Larry Brown Sports

Matt Holliday. Roy Halladay. Roy Oswalt. Those are just three of the best players in baseball to be traded over the past year, two of which came at the deadline. Strangely enough, there has been one uniting issue about all three players: one minor leaguer has been involved in all three of their deals. Brett Wallace.

Wallace was good enough to be the centerpiece in a deal for an All-Star slugger and MVP candidate. Average enough to be swapped for another minor league hitter. Promising enough to be desired for a Cy Young candidate. So steady that a career .263 hitter was more attractive. How is it possible that a player can be so wanted and unwanted at the same time? Before we answer that question, we must first find out more about the man.

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Ready for the weird story of the day? Former Philadelphia Eagles’ cheerleader, Donna McCall, is engaged to her childhood crush. Now that wouldn’t be so weird if her childhood crush wasn’t Butch Patrick, a.k.a Eddie Munster from The Munsters.

I’m not one to judge people on who they fall in love with, but does anyone else think that this is a little creepy? McCall has had a crush on Patrick ever since the show was on the air in the 60s.  She wrote him a love letter in 1964 and continued writing even after the show ended because she was so infatuated with the actor. One day Patrick decided to write back and gave McCall his phone number. When she called him she immediately felt “at ease” and even spoke to his mother too. Uh, OK?

That’s not even the weirdest part about all this. They finally met at DraculiaCon II in May of this year and shortly after got engaged. Yes, I said May as in just over two months ago. This is a story where all stereotypes fly out the window. McCall may have been a cheerleader, but she was a cheerleader with an odd crush that she never let die. Hey, I guess she could say that she beat everyone to the whole vampire obsession because she’s been crushing on little Eddie Munster for almost 50 years. Well, kudos to the happy couple.  I hope married life doesn’t suck. (Sorry, I couldn’t help myself).

Sources:
Donna McCall to marry Eddie Munster actor Butch Patrick, a love story 46 years in the making [Examiner]

We already told you about Redskins defensive tackle Albert Haynesworth failing his conditioning test for the second straight day on Friday. Haynesworth actually appears to be in pretty good shape, making me believe that Coach Mike Shanahan is intentionally trying to make Haynesworth look bad. I understand where Shanahan is coming from — he’s trying to assert his dominance after Haynesworth skipped the team’s minicamp.

So just how bad is the test Shanahan’s been putting Haynesworth through? Not so bad apparently, as FOX 5 reporter Lindsay Murphy can attest. Murphy decided to run the 300 yard shuttle runs (25 yards back and forth six times) to see how her times stacked up against Albert’s. Remember, Haynesworth has to complete the first 300 yard shuttle run in under 70 seconds and complete the second shuttle run in under 73 seconds with only a three minute break between sets. Murphy finished her first set in 68 seconds, besting Albert’s time. Not too bad for a reporter. Here’s the Lindsay Murphy conditioning video from MyFoxDC:

Sources:
How Hard is Albert Haynesworth’s Conditioning Test? [MyFoxDC]

Friday night was “Mullet Night” at U.S. Cellular Field in Chicago for the White Sox/A’s game. The Sox’s Web site explained the details behind Mullet Night: Join the White Sox for a night celebrating a classic American hairstyle, THE MULLET. Stay postgame for a spectacular fireworks display set to a music soundtrack of classic hair-bangin’ rockers!

Apparently the first 250 fans participated in some sort of pregame mullet march around the field too. I don’t know if the mullets had anything to do with it, but the Sox continued their stellar play winning 6-1 for their 12th straight home victory.

It must also be mentioned that alleged Detroit lover Kid Rock threw out the ceremonial first pitch and had Dick Butkus’ name misspelled on the back of his shirt. I don’t know of too many Tigers fans who would be so willing to wear White Sox gear, but I guess Kid Rock is one of them. Anyway, here is a comprehensive review of some of the best ‘dos at the Cell for Mullet Night.

Business in the front, party in the back.

