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#pounditThursday, March 28, 2024

Jared Allen: If I Had to Live in Detroit, I Think I’d Drown Myself in the River

We all know Jared Allen has never been shy about speaking his mind.  After all, this is the guy who once offered his butt to Brett Favre and thought “schism” was an STD.  Allen may have outdone himself this time.  The Vikings are traveling to Detroit this weekend to take on the Lions, and apparently Allen is dreading the trip.

“I don’t like going to Detroit,” he said according to MLive.com. “I’ll be honest, it’s gloomy, it sucks. Everything is brown and then there is snow on the ground. There’s like Brownstones everywhere and I’m like, ‘Awesome.’ I don’t know, I couldn’t do it. If I had to live in Detroit, I think I’d just drown myself in the river that was across the way.

“I’m not trying to be mean, but it’s just depressing when I go there. There’s two cities like I don’t go out to eat or don’t do anything. It’s Detroit and New Orleans. New Orleans looks like I’m driving through a third-world country every time I get off the plane, I’m like, ‘Oh, flak jacket.’ I’m trying to get down. I’m like, ‘Ah, crap, I can’t carry my gun here. This sucks.'”

Yikes.  That’s some pretty intense smack talk about a lot of people right there.  Plenty of people have said that Detroit isn’t exactly a nice city, but never can I remember an athlete being that cruel about it.  As for New Orleans: well, they just suffered one of the worst natural disasters in American history a few years back.  Perhaps they are still picking up the pieces.  Whatever the case, it would appear Allen doesn’t give a damn.

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