Arizona Bullpen Catcher Jeff Motuzas Will Do Anything for Money

When you were in high school, did you have a kid in your class who would do anything for money and/or attention?  Most people did.  I certainly did.  This kid — let’s call him Jimmie — got into about a two-month long rhythm of snorting any food product we put in front of him to make a couple bucks.  I’m talking Cheez-its, apple juice, potato chips, Hostess cream filling, Fun Dip, you name it.  Guess what?  Jimmie has nothing on Arizona Diamondbacks bullpen catcher Jeff Motuzas.

According to the Wall Street Journal, via Ben Maller, Motuzas will do just about anything for money.  In fact, the self-proclaimed “responsible father” of two and family man claims his willingness to pull off insane and disgusting stunts has helped pay for two mortgages and raise money for his sons’ college funds.

Motuzas has supplemented his modest salary (estimated to be less than $60,000) by accepting challenges to eat monster boogers and concoctions consisting of three-day old chili and tobacco spit.  He’s also been shot at close range with a BB gun, punched in the groin repeatedly, and dry shaved his armpits and applied medicinal hot balm on the skin for an entire game.

“Tooz will eat anything except poop, urine and vomit,” Diamondbacks reliever Sam Demel said. “No, wait—I’m sorry. He will eat vomit.”

Demel corrected himself because he remembered the time Motuzas ate regurgitated yogurt.  Here is a list of some of the things Motuzas has done.  This goes way beyond the concept of baseball pranks.

-Ate regurgitated Yogurt
-Ate Skoal right out of the can
-Ate 11 bananas in four minutes
-Ate two live moths
-Ate six cream-filled donuts in two minutes
-Whipped with rubber nunchucks
-Shot in the earlobe with a BB gun
-Punched in the groin repeatedly
-Snorted wasabi

There’s no denying all of that is hardcore, but don’t be fooled into thinking Motuzas is just a doormat.  He was paid $3,000 to drink a whole gallon of milk in 12 minutes.  Livan Hernandez gave him $50 per nut punch and a $300 bonus for every tenth punch.  He was paid $400 to eat the booger.  You can see where this is going.  Motuzas is a savvy business man.  If I had the stomach for it and that kind of money was being dangled in front of me, I’d do the exact same thing.