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Shaq Is One Vindictive Baby

I suppose this is where I’m supposed to laugh along with everybody else at how funny Shaq’s rap video making fun of Kobe was. Or I can settle for seeing through Shaq whose four rings and $20+ million salary per season isn’t enough. Instead, he has to celebrate over the failure of others to feel good about himself. I can’t believe this guy. By now you’ve probably heard about his rap video that blames Kobe for ruining Shaq’s marriage, and that Kobe couldn’t win without Shaq. Here it is so you can enjoy Shaq’s amazing rap skills. I think he’s actually able to recite lyrics without looking down at his paper by the second verse.

Don’t get me wrong and confuse this for me taking Kobe’s side, it’s just that in the race for being the most disgusting Laker from their recent title teams, Shaq’s head is getting closer to Kobe’s ass, that’s for sure. Shaq, I thought you were better than that, I really did. Lets just hope he’s not a future NBA commentator. Can we really expect him to give an emerging big man his due if this his ego is this big?

Screw Nash, Shaq Should Run the Point

If you missed the Suns game Monday night, you missed Shaq go all vintage early-90s on us. It was quite the spectacle. Enjoy the enjoyment:

You know that old line that Shaq is a point guard stuck inside a big man’s body? I think it’s probably true. Man does he love handling the rock. Someone just needs to remind him to forget about the no-look passes.

Video via Ballhype. And yes, I jacked the title from a comment left on YouTube — couldn’t resist it.

What is Shaq’s Problem?

Honestly, I don’t get this guy. Maybe he’s like Gary Sheffield or something where he always needs an enemy as motivation to stay focused. Because for some reason Shaq can’t be traded to a new team without getting in some parting shots on his old team. That’s why I don’t understand how the dude got off these completely unprovoked words towards his former team:

“I love playing for this coach and I love playing with these guys. We have professionals who know what to do. No one is asking me to play with Chris Quinn or Ricky Davis. I’m actually on a team again.”

Was that really necessary, Shaq? Pat Riley, who is about the last person I’d be defending at this point, actually is justified in calling it sad that Shaq is still attacking the Heat. I would completely agree. Jorge Sedano at 790 The Ticket in Miami says Shaq is the handles breakups more unprofessionally than any other athlete. I might have to agree.

This is the same Shaq whose first words upon receiving the NBA championship trophy with Miami was to rave about Riley, calling him the best coach he’s ever had — a blatant slap in the face of Phil Jackson. It makes you wonder why Shaq would use such a great, beautiful stage to bring down someone from his past rather than just talk about the present. These comments were yet another example of Shaq making unprovoked attacks that only make him look bad. Honestly Shaq, just keep it to yourself, we’re tired of this business already.

Shaq Clears the Suns’ Bench

After seeing Shaq act like Jim Edmonds reincarnate Sunday, his teammates learned their lesson. Check out their reaction to Shaq chasing down a loose ball in Phoenix’s win over the Grizzlies Tuesday night:

Clearly they wanted no part of the Big Fella Cactus. You see them scatter like roaches when the lights turn on? That bench parted like the red sea!

Shaq Trade Officially a Bust for Suns

That’s it, I was critical of the trade when it first went down, and now I officially declare the Shaq trade a bust. The bludgeoning in Phoenix administered by the Pistons last weekend got me started thinking something was wrong. The ass-kicking in New Orleans was another light bulb. And now the home loss to the Sixers was the bright neon sign officially announcing that the Shaq trade isn’t working for the Suns. I know Shaq keeps insisting that we need to wait because he’s a new player playing with a new team but I’ve heard enough of his song. He can keep signing the tune and tell us we need to be patient and wait for them to get in sync. You know what I say to that, Shaq? Tell us to keep waiting and before we know it, the Suns will be out of the playoffs.

Honestly, at this point, I don’t even think the Suns will manage to make the playoffs. Sure, they’ve played four difficult teams since Shaq started playing minutes and gone 1-3, but they’ve also played two poor ones and gone 1-1. Yes, the Suns are only 2-4 with Shaq in the lineup. They keep this type of performance up, they’re not going anywhere. They lost at home to the Sixers Saturday night! That is absolutely inexcusable. I don’t know how Shaq can even talk his way out of that one. With Marion, they would have played the Hornets close. With Shaq, they got smacked by 17. If there is a silver lining to this debacle of a trade for Phoenix, it is that Steve Kerr sacked up, threw his balls on the line, and took a shot. He decided his team wasn’t good enough as it was and made a move. Looks like he missed, but at least the dude has some guts (I guess).

Bill Walton Takes Shaq to Task

I remember watching Walton’s criticism of Shaq air on ESPN Sunday. I thought it was harsh and poignant, and most of all, accurate. I didn’t think much of it at the time because I was in agreement with Walton’s assessment. Well, come to find that Walton’s comments have created somewhat of a stir that resulted in a response from Shaq. Thankfully Tom Ziller posted the video at FanHouse (via Ballhype) for our viewing pleasure. (If you don’t have time to watch the video, you can read some of the exchange instead).

Walton nails it here. Shaq is in a lose-lose situation if you think about it; he plays well, we all wonder what happened in Miami and think he gave up. He plays poorly, then we were all right that he had nothing left. And Shaq’s defense of attacking Walton’s career is a lame one. Shaq has the right to claim scoreboard on nearly anyone he encounters. Having to resort to that argument means Shaq really had no proper defense for Walton’s comments. I’m surprised after all these years that Shaq hasn’t learned that missing/tanking/being lazy during the regular season leaves him open to public criticism.

Shaquille O’Neal Brand New Phoenix Suns Jerseys Now On Sale!

Gotta give made props to Anders(on) Varejao for hooking up this sweet pic. We’re all piling on Shaq, so might as well continue the awesomeness.

We may laugh now, but when the playoffs come, can Shaq charge it back up and become a new man? It’s possible. But still, this is too funny to pass on. Hopefully he has enough left in the tank to make us all eat our words. Or at least most of us.