George Brett once pooped his pants and told the story about it (Video)

George Brett once shared one of the greatest stories you will ever hear a Hall of Fame baseball player tell, and I will do my part to make sure as many people as possible hear about it.

I happened to be out with my dad and sister last night and we were talking late ’80s/early ’90s baseball since the last time my sister followed MLB was back when Ryne Sandberg and Mark Grace were manning the right side of the Chicago Cubs’ infield. One name that came up was George Brett, so naturally I had to ask whether they had seen this great video. They had not. Make sure you do.

Brett was hanging out with the Royals one spring training and decided to volunteer to one of the players that he sh-t his pants the night before. Brett, who stated that he’s good for pooping his pants about twice a year, then broke into a story about the time he crapped his pants at the Bellagio in Las Vegas a few years earlier.

The whole story is so brown it’s golden.

George Brett shit himself story

Brett says he got food poisoning from some crabs at a steakhouse and was unable to control his bowels while walking through the hotel. He called a friend to come help him and had to describe the exact spot in the hotel where he was standing because he was afraid of moving any further lest more crap come out. The friend brought him a towel and pair of pants. They went to a bathroom where George toweled off, left his clothes behind and walked through the hotel barefoot in some size 48-inch waist pants.

Think about how awesome that video is. You’ve got some poor player who obviously feels uncomfortable about the whole thing — so uncomfortable that he moves away — and Brett follows him to finish telling the story. It’s like the guy’s as proud of this story as he is about his 1980 MVP award.

What’s truly incredible is that of all the incredible details Brett shares, the way he ends it has to be the peak.

“Got up in the morning, took the most perfect double-tapered sh-t I’ve ever taken in my life. True story.”

Hang on, what the heck is a double-tapered deuce? I’d never heard that before Brett.

After Brett coins the term “double-tapered sh-t,” which by the way has made it into the Urban Dictionary, he then transitions to real baseball in the most casual manner possible.

“Who’s the pitchers in this game?”

George Brett, who poops his pants, just wants to know who’s pitching in the game. Great way to wrap up this story,. Brett.

Seriously, though, how awesome was that tale? It’s so amazing it needs to be added to Brett’s Hall of Fame plaque in Cooperstown:

“George Brett, 13-time All-Star, 1980 MVP Award winner, led the league in hitting three times and had one of the purest swings in baseball. A corner infield who spent his entire career playing for the Kansas City Royals, Brett is good for sh-tting his pants twice a year.”

I wonder what happened with the clothes he left behind in the bathroom. You think those made it onto eBay? I mean it’d be easy to DNA test and authenticate them as the real defecated clothes. I’d buy ‘em. I’d frame ‘em and toss ‘em in my living room and tell everyone that these here are the clothes George Brett was wearing the night he sh-t himself in the Bellagio. Heck, I’d pay more money for those than his pine tar bat.

Someone later created an autotone version of the story. That is below.

Hit song ‘Royals’ may have been inspired by George Brett

George-Brett-Hall-of-Fame-SteroidsLast month, some St. Louis Cardinals fans created a version of Lorde’s hit song “Royals” that changed the words around to create a baseball parody. Lorde, who was born in New Zealand, is obviously singing about “Royals” in the political sense, right? Yes, but that doesn’t mean baseball had nothing to do with it.

As Lisa Gutierrez of the Kansas City Star pointed out, Lorde recently revealed in an interview with VH1 that an image of a Kansas City Royals player inspired her to write a song called “Royals.”

There’s no denying the fact that ‘Royals’ has seized the zeitgeist. And speaking of that track, Lorde herself recently spoke to us about how the song was inspired in part with her obsession with historic monarchs and, strangely enough, by an image of a baseball player wearing a Kansas City Royals jersey in National Geographic.

In that interview, Lorde explained how she “had this image from the National Geographic of this dude just signing baseballs. He was a baseball player and his shirt said, ‘Royals.’

‘It was just that word. It’s really cool.'”

Hardball Talk reader @LBTross did some digging and discovered that the photo Lorde was referring to is likely this shot of George Brett, which shows the Kansas City legend surrounded by kids who are waiting for autographs.

Ironically enough, this is the same George Brett who was recently caught on video going off on an autograph seeker. These artists really do get their inspiration from all kinds of places.

George Brett goes off on autograph seeker: ‘I’m gonna shoot your f—ing ass’ (Video)

George-Brett-Hall-of-Fame-SteroidsMLB Hall of Famer George Brett lost his patience with an autograph seeker when his flight arrived at Kansas City International Airport on Wednesday. The man who was looking for the autograph, Brandon Farrens, recorded the exchange on his phone.

