Larry Brown Sports

Move over Erin Andrews, Jenn Brown, Charissa Thompson and the rest of the inexplicably hot sideline reporter and sports broadcaster community.  Kristina Akra wants her title shot, and we here at LBS are already prepared to hand her the belt.  The Big Lead pointed out that Akra was working the sidelines for Fox Sports at the BC-Providence game, where she turned plenty of heads.  She began her reporting career with the Patriots.  It’s our duty to do everything we can to shoot her into the national spotlight.

Jenn Brown’s bikini pics were phenomenal, but the former Miami Heat dancer could rival them at some point.  Who knows, maybe she’ll be invited to pose for SI’s Swimsuit Issue and accept the offer unlike Brown.  We’ll keep our fingers crossed.  Here’s hoping we see a lot more of the newest smokeshow in the sideline reporter community.  Here are some Kristina Akra photos for your viewing pleasure:

Apparently seeing this sideline reporter get dinged in the head with a soccer ball has spooked other members of the sideline reporter community in Europe.  Nobody wants to take a soccer ball to the head from a professional footballer, and understandably so.  Check out the video of soccer analyst Mehmet Scholl scared of taking a soccer ball to the head, courtesy of SI Hot Clicks:

This clip makes me wonder if anyone’s had nightmares about the original incident.

Video Credit: YouTube user skullploaded

We have to assume reporters who do the pregame show for a soccer game in Germany know where to set up shop so that they’re safely removed from the line of fire.  As we can see here, they try to avoid painful occurrences by stationing themselves a good distance away from the warm-up action.  With that in mind, I’ll let you decide whether or not this is intentional.  Check out the video of German reporter Jessica Kastrop taking a soccer ball to the back of the head, courtesy of Out of Bounds:

If you ask me, that’s about as intentional as a LeGarrette Blount punch to the head.  There isn’t even a player anywhere near where the ball is going.  I don’t know if I’m ready to say that the person who kicked it meant to hit the female reporter right in the dome, but I have a funny feeling they meant to cause a stir at the news desk.  We’ll probably never know.

Sources:
Morning Fail: TV newswoman soccer ball to the head [Out of Bounds]
Video Credit: YouTube user Ramses91619

As seriously as some people take the NBA, I’m glad that ABC is there to remind us that it’s nothing more than entertainment. That’s the message they were trying to send, right? Flashing to celebrities left and right and sending a normally focused and to-the-point interviewer like Doris Burke out to do fluff pieces certainly showed us what their priorities were. I’m sure glad that the Lakers weren’t pushed around and that Kobe Bryant and Phil Jackson put the clowns in their places.

While Kobe was trying to focus on winning Game 1 of the NBA Finals, comedian Chris Rock was sitting courtside and trying to crack jokes. Kobe straight pokerfaced Rock who didn’t seem to understand that Kobe was at work to perform his job. As if that wasn’t good enough, apparently Lakers coach Phil Jackson ruined Doris Burke’s courtside interview with Rock. Here’s the Phil Jackson/Chris Rock video:

I’ve always said that sideline reporters were useless in sports and this further confirms my feelings. Who would have thought that this is what it would take for me to connect with Phil and Kobe? Way to go guys!

I’ve often talked about how useless sideline reporters are and how much I can’t stand in-game interviews. Sideline reporters bring nothing to the table and are nothing more than eye candy, except in the rarest of circumstances. In-game interviews suck because they take away from the live feel of the game and make sports contests feel like scripted dramas. Not only that, but you almost never get any relevant information from a coach during an in-game interview. Think about it — would you actually tip off the television audience about any pertinent information that could get back to the other team? Of course not. That’s what makes them useless.

Even though I’m not a big Brad Childress fan and think he’s proven himself to be deceitful on numerous occasions, I loved what he did to FOX prior to the NFC Championship game. After Saints coach Sean Payton answered a question from Pam Oliver, things got tossed over to Chris Myers who asked Brad Childress a few basic questions. Childress was standoffish the first question or two but played it straight. The last question asked by Myers had to do with Minnesota’s offensive game plan on the opening drive. Childress said the offensive play calling would be balanced in terms of rushing and passing.

