Jason Collins became the first active professional athlete in the four major American sports to reveal he is gay just over two months ago, and for the most part we have already stopped talking about it. If you ask me, that is a good thing. The idea is to look at a gay NBA player as a professional basketball player, not a gay professional basketball player.
However, one of the interesting side stories that has arisen from the Collins situation is that of his ex-fiancee Carolyn Moos. Collins and Moos were together for eight years and were engaged to be married before he inexplicably called off their wedding in 2009. The April revelation allowed Moos to connect some of the dots, and she told her story in an upcoming peace for Cosmopolitan magazine.
“A month before I was set to marry the man I loved, he called off the wedding,” Moos wrote. “I had no idea why. He and I had been together for eight years. We had planned to have children, build a family. Nearly four years later, I got my answer. My former fiancé, Jason Collins, a pro basketball player with the Washington Wizards, announced last spring in Sports Illustrated that he is gay.”
Moos, who previously said she never suspected Collins was gay, said he came out to her over the phone the same day the article was published. However, he did not mention the SI story. She had to later find out about it from a friend. In fact, Moos is bothered by the fact that she has still not spoken to Collins about it.
“As I tell this story, it has been several weeks since he told me his news and he has made no further time to talk, despite saying he would do so,” Moos said. “I am sad that the media seems to be a higher priority. I hope this changes in the coming weeks, as I value open dialogue more than anything.”
Collins has certainly been busy with late-night talk show appearances and ceremonial first pitches, which was to be expected given the impact his revelation had on the LGBT community and the framework of professional sports in America. While Moos stressed that she understands all that, she made it clear that she is not ready to completely forgive him.
“I empathize with Jason and support him. But at the same time, I remain deeply hurt by him,” she wrote. “I wish he could have been honest with me years ago. I feel like there are two Jasons now — the man I fell in love with and the man I’m trying so hard to understand. He’s being hailed as a pioneer, but I believe true heroism is a result of being honest with yourself and with those you love.”
Most people talk about how difficult it must have been for Collins to carry such a massive burden with him throughout his life and career, but it’s important to remember that Moos dated him for eight years and had her wedding abruptly called off, waiting years to find out the truth. In many ways, that burden must have been equally as heavy.
H/T For the Win
