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Tarvaris Jackson Receives Condoms for Protection After Being Sacked 5 Times

Four quarterbacks were sacked a league-high five times during week one of the NFL season. Tarvaris Jackson at least has something (other than a few bruises) to show for it.

The Seahawks QB says he received a package of condoms in the name of extra protection. NuVo condoms is responsible for the promotional campaign and they reportedly plan to continue the practice throughout the season.

It’s a clever marketing idea and it’s something they’ve done before. They sent Jim Thome 600 Jimmy hats when he hit his 600th home run.

Matt Ryan, Jay Cutler, and Kyle Orton also were sacked five times but there’s no word if they received the packages. In Jay’s case we know he won’t be using them. In Kyle’s case, judging by his neckbeard, he seems like more of a raw-dogger than anything else.

Thanks to Hot Clicks for the story

Seattle Seahawks to Sign Tarvaris Jackson, Still Stink

Day one following the end of the NFL lockout was an eventful one, though the Kevin Kolb to Arizona trade we’ve all been expecting never happened. Instead we were left to get excited about the Seahawks’ plans to release Matt Hasselbeck and sign Tarvaris Jackson, leaving us to conclude that winning is no longer high on Pete Carroll’s agenda.

John Clayton reports that Jackson’s contract with Seattle is two years for $8 million, which is the exact same contract Charlie Whitehurst signed. Their depth chart at the position reminds me of the classic line from Clueless when Cher’s father reminded her two permits do not equal a license. Word to Pete Carroll: two backups does not equal a starter.

Charlie Whitehurst is a QB for whom they overpaid in a trade with the Chargers last year. He managed to beat the Rams in week 17 to help Seattle clinch the NFC West (not much of an accomplishment), but he struggled to lead drives as the team’s quarterback. He’s somewhat mobile which is nice because he only completes passes 57% of the time.

Tarvaris Jackson isn’t much better of an option. T-Jack has 24 touchdowns and 22 interceptions in his career, and he’s lost seven fumbles. He played with weapons such as Adrian Peterson, Sidney Rice, and Visanthe Shiancoe, and always had a great offensive line, yet he never developed. I wouldn’t want either player to be my team’s backup quarterback. Seattle now has them as their potential starters.

The Seahawks better hope it only takes seven wins to be crowned NFC champions again because there’s no way they’re topping that mark with these two guys at the helm. The real fun will begin if they eventually sign Matt Leinart. That trio could make the Three Stooges jealous.

Video: Tavaris Jackson Hit by Chris Clemons After Interception, Ouch

All I can say is good thing the Vikings have the rest of the year off so Tarvaris Jackson will have a chance to recover from this brutal hit. As if Chad Pennington didn’t already teach us why interceptions are bad, Jackson gives us another reason (turn down the volume):

Oh man, that’s really gotta hurt. He completely got decleated. He got lifted up like a foot in the air and slammed to the turf. My goodness was that brutal. The only thing worse than that hit was Jackson’s play all game. Sure, coming into a game in the 2nd half against the Lions defense when nobody has prepared for you is one thing. Lighting up Arizona when they’re taking the week off to celebrate a playoff berth has some meaning. The reality is Tarvaris Jackson cannot perform at a decent level on a consistent basis in this league. If Minnesota continues to run him out there at QB, they’re not going to be anything better than mediocre. It’s really too bad because both of their lines are great and so is their running game. Sad to see it all go to waste. Thanks to the Suave click of Tirico for the vid, via Ballhype.