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Carlos Zambrano Injures Neck Watching Late-Night TV

If I were to tell you Carlos Zambrano suffered a non-baseball injury, you would probably think he did something stupid. Maybe you’d figure he got into a fight or punched a wall because he got a question wrong in a game of trivia.  Baseball fans are very aware of Zambrano’s anger management issues, even if he claims to have gotten them under control.  However, his latest injury — a stiff neck — actually sprung up while Carlos was relaxing, if you can believe that.

As we know, weird injuries are a part of professional sports no matter how frustrating they may be.  Guys like Alcides Escobar miss spring training because of bug bites while others like Scott Downs get hurt playing with their kids.  The Shawn Marions of the world even manage to hurt themselves walking into a glass door.  According to the Chicago Tribune via Ben Maller, Zambrano has been battling a stiff neck as a result of his poor posture while watching late-night television.

“I watch TV with my head on the pillow and the chiropractor told me to sit on my back and not my shoulder,” Zambrano said. “I have a little knot. With treatment it will go away. Sometimes it doesn’t bother me. It’s nothing to worry about.”

Fortunately, Big Z will not miss a start for the Cubs.  Not only do they need his arm, but his bat has been helping the team as of late.  Zambrano picked up a win for Chicago on Thursday and recorded three hits.  My advice to the (former?) hot head: less Jimmy Kimmel and a few more z’s.

Shawn Marion Cut Himself Walking into a Glass Door

Dallas Mavericks forward Shawn Marion was lucky he didn’t have the difficult assignment of guarding Kobe Bryant for all of Game 1 Monday night. From the sounds of things, he has much more simple tasks to worry about.

Marion was sporting a noticeable cut above his right eyelid that required a few stitches. Marion explained he hurt himself leaving the hotel Friday morning after Dallas closed out their first-round series against Portland.

“I got into a battle with a glass door and the glass door won,” Marion said. “Dead serious. It was an accident. I was in a rush trying to get on the bus and I slipped and I had my glasses on and I cut my eye.”

So he got cut because his glasses broke. Non-prescription fashion statement glasses.

Even though Marion loses points for wearing pointless glasses, he regained them by getting stitched up by a team doctor on the plane. That’s pretty hard, Shawn, but it still doesn’t keep you from joining this infamous list.

Fist pound to Sports by Brooks Live for the story

Photo Credit: Andrew D. Bernstein/Getty Images

Tenby AFC Soccer Player Has Pool Cue Shoved Up His Can

The following occurred at an end-of-season party, but it deserves to be filed under weird injuries regardless.  It may not result in Player X missing any time in his sport, but if you think breaking a toe playing with your kids or missing a spring training game because of a bug bite is weird this will blow your mind.

According to Fox Sports, via SbB Live, a few Welsh non-league footballers for Tenby AFC were horsing around at an end-of-season party when things went terribly, terribly wrong.  I’m not talking about a party getting out of hand and a fight breaking out or police making arrests.  That sort of happened too, but we can get into that later.  The most special moment from this party happened when an unnamed 37-year-old midfielder was turned into a popsicle.  By that I mean one of his teammates jammed a pool cue up his ass.

“It was a bit of horseplay that went seriously wrong,” an unnamed source told the English newspaper The Mirror. “We’d all had a few drinks when one of the lads did a moonie. A player picked up a pool cue and it all went wrong from there.”

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Scott Downs Breaks Toe Playing with Kids

We may be more than two weeks away from the start of baseball season, but that hasn’t stopped the weird injuries from continuing to roll in.  Last week, the Royals announced that shortstop Alcides Escobar would miss time in spring training after a bug bite became infected.  The latest weird injury victim, Angels pitcher Scott Downs, is a repeat customer.  You might recall Downs injuring his foot in 2009 trying to run out of the batter’s box.

This time, Downs has a broken toe.  Unlike his first foot injury, the left-hander suffered this setback in the comfort of his own home.  According to ESPN Los Angeles, via Hardball Talk, Downs fractured his toe while playing with his kids at his Arizona home.  He’s expected to miss at least a couple weeks, and likely the start of the regular season.

“I was just doing normal dad stuff at home,”  he said, noting that the toe swelled up and turned purple. “It’s obviously very frustrating, but I think it’s just a minor setback.”

Can’t fault a man for spending some quality time with his kids, right?  Don’t be surprised if MLB teams are including “no horsing around with your children” clauses in contracts in the near future.

Alcides Escobar Misses Spring Training Game With Bug Bite

By now, we all understand that weird injuries in sports cannot be avoided.  Over the years, we’ve featured stories about tennis players hurting their hands playing Playstation, photographers injuring football players, and countless weird baseball injuries that seem inexplicable. On Sunday, Royals shortstop Alcides Escobar brought us our first ever bug bite injury.

As the Kansas City Star pointed out, via Ben Maller, Escobar was scratched from the Royals lineup on Sunday because of an infection on his arm that stemmed from a bug bite. Kansas City manager Ned Yost said the bite became infected when Escobar scratched it, and he now has “red streaks (up his arm) and it’s swollen and warm.” Escobar has been given an antibiotic that should clear the infection up.

You can’t make this stuff up, folks.  It’s important to note that the “injury” was suffered during spring training, so there’s no telling whether or not something like this would have caused Escobar to miss time during the regular season.  In any event, maybe this will teach him to stop scratching and leave his bites alone. My mother always told me not to scratch.

Robert Meachem Injured by Photographer, Sean Payton Not Happy

Saints third-year wide receiver Robert Meachem had one of his best games of the season Monday night against the Falcons. He had 10 catches for 101 yards in New Orleans’ 17-14 road win that makes them 11-4. You would think he’d be all smiles after the game, but an overzealous photographer screwed things up by tripping Meachem, injuring his ankle:

Saints coach Sean Payton was understandably upset Tuesday over the circumstances by which Meachem was hurt. “I heard about it,” Payton said. “I think he’s going to be fine. You can make any type of light of it that you want but there’s an issue though. I have an issue when there’s free reign.” Payton went on to say that aggressive photographers who want the picture create problems. He’s right, and those on-field mad rushes after games turn out to be stampede-like dangerous situations.

The good news is Meachem should be fine and we now have another addition to our large collection of weird sports injuries. Thanks to LBS tipster Billy Johnson for the story.

Photo Credit: Michael DeMocker/The Times-Picayune

New Mexico Quarterback Brad Gruner Knocked Out Carving a Pumpkin

New Mexico is 0-8 this season and unfortunately for the Lobos things aren’t getting any better. They’ve played four different quarterbacks this year but will be one shorter on their roster now. SI Hot Clicks shared the story with us about quarterback Brad Gruner who is done for the season after requiring season-ending surgery on his throwing hand. How did the injury occur you ask? He sliced his pinkie carving a pumpkin. Gotta love Halloween.

New Mexico not only has Gruner out for the year, but true freshman Tarean Austin has a bad ankle and B.R. Holbrook hurt his shoulder against Colorado State. The Lobos will likely be in position to start true freshman Stump Godfrey (great name) against Wyoming. They’ll need a big game out of Stump because this could be their last chance for a win. After the home game against Wyoming, they’re at Air Force, at BYU, and home against TCU to finish out the season. If they don’t win this weekend, they could be in worse shape than New Mexico State.