Next thing you knew the game had started and the Vikings threw it four times to open up the game. Troy Aikman and Joe Buck were commenting throughout the opening drive that the team was doing the exact opposite of what Childress said they would, even going so far as to call Childress is a liar. I’m quite pleased that Childress didn’t divulge the team’s true intentions to Myers. Yeah — that’s exactly what a coach wants to do prior to a huge game with only 40 million people watching — let them all know what they planned to do. I hope FOX realizes that Childress made jerks out of them, not the other way around. Maybe they get the clue that asking a coach for his plan on camera right before a game starts is completely inappropriate and invasive. Give me a break.

This is like the dream scenario for me. I’m a huge Billy Gillispie fan, having gone on the record a long time ago saying that it was a great hire for Kentucky. I still feel that way. Perhaps it’s because I think on the same level as this guy (you know, in a non-basketball sense) that I appreciate the video so much. I’ve also been on record saying that sideline reporters and sideline reports for the most part serve no purpose in game telecasts. Clearly Gillispie agrees. He made reporter Jeannine Edwards look pretty bad in the Ole Miss game, and the two met once again this week. Naturally the exchange went smoothly. Or not.

If a coach were embarrassing a reporter I would not agree with his/her actions. But if a coach is pointing out that the reporter is asking poor questions (which was the case), then I think that’s fair. Allow me to give Edwards and all other halftime interviewers a brief lesson: your first (and often only) question to ask should be … what do you plan to do differently in the second half? This question does not intrude the coach’s privacy and allows him/her the freedom to take the question where he wants. Then, you may also ask a follow-up question if there is an injury to a key player. Outside of that, what else could you possibly achieve with an interview that lasts 30 seconds with a person who does not wish to speak with you?

I’ve already made it pretty clear what I think (or don’t think) of sideline reporters. It’s not necessarily them that I don’t like, it’s just that I don’t like their role. The don’t serve a purpose. Why did we need Tafoya interrupting a moment where Kevin Garnett should be celebrating with his teammates and family? It was so forced. About the only thing good to come out of it was when KG said “Michelle, you look good tonight, girl.” Check it out the video at the 2:45 mark, it’s priceless.

Much like when you’ve had too much to drink, things must just come out when you’re hyped from winning an NBA title. Of course I wouldn’t know, I’m just guessing. That was bad, but nothing can be worse than this. Video courtesy of Awful Announcing. Did you even have to ask?

I realize I’m doing myself a bit of a disservice hoping for such a fate, but I can’t help but speak in total honesty. Mike Florio at Pro Football Talk (via Ballhype) is saying that ESPN will be dropping sideline reports on Monday Night Football, a trend I would like to see proliferate. Sure, the job market narrows somewhat for someone like me, but honestly, what role do sideline reporters actually play? As in most assessments, the first question you must ask is what does the item/person in question bring to the table? Well, for sideline reporters, it’s the occasional injury update and interview of moderate significance. Outside of that, like 90% of sideline reports are absolutely useless.

What do they really give us? A human interest story of little interest (that can easily be told by the play-by-play or color man)? An uncomfortable and strained interview with a player or coach during the heat of battle who won’t be revealing anything interesting until after the game actually ends? An injury update that circulates through the press box anyway? Honestly, what good are they? I am in no way picking on either of Monday Night Football’s reporters, and for that, I won’t even mention their name because this has nothing to do with them. I’ve just always felt that sideline reporters were utterly useless, and this story by Florio actually seems like good news to me.

So no, don’t be mistaken, this is not a commentary on individual sideline reporters or the quality of their work; it’s strictly about the specific job. Much like Smykowski in Office Space, Lil’ Jon in rap songs, and the chilled salad fork at dinner, sideline reporters don’t bring anything to the table and are generally pointless. We could easily do without them.