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Marcus Jordan sacked by the LBS Nut Bag for arrest, smiling in mug shot

Marcus Jordan is in the news again, but this time it’s not for accidentally propositioning an adult film star over Twitter. Instead, Jordan was arrested early Sunday morning for causing a disturbance in front of an Omaha, Neb. hotel. He was in town to watch friend Conor Dwyer compete in the Olympic Swim Trials.

According to a police account given to the Omaha World-Herald, Jordan was approached by an off-duty police officer who was working security for the hotel at about 2:10 a.m. on Sunday morning. Jordan reportedly was “arguing with two females in the hotel driveway and appeared to be very intoxicated.”

The police say Jordan became uncooperative when approached and that multiple “officers were needed to control and handcuff him.”

Obviously he settled down by the time it came to take the mug shot, because he threw on quite the cheeser for it. Let’s also give him credit for making the glasses look cool before Russell Westbrook. But between underage partying in Las Vegas, tweeting porn stars, and getting arrested, Jordan has more than earned his sacking.

Justin Blackmon sacked by the LBS Nut Bag for getting DUI, 0.24 BAC

There are ways to get DUIs, and there are ways to get DUIs. Justin Blackmon is only 22, but he’s already doing his best to hit all ends of the spectrum.

The Jaguars’ first-round draft pick received his second DUI when police pulled him over on Sunday for driving 25 mph over the speed limit. He blew a 0.24 on his first test — three times the legal limit — and a 0.26 on his second test.

Here are the details of Sunday’s arrest per the Tulsa World:

About 3 a.m., a Stillwater police officer saw a white Chevy Tahoe make an improper turn, travel 60 mph in a 35 mph zone and drive left of center twice, according to the affidavit. The vehicle failed to yield for four blocks before stopping at a gas-station parking lot near the intersection of McElroy and Perkins roads.

The officer observed the driver, identified as Blackmon, was unsteady on his feet, had slurred speech and glassy and blood-shot eyes, according to the police report.

Blackmon pleaded not guilty to the aggravated DUI charge on Monday, and he faces up to one year in jail and up to a $1,000 fine. He shouldn’t get off without a severe penalty considering this is his second DUI, and his last one occurred when he was under 21 and doing 92 in a 65 zone.

Let’s take a look at his mug shots, which show he’s gotten increasingly more angry over the years:

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Julian Edelman Sacked by the LBS Nut Bag for Dressing Like Cop, Getting Arrested

Of every Halloween that ever existed, Patriots receiver Julian Edelman picked the one where he’d be arrested to dress up as a cop. Honestly, sometimes the jokes just write themselves.

Edelman was arrested for indecent assault outside of a club early Tuesday. He allegedly reached under a woman’s Halloween costume and grabbed her in an inappropriate place (what, like the back of a Volkswagen?). He denies trying to touch the woman and has pleaded not guilty to assault and battery charges.

That had to be an uncomfortable moment for Edelman — getting interviewed by the police while dressed like an officer. Could he have picked a worse time to dress like that? And isn’t getting felt up by an officer part of the costume? Guess somebody didn’t think so. Besides, I always knew he had questionable hands.

Fist pound to Barstool Sports

Cristiano Ronaldo Sacked by the LBS Nut Bag for Being Ridiculously Good Looking

Cristiano Ronaldo is handsome. He is rich. He is also one of the best soccer players in the world. But you know what bro? Just because you have a lot going for you doesn’t mean you have to remind others of it.

The Real Madrid player spoke after a recent game against Dinamo Zagreb and touched on the reasons why he felt the Croatian crowd was nasty towards him.

“Yo creo que es porque soy guapo, rico y un gran jugador y me tienen envidia,” he told reporters.

That translates to: I believe [the crowd gave me problems] because I am handsome, rich, and a great player, and they’re jealous of me.

That may be the case, but taking the A-Rod approach against heckling fans is not a good idea. Pointing out everything you have that others don’t is only going to make the haters hate you even more. Bad move, Ronaldo.

Pablo Sandoval Sacked by the LBS Nut Bag for His Waxy Look

Pablo Sandoval does not have a wax figure but that doesn’t mean he can’t look like one. The Giants had a day off Monday and Kung Fu Panda decided to get a makeover. He asked his twitter followers for haircut suggestions and opted for corn rows. The barber may also have doubled as a beautician because Pablo ended up with the worst eyebrow wax job I’ve seen.

Seriously, I can’t tell if Sandoval had those brows drawn on, painted on, stenciled on, or what, because he just doesn’t look right. If you told me that was a picture of a new Pablo Sandoval wax figure at Fisherman’s Wharf, I totally would have believed it. He looks more plastic than the Barry Bonds wax statue.

Is he wearing foundation? Eye shadow? Lipstick? If I didn’t know any better, I’d say he was trying out for a role in the sequel to The Birdcage. Yikes!

Picture via Sandoval’s twitter account, story via 22 Gigantes

Michael Beasley Sacked by the LBS Nut Bag for Speeding, Weed Possession

If there’s anything to be said about timing, Michael Beasley knew what he was doing when he was cited for possession of marijuana after being pulled over for speeding last week in Minnesota.  Officers found a little more than a half-ounce of weed in his car — grass he said belonged to a friend — and Beasley was cited and released.

While he is still more than worthy of being sacked by the LBS Nut Bag like his peers before him, Beasley picked a perfect time to get caught.  Since the NBA is currently amidst a lockout, there is no substance abuse policy in place as NBA spokesman Tim Frank pointed out to the Sun Sentinel on Thursday.  While the NFL has implied it will still punish players following the lockout for breaking league rules during the lockout, it is unclear whether or not they will legally be able to do so.  In other words, until the labor agreement is worked out professional athletes have no one to run from but the police.

Photo Credit: IamaGM.com

Bryce Harper Sacked by the LBS Nut Bag for Blowing Pitcher Kiss After Home Run

Bryce Harper is a wildly talented ballplayer, someone who’s beautiful swing and natural power rivals that of Josh Hamilton. He has the rare talent to be able to hit four home runs in a single junior college game. When you’re as good as he is, your bat does your talking. Unfortunately the immature and cocky youngster thinks he needs to prove his worth with on-field taunts, which is quite frankly, sad.

Harper bashed his 14th home run of the season for the Hagerstown Suns Monday evening and felt the need to show up the opposing pitcher. Harper admired his home run and then when opposing pitcher Zach Neal said something to him about it, Harper responded with an air kiss. Here’s the video of Bryce Harper pimping his home run then blowing a kiss:

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