Everybody loves the Red Mamba. Except the Red Mamba’s iPhone, apparently.
Free agent forward Matt Bonner just took weird sports injuries to the next level, blaming his iPhone 6 for causing an elbow injury that hindered his shooting last season with the San Antonio Spurs.
Bonner spoke with The Concord Monitor over the weekend:
“You’re about to get an exclusive here. I hate to make excuses, I was raised to never make excuses, but I went through a two-and-a-half month stretch where I had really bad tennis elbow, and during that stretch it made it so painful for me to shoot I’d almost be cringing before I even caught the ball like, ‘Oh, this is going to kill.’
“Everybody is going to find this hilarious, but here’s my theory on how I got it. When the new iPhone came out it was way bigger than the last one, and I think because I got that new phone it was a strain to use it, you have to stretch further to hit the buttons, and I honestly think that’s how I ended up developing it.”
The best part is that this doesn’t even seem too farfetched. The iPhone 6 was definitely a behemoth on the level of George Costanza’s wallet compared to its predecessors. And Bonner seems like the type to spend hours on it, either playing Clash of Clans or scouring the Web for the best local sandwich joints.
A known 3-point sniper for much his career, something was certainly off with Bonner’s shot last season. He shot 36.5 percent from deep in 2014-15, well below his career average of 41.4 percent. His 46.2 percent conversion rate on two-pointers also marked a career low. Bonner was a complete non-factor in the Spurs’ first-round defeat to the Clippers, averaging a pitiful 0.9 points per game and 0.9 rebounds per game in just 5.1 minutes per game.
Congratulations, Apple. You ruined the Red Mamba. Great job.
The good news is that the supposed injury was to Bonner’s left (non-shooting) elbow. He remains optimistic that it won’t becoming a lingering problem, telling The Concord Monitor, “I’m not too worried about it. I know I can still shoot.”
Bonner still has yet to sign with a team this offseason. With the Spurs bolstering their power forward rotation with the signings of LaMarcus Aldridge and David West, Bonner’s San Antonio future is completely up in the air. I know a team though with a pressing need in the frontcourt and an owner with a well-known distaste for Apple products. Maybe the Los Angeles Clippers ought to dial the Red Mamba’s number.
All in all, Matt Bonner’s “iPhone elbow” is definitely one of the more humerus sports injuries we’ve seen in a while. Take a look at all the other ones we’ve covered here at LBS.
H/T Rolling Stone
