O.J. Halloween Masks Won’t Be Sold

Damn, my entire costume plans, down the drain. The ‘eff am I gonna do now? I was really banking on sporting a polo and some makeshift manboobs, and just topping it off with a mask of The Juice. No such luck, however. Ben Maller informs me via the New York Post that OJ masks will be hard to come by this Halloween:

ABRACADABRA sells plenty of Halloween costumes that are in bad taste, but it draws the line at O.J. Simpson masks. “We wouldn’t even think of it. Sometimes you have to take a stand,” said co-owner Robert Pinzon. But other questionable getups are fine. They include a presidential Hillary Clinton dressed in a man’s suit and puffing on a big cigar; Bill Clinton in drag as the first lady; Rudy Giuliani with a cellphone glued to his ear; and Al Gore with sweat pouring off his face and dancing with a polar bear.

Now someone explain to me why OJ doesn’t make the cut? They’re completely inhibiting my October experience, I hope they realize. And in other news, The Juice at least made the cut for being one of the state’s most wanted tax evaders. No surprise, right? Well, maybe this will get you — he joins Sinbad on the list. How ’bout that?

Other OJ Simpson Madness:
OJ Rocks a Fake Watch
Juice, Busted for Memorabilia Heist
Down Goes the Juice, Down Goes OJ!
You can Buy OJ’s Not-Guilty Suit