Larry Brown Sports

Brooklyn Nets fans who are expecting big things from their team in the post-New Jersey era can rest assured knowing that the team’s owner feels the same. Mikhail Prokhorov expects the Nets to win a championship in the very near future. The Nets owner has vowed to deliver for the fans since he took over more than two years ago, and he took it a step further during a recent interview with Steve Serby of the NY Post.

“I have said that if the Nets don’t win the NBA championship within five years, I will punish myself by getting married,” Prokhorov said when asked if marriage is something he would consider one day. “We are in year three. So no one is more interested in winning a championship than yours truly.”

As for what he would be looking for in a woman if he were to be so unlucky, Prokhorov said the following.

“Beautiful, smart, sexy and makes a mean bowl of borscht.”

Although he clearly does not want to get married, it sounds like the Nets owner has very specific standards for what he is looking for in a wife. Prokhorov also confirmed that he will not be fulfilling this promise during the same interview, so who knows if he will really take the plunge should the Nets not win a title within the next few seasons.

When asked how soon he expects the Nets to win a championship, Prokhorov said “June.” Retaining Deron Williams and adding Joe Johnson should help, but I don’t think it makes the Nets better than the Heat or Celtics at the moment. Unless Brooklyn can prove it is better than those teams and others before the end of the 2014-2015 season, some lucky lady could be marrying into a boatload of money.

H/T SbB Live

Mikhail Prokhorov has associated himself with the rap game for reasons beyond simply sharing ownership of the Nets with Jay-Z. Over the winter, a video surfaced that featured Prokhorov rapping with three other middle-aged Russian men. It was equal parts awful and awesome.

The $1 billion Barclays Center — the new home of the Brooklyn Nets — is set to open this fall and Jay-Z is planning to introduce the new venue to the world with a series of eight concerts in nine days. For obvious reasons, people want to know if Prokhorov will somehow be incorporated into the show. According to Daniel Massey of Crain’s New York Business (via Nets Daily), he says he is planning on it.

“Yes, I will rap at his concert,” Prokhorov wrote in an email. “I am in rehearsals now 10 hours a day and plan to demand joint billing.”

The brilliant rap put together by “Russian Federation” as they called it was dedicated to “Mr. Jay-Z.” I think it’s safe to assume Prokhorov isn’t rehearsing for 10 hours a day, but we can still keep our fingers crossed that he makes an appearance. We already know he has a tremendous sense of humor, so what better way to bring down the house and build the buzz about the new-look Nets than to have him take the mic? Make it happen.

H/T Ball Don’t Lie

Mark Cuban has one response to Mikhail Prokhorov’s promise to “crush” the Mavs owner in a kickboxing fight: not so fast my friend.

The Nets owner said he would fight Cuban over free agent-to-be Deron Williams, who is likely to express interest in Dallas, but Cuban cautions Prokhorov.

“He obviously didn’t see me be the first in WWE history to put Sheamus on the mat,” Cuban told Tim McMahon. “He knows not what he gets himself into.”

Cuban was referencing the guest host appearance he made on “Monday Night Raw” in 2009 when he was thrown out of the ring by Sheamus.

Cuban can talk a good game, and I’m sure he would go dark side in a fight, but I’ll still take my chances with the Russian.

Mikhail Prokhorov spoke to the media Tuesday at the construction site of the Barclays Center which will be the Nets’ new home in Brooklyn. Prokhorov has been somewhat of a mystery man since buying the team two years ago. Although he was initially vocal and present for some Nets games, he was consumed with running for presidency in Russia and became an absent figure. Luckily for us, he reignited his rivalry with Mark Cuban.

Asked about Mark Cuban’s Mavericks pursuing Nets point guard Deron Williams in free agency after the season, Prokhorov gave a classic response.

“Let the best man win. If he wins, I will crush him in kickboxing throwdown.”

I know Mark Cuban has a rugby background, and I don’t doubt his ability to fight dirty, but I’ll take the 6’8″ Russian in a clash. Can you just imagine if team conflicts were solved by opposing owners fighting in kickboxing throwdowns? It would be fantastic.

Between Cuban’s past comments about the Russian, and Prokhorov’s shot in return, there is no doubt this would be a heated affair.

Chest bump to Eye on Basketball
Photo Credits: Jim O’Connor-US PRESSWIRE, Jerome Miron-US PRESSWIRE

Since Mikhail Prokhorov has taken over as owner of the New Jersey Nets, he and Mavs owner Mark Cuban seem to have developed somewhat of a love-hate relationship.  The two teams aren’t rivals or anything, so the banter between them cannot be taken for much more than friendly word play.  In any event, the dynamic between them is entertaining.

Just a few short months after Prokhorov took the reins in New Jersey, Cuban was already criticizing the way he runs the team.  One of Cuban’s main issues with Mikhail’s style is that he rarely shows up to games.  As we told you before, the Nets seemed to play better in their owner’s presence, so Cuban may have been onto something.

Cuban remained unusually quiet throughout the entire postseason as he watched his Mavs go on to upset the Miami Heat and win the franchise’s first ever NBA Championship.  Finals MVP Dirk Nowitzki voiced his opinion about Marky Mark staying out of the spotlight during the run a few weeks back, and Prokhorov alluded to it as well on Thursday when he congratulated Cuban with a note.  Here is what the letter said courtesy of Nets Daily via SB Nation:

Read The Rest of the Story…

The New Jersey Nets are one of the worst teams in the Eastern Conference, checking in with a 12-31 record on the year. Team owner Mikhail Prokhorov recently went public to say the team was no longer focusing on acquiring Carmelo Anthony, feeling like the talks were distractions. Maybe the guy was right. Or maybe his mere physical, imposing presence scares his team into playing harder.

The Nets beat the Pistons at home Friday night 89-74 for just their 12th win. The Pierogi stuck around following his media conference to watch his boys play for the second straight game, and they showed their boss what they can do once again. New Jersey has now won two in a row, and as I learned from the Newark Star-Ledger, improved to 5-1 in home games attended by The Pierogi.

Most teams play well at home so it’s natural that Pierogi’s record would be better than the team’s, but 5-1 is still impressive. And if they can manage a win over the Mavericks Saturday evening, the X-ray machines at the airport will no doubt find a horseshoe up his butt before he flies home to Russia.

Either Mark Cuban and Mikhail Prokhorov are really good friends — the type of friends that can insult each other’s mommas without hard feelings — or Cuban has no respect for the Nets’ new owner.  Before the Mavericks handled the Nets on Thursday night, Cuban was asked about Prokhorov during his pregame workout in the locker room.  According to the NY Daily News, the Mavs’ owner didn’t speak highly of his Nets’ counterpart.

He’s a p—y,” Cuban quipped Thursday when asked about Prokhorov.

“(Prokhorov) doesn’t come to games,” Cuban said. “Who the hell knows? I think he recognizes that his job is progress more than rings right now. But you never know. If Prokhorov does what I did to try to make deals and get something before the trade deadline then all that changes. But, you know, building a true professional team means having to spend money. We just haven’t seen it.”

Though not surprising when taking into account some of his other antics, that’s some pretty harsh criticism from Cuban.  Prokhorov has vowed to build a championship team out of the Nets, but clearly Cuban’s not buying it.  As for whether or not he’s a (word that usually means someone who’s not tough and has no stones), I don’t know.

P.S. — We apologize for the slight vulgarity here at LBS today.  It’s just one of those days.