Photo Credits: Coach_Burnett, MattWhilhelmBMX

I came across a blurb on Friday night so bizarre I had to post it. Reading through some of NESN’s Patriots training camp notes, they pointed out that a fan asked Randy Moss to sign a $100 bill for them. Putting aside the obvious issues of whether or not Moss’ signature raises or lowers the value of the bill, or whether or not the value remains unchanged, there is a better question: did he sign it “straight cash homey”?

“When you rich you don’t right checks. How do you pay? Straight cash homey.” True badass. And you wonder why (aside from all the victories he’s led my fantasy teams to) I love the guy. There’s your answer.

Sources:
Randy Moss Signs $100 Bill for Fan As Patriots Begin to Feel Pain of Training Camp [NESN]

Talk about a dick move. Now that they have the Bermuda Triangle in Miami — LeBron James, Chris Bosh, and Dwyane Wade — fans have been celebrating and Miami Heat tickets are the hottest item in town and fans have been celebrating. They have sold out all their season tickets and won’t have to worry about playing in an empty arena for the next few years. Because of the popularity of the tickets, the Heat decided they have no use for a season tickets sales staff. As a result, they canned 30 employees on Friday, according to The Miami Herald via SB Nation.

The dismissals reflect the new Heat position in basketball: it can sell tickets without really trying.

“They let us go because there was really nothing left to do anymore,” the fired staffer said.

With a mass firing like that, you would think the wages the staffers earned went against the salary cap! That’s straight cold blooded by the Miami Heat. I guess there is no longer a need for the staff since the product sells itself, but it’s just crap the way those people got cut. Looks like the only people who didn’t want LeBron to go to Miami were the 30 members of the sales team.

Sources:
With Heat season tickets sold out, team fires season ticket sales staff [The Miami Herald]
The Wages Of Empire: Miami Heat Fire Their Season Ticket Sales Staff [SB Nation]

I couldn’t help but smile on Thursday when I heard that Albert Haynesworth had failed the conditioning test that he needs to pass in order to participate in training camp. You can only imagine my joy when I heard that Mr. Haynesworth failed again on Friday morning. In my opinion, it’s all just Karma for the Redskins defensive tackle.

2010 has been quite the year for Haynesworth. It all started when he decided he didn’t want to be a team player and show up for two voluntary minicamps. Apparently, he thought his absence would suddenly change the mind of defensive coordinator Jim Haslett and he would leave their defense at a 4-3 instead of the 3-4 that Haynesworth doesn’t like. Well think again. Then he had some baby mama drama with his ex-girlfriend who is apparently pregnant with his child. If things weren’t bad enough with this guy, he not only took the $21 million bonus the team gave him on April 1st, but then it looked as if he was trying to destroy the Redskins too.

So I say Ha! Haynesworth’s behavior is finally catching up to him. When he finally decides he wants to play with the Redskins, he can’t pass the test. It’s awesome. The funniest thing about Friday’s failure was that he needed to complete the first part of the test in 70 seconds or less — and he finished in 71 seconds. Just a thought, but maybe you wouldn’t be in this situation if you showed up for minicamp like the rest of your teammates? Oh well, what goes around comes around.

Sources:
Haynesworth fails 2nd conditioning test [AP/FOX Sports]

If the unthinkable happens and the Patriots are unable to retain Tom Brady beyond the 2010 season, the team’s owner, Robert Kraft, has set himself up to look pretty bad. We all know I think Brady’s staying right where he is, as I pointed out when dicussing how the media is blowing NFL quarterback contract situations out of proportion.  It would appear that Kraft couldn’t agree more and if you put any stock into the guarantees of a team owner, you should have no doubts that Brady and the Patriots will reach a long-term deal.

Kraft recently gushed about his franchise quarterback to the New York Times in a way that we’re almost not accustomed to hearing from an owner.  Here’s what he had to say about Tom Brady’s contract situation, courtesy of Pro Football Talk:

He’s going to be here,” Kraft told Judy Battista of the New York Times. “I love the guy. We’re so lucky to have him. I have an emotional attachment because I remember him coming in as the fourth quarterback, being a skinny beanpole of a kid.”

In my mind, he will be [here],” Kraft said. “One way or another. I believe he wants to be here. We want him here. We have a complicated situation we’re dealing with. There are a lot of forces at work. One way or another it will work out.”

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