Larry Brown Sports

Giants eccentric closer Brian Wilson was fined last year for wearing cleats MLB deemed too orange. He said MLB told him he had too much awesome on his feet. I don’t know if the “too much awesome” quote applied to those shoes, but it certainly does for the sweet cleats he rocked at the All-Star Game this year.

Who even thinks of having his own face painted on his cleats? The same guy who would wear this outfit during an interview.

Pic via Frisco Fastball
Story via Cosby Sweaters

The fans really nailed the NL starters for the All-Star Game. I only had one complaint with the fan vote, so they must be commended for getting it right. All my other complaints are really nit-picking because the NL All-Star team was well selected. Manager Bruce Bochy was too much of a homer and included a few too many Giants pitchers, so that’s the only other issue I really have. Here are the NL All-Star team snubs (written as the player who should have made it over the one who did):

Aramis Ramirez over Placido Polanco, Chipper Jones at 3B

Fans got all the starters right except for Placido Polanco at third base. There was no real standout at the position this year but Ramirez is having the best year of all NL third basemen. He should have been the starter over Polanco and the backup over Chipper Jones. It should have gone Aramis and then either Chipper or Chase Headley as the backup.

Andrew McCutchen over Jay Bruce in OF

McCutchen misses out on his second straight All-Star game in favor of a Pirates reliever. He deserved to go last year over Evan Meek and deserves to go this year. Bruce had a major power surge in May that captured everyone’s attention but h’s cooled off since then. McCutchen, with his 12 home runs and 15 stolen bases, has been the better overall player.

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Closer Brian Wilson blew his second straight save chance for the Giants and he did not take it well. After giving up four hits and a walk against the seven batters he faced in Detroit Friday night, manager Bruce Bochy pulled him. Wilson reacted by busting up a Gatorade cooler like he were Carlos Zambrano or Carlos Perez. Check out the Brian Wilson meltdown video:

If there are any redeeming aspects of the meltdown, it’s that Wilson stuck to inanimate objects rather than his teammates, unlike Carlos Zambrano. It was also quite sweet of him to set the cooler back up after he was done busting it up.

You may have noticed that Wilson punched a cooler on the wall at one point. That’s an easy ticket to a hand injury, but that wasn’t the case, he says. “It’s fine. Ask the wall,” Wilson reportedly said about his hand after the game.

Then when asked if it would be difficult to watch highlights of him busting up the cooler, he gave a typical Brian Wilson response. “Why? … I mean, I squared [the cooler] up.”

Classic Brian Wilson. Maybe next time he should stick to lip syncing music videos in order to land on YouTube rather than meltdowns. And by the way, Jeremy Affeldt closed it out to preserve the win.

Back in spring training, we had heard that YouTube star Keenan Cahill was headed to Arizona to make a video with Giants players Brian Wilson and Cody Ross. Well he did, and the result is spectacular. Check out this must-see video of Cahill, Wilson, and Ross lip-syncing to Dynamite. It is beautiful:

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MLB 2K is promoting its latest video game and darn did they do a great job selecting a pitchman. For the second year in a row they went with a Giants pitcher, but this time they picked a guy wacky enough to go viral and give them their money’s worth. Brian Wilson, who became known for his insane interview on Jim Rome is Burning (must-see if you haven’t), went on Lopez Tonight to promote the game Thursday night and the interview was nothing less than what you would expect from Wilson.

The man came dressed as a sailor complete with two sailor hats, raved about a trip to Thailand where he visited massage parlors, and he got in a brilliant Chuck Norris reference. Oh, and of course his buddy The Machine made an appearance (if you don’t know who that is, get caught up here). Check out this must-see video of Brian Wilson’s interview on Lopez Tonight:

Thanks to 22 Gigantes for the video tip and for the excellent breakdown of the whole interview.

We’ve already dedicated a fair amount of coverage to the insanity that is Giants closer Brian Wilson. First came Wilson’s oddball interview with Jim Rome. If you haven’t seen it, it’s a must-see. Words can’t describe how strange it was. A few days prior to the Rome interview, Wilson was doing a skype interview on the Cheap Seats with Chris Rose when midway through the interview, a masked, S&M guy in a gimp outfit walked by in the background. Rose understandably freaked out and of course Wilson played it off. Then, in the middle of an NLCS celebratory interview, Wilson again mentioned “The Machine,” sending the internet into a tizzy.

So the question was asked by Deadspin: who was the gimp? SI Hot Clicks passed on word that The Fightins has the answer. The Fightins, a Phillies fan site, shared a picture of Pat Burrell in the costume from about five years ago that supposedly confirms the Giants outfielder doubles as The Machine. Here’s the pics of Pat Burrell as The Machine:

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I don’t know if Brian Wilson had an extra role in the movie 8mm or what, because he sure acts like he’s getting residual checks. Every time he has a chance to bring up the movie in an interview he’s done so, and he seems to be making it his personal mission to ensure everybody checks out the 1999 Nicolas Cage film.

In late August, the crazy closer stunned Chris Rose in an interview on the Cheap Seats when he had an S&M gimp-looking masked man walk through the background as they were talking. The Pulp Fiction-looking gimp is actually a character from 8mm called the Machine, who’s a masked pornstar. A few days later, Wilson broke out a mask from his back pocket during a bizarre interview with Jim Rome (must-see if you haven’t checked it out).

And in case you missed it, Brian Wilson broke out another reference to “The Machine” during an NLCS celebratory interview with FOX reporter Chris Rose once again:

That is one wacky dude. Let’s just hope the Rangers win so we don’t have to worry about another appearance from the Gimp err, the Machine.

And if you want to see the video where the Machine first appears, check it out at the 0:43 mark:

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