“This is the f—ing last time,” Brett told Farrens while reluctantly signing. “If I ever see you f—ing again I’m gonna shoot your f—ing ass, you understand? This is the last f—ing time. Ever.”

In an interview with KCTV5 in Kansas City, Farrens admitted that he has asked Brett for his signature roughly 35 times and gotten it about 15. He considers himself an autograph collector and has sold Brett’s signature in the past.

“All he had to say was, ‘no’ or ignore me,” Farrens said.

Farrens could be heard in the video swearing back at Brett. When the Kansas City Royals legend walked away, Farrens called him an “a–hole.”

Toby Cook, a spokesman for the Royals, told KCTV5 that Brett regrets his usage of profanity and the tone of the encounter but not the message. He wants to be left alone by the fan, who Cook says has been “relentless” with his demands.

The real mistake Brett made, in my opinion, was telling Farrens he was going to shoot him. Other than that, you can understand why he was angry and used profanity. Autograph seekers can be incredibly annoying. It comes with the territory of being a Hall of Famer, but it seems excessive for the same fan to seek an autograph nearly three dozen times. Everyone has a boiling point.

H/T With Leather

George Brett finds his lost dog with the help of Twitter

Those of us who work in sports have a love-hate relationship with Twitter. On one hand, it’s the fastest way to get breaking news, unique stories, and fantastic material from athletes and celebrities. On the other hand, it’s also a great source of completely bogus information and constant confusion. On Wednesday, George Brett demonstrated another reason why we should be happy Twitter was created.

As Eye on Baseball called to our attention, Brett asked his Twitter followers for help early Wednesday morning in finding his missing black labradoodle, Charlie:

After the tweet was retweeted and replied to several times, Brett tweeted at around 9 a.m. EST Wednesday morning that Charlie had been found:

It’s unclear exactly how Brett got the dog back, but he said Twitter was a big help. And here we were thinking Twitter only created the most embarrassing moments in people’s lives.

Royals had a George Brett pine tar bat giveaway against Yankees (Picture)

The Royals had one of the best giveaways of the season over the weekend. Kansas City hosted the Yankees for a four-game series at Kauffman Stadium, and they handed out George Brett pine tar bats to the first 20,000 fans in the stadium on Saturday.

The promotion was a reference to the infamous “Pine Tar Game” on July 24, 1983. Brett, a Hall of Fame player for the Royals, homered off Goose Gossage to give KC a 5-4 lead over the Yankees in the 9th inning. The Yankees appealed to the umpire to examine the bat and it was determined Brett had pine tar more than 18 inches from the knob. Brett was called out for using an illegal bat, and he burst out of the dugout fuming with rage. The call was later overturned on an appeal, and the Royals won when it was completed the next month.

The play was one of the most notable moments in MLB history, and the Royals played off it well. I’m just surprised they distributed all those mini bats; I thought teams didn’t do that anymore because of safety concerns over drunk people and kids using them as weapons.

H/T Darren Rovell
Photo Credit: Joe Rybnick

George Brett says Hall of Famers would boycott Hall of Fame if steroid user gets in

To date, there are no Hall of Famers among the ever-increasing list of known steroid users who currently play or once played in the MLB. Some of the game’s biggest names like Alex Rodriguez and Mark McGwire have admitted they used performance-enhancing drugs, while others like Barry Bonds and Roger Clemens continue to fight to prove their innocence. As we know, voters have not come close to letting McGwire in the Hall of Fame because of it. What will happen with the others when their time comes remains to be seen, but Hall of Famer George Brett says voters would be wise to steer clear of anyone whose name is tied to PEDs.

“I wasn’t a home-run hitter,” Brett said according to the Arizona Republic, “but I know from talking to guys in the 500-home run club, guys like Schmitty (Mike Schmidt) and some other guys like that, if those guys make it in then they’ll never go back. Meaning those guys will never go back and attend (the Hall of Fame inductions) if the cheaters get elected.”

If you ask Jose Canseco, there’s just one minor problem with Brett’s theory: A steroid user is already in the Hall of Fame. Canseco, who has a solid reputation for telling the truth when it comes to PED usage, said more than two years ago that Major League Baseball is going to have a big problem on its hands when they find out that a current Hall of Famer used steroids. At the time we speculated that it could be Rickey Henderson or a few other former teammates of Canseco’s, and anyone would be extremely naive to think that it’s not possible or likely.

Brett also said that A-Rod should not get into the Hall of Fame just because he came clean and that he should have gone about it like Jason Giambi and Andy Pettite did. As Craig Calcaterra of Hardball Talk mentioned, how was Rodriguez’s confession any different? Either you’re willing to make amends for guys who admitted it or you’re not.

If you believe both Brett and Canseco, the Hall of Fame could be facing a major dilemma at some point in the near future.