for Marvin Lewis to make an excuse, and blame the Cincinnati police department for picking on his players is simply wrong. Marvin Lewis has shown me his true colors, and he has shown me that he is enabling the poor off-field behavior of his players. Yes, it was easy for Lewis to take action when the delinquent men in question were non-roster players like A.J. Nicholson and Matthias Askew. But when it’s someone valuable like Chris Henry or Odell Thurman, he is slow to discipline. And to make matters worse, he makes an excuse for his players. Everyone keeps wondering why there has been a negative spiral of attention associated with the Bengals over the past two seasons. Well, now it appears as if we don’t need to look any further than their head coach as the reason why.

I won’t even begin to explain the dudes stats, but I think the story is pretty cool. And this is definitely one of the best leads to an article I’ve read in quite some time. From the Philly Inquirer

The Eagles signed a potential future Hall of Famer this off-season, and nobody seemed all that excited about it.

Well, yeah. If he ain’t catching 65 yard bombs from Donovan McNabb, then what’s there to be too excited about? But this actually sounds pretty cool. Saverio Rocca is his name, and he’s trying to make it as — ready for this — the new Eagles punter. Woohoo. And OK, I lied, here are his stats: with the Magpies and Kangaroos, Rocca had 748 goals in 257 games — ranking 12th all-time in Australian Football League history. Obviously he’s not going to have a huge impact on the game, but can you blame me for being mildly excited about this? I mean, just look at that picture — Aussie Rules is a real man’s game!  But on a serious note, I think it’s great for the game to incorporate some of the most talented players from around the world.  Baseball, basketball, and hockey already do it, why not football too?

My first question asked to Pistons connoisseur and proprietor of Detroit Bad Boys, Matt Watson, in regards to Detroit’s Game 2 victory was, “was that a foul by Rip on LeBron?” You figure someone with a natural bias like his would flat-out say no, or say it was questionable. Or say it was just good defense. Instead, he pointed out something else — the opinion that the refs hadn’t been calling those fouls all game long. And you know what — he’s right. It doesn’t matter if the refs call it a foul, or let the guys play. What matters is that they’re consistent.

See, the officials meet with the teams before each series. They make their policy well-known way in advance — notifying players and coaches what will fly and what won’t. And if teams know they will be allowed a lot of wiggle room on defense, then who’s to blame them for taking advantage of it? All I know is that the refs were consistent last night, and that’s all we can ask of them. On another note, why wasn’t more of a deal made about this questionable elbow by LeBron in Game 1, as noted at DBB via True Hoop:

hmm, looks pretty bad to me.