Alternate title: 756th ball to make it to Hall before Bonds (ever does …). Perhaps it’s fitting that it’s worked out this way, given the fact that, you know, Barry Bonds juiced to get the record. Bonds is right to say that Marc Ecko is an idiot — I’m not sure what other sane person would come up with the idea to try and brand a ball with an asterisk, much less pay $752,467 for it. Now Gilbert Arenas on the other hand, who wanted to buy the ball back from Ecko, would have been an even bigger idiot for spending serious bucks to rescue the ball. Anyway, after going back and forth with the Hall, Ecko has agreed to give the ball to Cooperstown for good, asterisk and all.

I’m not one for defacing baseball history, but like I’ve said, the asterisk on the ball is a perfect reflection of the mockery Barry made of the record. You don’t just go from being a 30 and 40 home run hitter to belting 60 and 70 like nothing, even if you have matured and developed as a hitter. Whatever. I think it’s pretty comical too that the Hall is accepting the ball in whatever condition they get it. About the only thing that would make this entire scenario perfect, would be for Bonds to be picked up by some team this year for a few games and be dropped at the end of the season. Then, both Bonds and Kent would retire from the game, and five years from now, Jeff Kent would get into the Hall while Bonds would be left out. As my buddy Casey suggested, that would be the ultimate, enjoyable irony.

Since nobody’s interested in picking up the slugger, he’s gotta figure out new ways to occupy his time. Apparently Baroid has figured out what to do in between curls at the gym and hacks at the cages. As AJ mentioned at Deadspin, Barry’s now making cameos in music videos. Check him out around the 0:45 mark:

I’m sure you’re all more interested in the cameo by my cousin, Chris Brown, but seeing Barry in a music vid is pretty funny. Of course when it comes to athletes making music video appearances, nothing tops TJ Cummings in Missy Elliot’s Work it vid. One day we’re seeing him score 15 in a UCLA basketball game, next thing you know he’s the it thang for Missy. Weird how things work.

I’m not really into wax museums. I mean honestly, what do they really have to offer? Chances are you’ve seen everyone in the freaking museum on TV at the least, so what’s the point? Anyway, there’s a wax museum at Fisherman’s Wharf in San Francisco (shamefully, I think I’ve actually been there when I was younger), and Barry Bonds was an integral part of the museum. Key word: was. Apparently some shifting and rearranging has been going on and real Barry would not be pleased with the treatment of wax Barry:

On Thursday, Brad Pitt and Angelina Jolie took the home run king’s prime lobby spot while he settled into a new life downstairs, next to his godfather, Willie Mays, and nine other sports heroes.

“We’re moving him because he’s not signed with the team for this season,” said museum curator Curtis Huber. “I don’t have a crystal ball but, if I did, I’d say his career is over. And for our purposes, he’s done everything he’s going to do as a San Francisco Giant.”

That’s how you know your career is truly over — when your wax figure gets moved from its prominent spot in the lobby to downstairs with the rest of the exhibit. Interestingly enough, that seems to be exactly what’s happened with Barry’s career. From front-and-center in baseball news the past several years to all of a sudden an afterthought in the back of people’s minds. Perhaps we’re all better off that way.

You always knew there was a possibility, as remote as it may seem. With nobody paging Jeff Borris to inquire about Baroid this off-season, the agent threw it out there that his unemployed client could be headed to the Far East to play ball in Japan. I’m sure it was meant more as a joke than a threat, but nevertheless, the idea is quite humorous.

“He’s not retiring,” Bonds’ agent, Jeff Borris, told Metro yesterday. “He intends to play somewhere. If a door doesn’t open for Barry in the major leagues, as unbelievable as that possibility sounds, then Japan certainly is an option.”

It’s amazing how hard they’re trying to find Bonds some work. Just this week a story hit the wire reminding folks that Barry’s services were still available. As suggested in the article, it’s quite possible that Bonds is being blackballed from the game. Whether it’s unspoken and subtly insinuated by Bud Selig is unclear, but we do know that it’s already Spring Training and Bonds does not have a job. Japan? I would die to see it. And let’s not forget that Barry actually does have a job offer on the table.

If you were down with LBS going back a few months, you know that I was all over the upcoming indictment of Bonds. I said the feds were getting close to indicting him back in July, and also speculated that President Bush could have had something to do with it. For quite some time, I’ve had the inkling that Bonds was going to get indicted, and that Major League Baseball knew it was coming as well. All those questions about Bud Selig being reluctant to attend Barry’s record-breaking game? It’s because Selig didn’t want to be associated with a player guilty of federal crimes.

So if Bonds is facing several charges of obstruction of justice and perjury, how can he be lucky? That’s easy: MLB allowed him to break the record. I have no doubt that they waited until the offseason to indict Barry. They could have brought these charges about in the summer before Barry broke the record. In fact, parts of me (OK fine, all of me) wanted them to indict Barry on his way to the batter’s box, stuck on 755. They were generous for holding off on the indictment until now. They got their investigation extended months ago, meaning they had a strong case all along. So why wait until now? Because they didn’t want to mar the season. I couldn’t think of a more appropriate ending to Bonds’ career. And yes, unless he goes to the Independent Wild Things, he’s done forever. Alas, justice may be served!