Steve Mariucci really needs to work on his handshake skills (GIF)

Steve Mariucci has been out of coaching since his last season with the Detroit Lions in 2005. He now works mostly as an analyst for NFL Network, which is a job that probably doesn’t involve much high-fiving or other forms of hand slapping. Maybe we should give him a break for his recent handshake debacle.

While coaching in the Under Armour All-America Game on Thursday, Mariucci had an awkward exchange with LSU commit Brandon Harris. Harris went to give the coach a standard high-five, and Mariucci looked like he had never slapped another man’s hand in his life.


Come on, coach — get it together. That was just embarrassing.

GIF via SB Nation

Cam Newton, Steve Mariucci freak out when cannon goes off (Video)

Steve MariucciThursday night’s football game between the Tampa Bay Buccaneers and Carolina Panthers was extremely boring by the end, but there was some liveliness brought to the situation when a cannon inside Raymond James Stadium went off and scared the crap out of half the people in the stadium.

Panthers quarterback Cam Newton ducked for cover like someone was trying to shoot him, while NFL Network analyst Steve Mariucci freaks like a cat that just got electrocuted. It’s even better in GIF form:

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Mike Ditka, Steve Mariucci Inspire as Under Armour High School Game Coaches

Many of us often wonder what it’s like to be inside the locker room when a famous coach is giving a speech. Do they deliver messages like Knute Rockne? Are they passionate? Moving? Inspirational? What are they like, what do they say? Thanks to TV cameras in the locker room, we get a sense of what they’re like, but you never know how much is real and how much is show. Problem is we only know what the current coaches are like, not some of the older ones.

Well two reputable and respected coaches were involved with the 2011 Under Armour All American Game, coaching each side. Check out what Mike Ditka and Steve Mariucci were like leading their locker rooms:

I know those kids are only high school players, but I hope they appreciate what they were a part of. As for the game, UCLA fans will be pleased to know quarterback commit Brett Hundley from Chandler, Arizona threw a touchdown pass early in that highlight package. And some Florida fans — not to mention the rest of the SEC — got their first glimpse of quarterback Jeff Driskel who broke a long touchdown run. At 6’4″ and 225lbs, he can give the Gators a similar weapon to what they had in Tim Tebow.

UCLA Settles on Rick Neuheisel

That’s Neuheisel — N-E-U-H-E-I-S-E-L. Better get it straight since it’s the name I’ll be pounding into the keyboard incessantly over the next several years. And I have to say, I am quite satisfied with the hire. I think Neuheisel can do what I want with UCLA football: make them achieve at reasonable levels. With Rick at coach, they’ll probably average eight wins a year, pulling 10 in a good year, and maybe only six in a down year. If he recruits a few superstars, heck we could even sneak into a BCS game or two. What I’m wondering is why it took UCLA three weeks to hire a man they could’ve had a long time ago. Is Neuheisel not ashamed that the Bruins took this long?

See, UCLA was looking to take the hottest girl in school to the prom. They knew they could get laid if they asked Rick, but what’s the fun in that? Once the hot chicks were already taken or showed no signs of interest, they settled for the sure thing. And you know what? Sometimes that’s the best way to go. You have a guy who wants the job and will work hard at the job. A guy who’s had a questionable past but has likely learned and will try to avoid the same pitfalls that brought him down elsewhere. I expect Neuheisel to be around the Bruins program for the next 10 years or so and I’m satisfied with the hire. Now retaining DeWayne Walker as defensive coordinator would be a great bonus.

UCLA Football Mathematics

May the dream come true. This week, UCLA football has the opportunity to make up for the mistake made five years ago. Hire The Mooch, and all will be forgiven and forgotten. Please let the dream come true.