Larry Brown Sports

What can we say? We have the sense of humor of a few six-year-old boys here at LBS. Phillies catcher Carlos Ruiz missed Wednesday night’s game because of a left testicle contusion. He got hurt after getting hit in the schnuts by a foul ball Tuesday. Chooch managed to catch the final three innings of that game but it acted up the next day, forcing him to take a game off.

“He kind of got hit in the family jewels,” Manuel said of Ruiz Wednesday.

Brian Schneider caught for the Phillies and went 1-for-3 in their 9-2 win Wednesday night. I’d suggest Ruiz try out one of those NuttyBuddy cups, but apparently they’re not too reliable.

It’s probably no surprise that this isn’t the first testicle injury we’ve covered here at LBS. It certainly won’t be the last, but my favorite ball injury story all-time remains this one.

Between Nicklas Lidstrom and Felix Pie, we’ve seen athletes get ensnared in some serious testicle issues lately. With these other guys maybe it was a fluke injury, but with Mariners third baseman Adrian Beltre, there really isn’t anyone to blame for the injury other than himself. Despite playing the hot corner and dealing with balls getting smashed his way at like 100mph and only 100 feet away, Beltre doesn’t wear a cup because they’re uncomfortable. While Beltre may have gotten by until this point, he finally got burned in Wednesday night’s 14-inning game against the White Sox.

Manager Don Wakamatsu said the Gold Glove third baseman is out indefinitely, and might need surgery because of bleeding in a testicle. Beltre does not wear a protective cup because he says it’s uncomfortable. If Beltre needs surgery, he could be out for an extended time. If there’s no surgery, he would need 10 days to two weeks to recover.
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Beltre stayed in the game after the ninth-inning injury and scored the winning run in the Mariners’ 1-0 victory 14 innings. “It hurt pretty bad,” Beltre said. “It was hurting me pretty much the whole game after that.

Man, I even saw Beltre do the postgame interview on FSN Northwest despite the injury. I’m sorry he had to go through that painful injury but hopefully he learned his lesson and will wear a cup from now on. I can’t believe he never got burned before considering he plays third base. Or maybe he only got burned this time because he’s a long ball guy.

If you ask Red Wings fans why they lost the Stanley Cup Finals to the Penguins, many of them will tell you it’s because the team wasn’t at full strength. Star players Pavel Datsyuk and Nicklas Lidstrom both got hurt in the Western Conference Finals against the Blackhawks. Datsyuk missed the first four games against Pittsburgh while Lidstrom did play the entire series, albeit through pain. While Lidstrom’s injury was initially described as a “lower-body injury,” we now know what the truth was. Channeling Felix Pie’s twisted testicle with the Cubs, Lidstrom had some problems with “the boys”:

While teammates played Game 4 against Chicago, Red Wings defenseman Nicklas Lidstrom was undergoing surgery after getting speared in the testicles by Patrick Sharp in Game 3.

“I thought it was OK that Saturday when I practiced,” Lidstrom said, “but Sunday, Sunday I was just in too much pain. I had surgery during that game.”

Lidstrom said he would need more tests, but more surgery probably would not be needed. He said it was the most painful injury he has had.

The Wings won both games against Chicago without him, advancing to the Stanley Cup Finals. They also were 2-2 against the Pens even without Datsyuk, so they still were in position to win even with their injuries. No doubt having both guys healthy would have helped, but they still blew it. Look, I can understand why guys like Lidstrom and Kellen Winslow wanted to keep their manhood issues quiet, but let me ask one thing: have you ever heard of a cup before? Yeah, how bout trying one next time. I hear they’re quite effective.

Much like Ken Griffey Jr. who suffered an injury to his nuts recently, Felix Pie is also hurting in the family jewels. The dude apparently missed a few games this spring because of one odd injury — he was out with has been described as a “twisted testicle.” No joke. From the Cubs’ official site, where they talked about Alfonso Soriano’s injury:

The Cubs have had a variety of injuries this spring. So far, infielder Mark DeRosa was hospitalized with an irregular heartbeat, pitcher Jose Ascanio had a bruised face after getting punched in a robbery attempt, and outfielder Felix Pie missed a couple of days early because of a twisted testicle. Third baseman Aramis Ramirez remains sidelined with a sore right shoulder.

Yes, you caught that correctly. I know sometimes I’ve got the boys a little out of place and sat on em by accident, and let me tell you, it was no pleasure. I can see how painful this may have been for Mr. Pie. Hopefully his teammates were nothing but supportive in his time of need. One thing though, I wonder how Felix feels about this getting out to the masses. This reminds me of the time when Ravens’ receiver Derrick Mason was on the injury report for diarrhea. There are some things the medical staffs just need to keep to themselves, and that would be one of them.

(via Fornelli’s Untangled Foul Balls)