Some People Are Just Afraid of Bongs

Between the DUI at age 19 and now this picture of him clearing a chamber, I’d say Michael Phelps needs to start exercising better judgment. I can’t criticize anything he’s accomplished in the pool, but when he acts like a young kid at a party with other young kids, what does he expect is going to happen? Putting the bong down for a second, the media coverage of this incident is pretty hilarious. Here are the headlines for the Phelps story on several mainstream sports sites. In order from the top, it’s SI, CBS Sports, SportingNews.com, Yahoo! Sports, and ESPN. Now which is the most awkward sounding?

OK, first of all, pot always sounds much better than marijuana. Chances are half the people writing the headlines or working on those stories have smoked pot, or even do so occasionally, so who are they kidding? Secondly, who the eff refers to something as a marijuana pipe? A crack pipe, sure. But a marijuana pipe? Oh, you mean a bong? Ahh, I see. Why be so PC like you’re Jim’s dad from American Pie making things all awkward? Just be straight with the public. As for Phelps, I doubted that it was even him in the photo. Why didn’t he just deny it all? It’s not like they got a straight on shot of his face, you know? By the way, this explains why he’s so tight Warren Sapp!