OJ Rocks a Folex, Fools the Goldmans

Pretty much every penny that OJ earns, he’s supposed to turn over to the Goldmans as part of a settlement for their civil suit, far as I can tell. So when the Goldmans see The Juice rocking some jewelry on his wrist, they want a cut. Problem is, what happens when that watch turns out to be a fake?

Santa Monica judge ordered the former football star to turn over his gold Rolex Submariner watch — estimated to be worth $12,000 to $22,000 — to the family.

But the Hall of Fame running back hit them with a fake — literally — when it was discovered that the luxury timepiece was a knockoff made in China, worth about $125.

Yikes! See, see, people? The guy really doesn’t have money. He’s just a poser! Either that, or he dropped some serious cash on a watch and was had. Either way, it just furthers OJ’s legend, and it really, really sucks for the Goldmans. I’d term the incident an embarrassment, but when it concerns OJ, is anything really an embarrassment at this point?

O.J.’s Voicemail Speaks

The guys over at SI.com’s Extra Mustard (they compile some of the best links of the day), put me onto the latest in the OJ scandal. Check out the madness on OJ’s home voicemail. Don’t ask me how they got it.

That’s not bad, but not quite as good as Randy Moss’ answering machine from last week, I’ll have to admit.

Just How Dumb is O.J. Simpson?

Honestly, how dumb is this guy? Are there really people on the planet more idiotic and unable to avoid trouble than him? If so, please tell me, because I don’t think it’s possible. In case you missed it over the weekend, OJ Simpson was arrested for breaking into the Palace Station Casino in Las Vegas to try and steal some sports memorabilia he claimed belonged to him. Dumbass. Now, (after escaping murder charges), the man could finally be heading to jail for an extended period of time:

Simpson was at the Clark County Detention Center on Sunday night for booking on two counts of robbery with a deadly weapon, two counts of assault with a deadly weapon, conspiracy to commit a crime and burglary with a firearm, police said. The district attorney, meanwhile, said he expected Simpson to ultimately be charged with seven felonies and one gross misdemeanor.

If convicted of the booking charges, Simpson would face up to 30 years in state prison on each robbery count alone.

My favorite part comes towards the end of the AP story, when they say OJ has been a tabloid staple for the last several years. Yeah, good call. So The Juice has been living above the law all this time, has it finally caught up to him? I guess that remains to be seen. I don’t think he deserves anything less than a hearty jail sentence. Amen to that.

(AP Photo/Isaac Brekken)

UPDATE: Per SpinMax in the comments, TMZ has must hear audio from The Juice.

Other OJ Simpson Madness:
Down Goes the Juice, Down Goes OJ!

You can Buy OJ’s Not-Guilty Suit

OJ Got Paid $50,000 for Pro Football 2K8 Game Appearance

Remember a few months ago when I shared with you the story of OJ Simpson appearing in a video game? It was for All-Pro Football 2K8, which doesn’t appear to have licensing from the NFLPA. Well, turns out the Juice got paid a handsome amount for allowing his character and name to appear in the game:

Take-Two Interactive paid former football star O.J. Simpson $50,000 for the right to use his likeness in the company’s controversial game All-Pro Football 2K8.

Simpson was paid $25,000 within 30 days of the contract being signed last January, with the rest scheduled to be paid within a month of the release of the game, according to a contract obtained by TheStreet.com between Take-Two and Justin Communications, which represented Simpson in the deal.

All-Pro Football 2K8 was released in July.

It’s quick to be pointed out that the money was probably turned over to the Goldman family. Hopefully that was the case. Regardless, it’s just an excellent excuse to remind you of OJ’s star-studded days with the LA Grim Reapers. If you haven’t seen the video clip from the game yet, do yourself a favor and check it out.

Other OJ Simpson Madness:
Down Goes the Juice, Down Goes OJ!

You can Buy OJ’s Not-Guilty Suit

Bad Idea to Have OJ Simpson Take Phone Calls on a TV Show

This only reminds me of the scene from Thank You for Smoking, where Nick Naylor and Senator Finistirre are debating on Dennis Miller’s Show. Dennis decides to open up the show to questions from phone callers, at which point, one proclaims he will kill Nick Naylor. Miller promptly goes to commercial break, saying he has to fire a call screener. That may or not have been the case here. Must see TV:

Chest Bump to Pacman Jonesin’ and Nyjer Please

Other OJ Simpson Madness:
Video Game Proof that OJ Did it
Down Goes the Juice, Down Goes OJ!
You can Buy OJ’s Not-Guilty Suit

Video Game Proof That OJ Is a Killer

The Hater Nation tips me off to this great video of OJ Simpson who apparently is a character in a football video game. Since I haven’t dominated football video games since Play Action Football on Nintendo back when I was in 1st grade, I don’t have much insight to offer. Luckily for me, Unsilent Majority fills me in:

You might have heard about this new game, All-Pro Football 2K8 (that’s gamer language for “Too Kate” — which I assume is a a tender dedication from the game’s programmer to e-lover). It’s the one that couldn’t get licensing from the NFL so they simply created their own fictional franchises and stocked the rosters with former NFL legends. While the game’s cover features such respectable citizens as John Elway, Jerry Rice, and Barry Sanders

Great, so there’s your background. Now, make sure you watch the clip all the way til the end. You don’t want to miss the final move.

The LA grim reapers with a sickle. Nice.

Other OJ Simpson Madness:

Down Goes the Juice, Down Goes OJ!
You can Buy OJ’s Not-Guilty Suit

Down Goes OJ, Down Goes OJ!

It didn’t take me writing this for you to know that the Juice was a disgusting crook, but I’m still going to mention it because it’s an extra detail. This guy is sick. Very sick. Remember a while back when he was about to release a book and appear in a TV show titled, “If I Did it?” Yeah, he was going to rub it in the faces of his single-parent children and explain to the world how he would’ve killed his wife if he had done it. Well now it looks like he was hiding the profits of that book to keep them from going to the Goldman family.

Former American football star O.J. SIMPSON has been found guilty of hiding profits from his controversial book IF I DID IT in a shell company.
Judge Jay Cristol ruled on Friday (15Jun07) that bankrupt business Lorraine Brooke Associates, run by Simpson’s daughter Arnelle, was used to conceal profits from the family of Ron Goldman, which is trying to collect a wrongful death civil judgment of $33.5 million (£16.75 million) from the star.

Like father like daughter, I guess. I was wondering who would actually contribute to such a business venture, but now I know. This is a good sign my friends, good sign. And hot damn, he owes the family $33.5 million? That’s a lot. If I had known where the proceeds were going, maybe I would’ve made a donation.

Chest Bump to Ben Maller