Back in November, New York Jets tight end Kellen Winslow Jr. was found to be in possession of synthetic marijuana outside a Target store in New Jersey. That is now officially the most boring part of the story from the day of his encounter with police. On Friday, Dom Cosentino of NJ.com cited court documents that make mention of masturbation in a vehicle, Boston Market, and empty containers labeled “Mr. Happy” and “Funky Monkey.”
According to the incident report from Nov. 19 at 5:30 p.m., police were called to the Target parking lot when a woman claimed she saw Winslow masturbating in his car. The woman claimed in the redacted report that she had parked next to a black Cadillac Escalade and a man, later identified as Winslow, was sitting in the car with the window down.
“As she exited her vehicle, she commented to the male regarding how cold it was,” the report said. “As she stood near the open driver side window of the Escalade, she observed the males [sic] erect penis. She stated that she believed he was masturbating. [The woman] provided a written statement regarding her account.”
Winslow reportedly sprang to an upright position when a police officer approached his window. When the officer asked what he was up to, Winslow allegedly told him he was looking for a Boston Market restaurant but had gotten lost. He was “slouched in his seat and moving around,” but the cop said Winslow’s genitals were not exposed.
Next, the officer said he noticed plastic bags marked “Mr. Happy” and empty containers labeled “Funky Monkey” scattered throughout Winslow’s vehicle. When asked about those, Winslow allegedly told police that he bought the stuff at a gas station and smoked it at home because the NFL doesn’t drug test for it and it helps him relax. Police say he then consented to a vehicle search and was free to go after a few items were taken.
Lab results came back on Dec. 23 that revealed Winslow was in possession of synthetic marijuana. He was charged on Dec. 30 and has plead not guilty. While the incident report listed lewdness among the alleged crimes, Winslow was not charged with anything of the sort.
Allegedly trashing a rental home in California doesn’t look so bad now, does it?
Winslow’s rep later issued a statement saying the tight end was simply changing his clothes when the woman saw him, not JO’ing.
“Kellen pulled over to a parking lot to smoke what he thought at the time was a legal substance,” the statement read. “He changed his clothes in his vehicle as to not smell like smoke when he returned home. There was absolutely nothing inappropriate that took place and if there was police would have investigated further and charged Kellen which they did not. This will be the only time we will comment on this unfounded and ridiculous claim.”
Also see: Boston Market sends great message to Kellen Winslow Jr after cop incident
Also see: Kellen Winslow masturbating now in GIF form
