If you ask Red Wings fans why they lost the Stanley Cup Finals to the Penguins, many of them will tell you it’s because the team wasn’t at full strength. Star players Pavel Datsyuk and Nicklas Lidstrom both got hurt in the Western Conference Finals against the Blackhawks. Datsyuk missed the first four games against Pittsburgh while Lidstrom did play the entire series, albeit through pain. While Lidstrom’s injury was initially described as a “lower-body injury,” we now know what the truth was. Channeling Felix Pie’s twisted testicle with the Cubs, Lidstrom had some problems with “the boys”:

While teammates played Game 4 against Chicago, Red Wings defenseman Nicklas Lidstrom was undergoing surgery after getting speared in the testicles by Patrick Sharp in Game 3.

“I thought it was OK that Saturday when I practiced,” Lidstrom said, “but Sunday, Sunday I was just in too much pain. I had surgery during that game.”

Lidstrom said he would need more tests, but more surgery probably would not be needed. He said it was the most painful injury he has had.

The Wings won both games against Chicago without him, advancing to the Stanley Cup Finals. They also were 2-2 against the Pens even without Datsyuk, so they still were in position to win even with their injuries. No doubt having both guys healthy would have helped, but they still blew it. Look, I can understand why guys like Lidstrom and Kellen Winslow wanted to keep their manhood issues quiet, but let me ask one thing: have you ever heard of a cup before? Yeah, how bout trying one next time. I hear they’re quite effective.