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Tuesday, October 22, 2019

Darwin Nominees

Drunk guy in Raiders shirt strips on airport tarmac, urinated on building, challenges pilot to fight, gets tasered

It’s pretty simple: when an idiot completes the trifecta of crimes and then gets Tasered to top things off, that makes for LBS material. But when said idiot is wearing an Oakland Raiders shirt while acting like a hooligan, that gives us even more of a sports tie and indisputable reason to post it.

Raiders manchester airportSo here’s the story according to the Manchester Evening News. A 52-year-old man wearing an Oakland Raiders shirt arrived in Manchester on an easyJet flight from Malta last month and made a drunken scene. He apparently urinated on the side of the Terminal One building, was abusive to passengers on the flight, and stripped as he exited the plane. He also challenged the pilot to a fight and was slapped by his “female companion” for his behavior.

“A 52-year-old man was dry tasered and arrested on suspicion of being drunk and disorderly in a public place. He was issued with a Fixed Penalty Notice,” EasyJet told the Manchester Evening News in a statement.

Bottom line? If you’re not a Manc, you’re a wank.

H/T The Big Lead

TV anchor Joyce Evans makes ‘Breaking Bad’ joke about Philadelphia shooting

File this under tweets you’d like to have back:

Joyce Evans tweet

That’s FOX 29 anchor Joyce Evans really using a Philadelphia shooting to make a joke. A “Breaking Bad” joke. And it wasn’t even a funny joke, not that that would have made it OK. But why would anyone think a shooting involving multiple people is a good time to make a pun or news tease? Where the heck is your judgment?

Clearly Evans had no clue that her tweet was sent in poor taste, because over half an hour after sending it, it was still up, and she didn’t even recognize the problem when it was pointed out to here:

What planet are you on, lady?

Colts rookie John Boyett arrested, gave police a stiff arm, threatened to break officer’s jaw, said ‘You can’t arrest me … I’m a Colts player’

John BoyettIndianapolis Colts rookie John Boyett managed to make the team’s reserve/non-football injury list, but his status with the franchise is probably in doubt after his embarrassing arrest early Monday morning.

Boyett, a sixth-round draft pick out of Oregon, was picked up for disorderly conduct, public intoxication and resisting law enforcement after being denied entrance at an Indianapolis bar for being too drunk, The Indianapolis Star reports.

Boyett was allegedly causing a disturbance outside the bar, so one of the bar’s employees located a police officer and asked for the officer’s assistance. The officer went over to the bar and eventually found Boyett causing a disturbance. He tried arresting the defensive back, but was allegedly met with resistance.

According to the police report, Boyett gave the officer a stiff arm, tried to strike the officer, and then fled on foot. A pursuit began and three other officers were able to apprehend Boyett. They described the Colts rookie as very abusive and having red eyes, slurred speech and the scent of alcohol on his breath.

And here are some more gems: Boyett kept yelling at the officers “You can’t arrest me … I’m a Colts player!” He also supposedly made fun one of the officer’s nose and hair, and threatened to break another officer’s jaw.

You can read the full police report here, because it is a beauty.

I understand that Boyett was totally trashed, but when are people going to realize that the “do you know who I am?” line or “You can’t arrest me because I play for …” doesn’t work?

Boyett is currently on the reserve/non-football injury list and will miss the first six games. It’s a sad day when a 23-year-old can’t handle his booze.

Florida LB Antonio Morrison reportedly arrested for barking at police dog

Antonio-Morrison-mug-shotFlorida linebacker Antonio Morrison was arrested early Sunday morning for one of the dumbest reasons you may ever hear in your life. The sophomore was reportedly booked at around 4:15 a.m for resisting arrest and — here’s the kicker — harassing a police animal.

According to GatorCountry.com’s Nick de la Torre, police responded to an unrelated incident at a club when Morrison allegedly began barking at police dogs, which resulted in them barking back. The act of stupidity reportedly annoyed an officer who decided to arrest Morrison.

As Deadspin pointed out, Morrison was arrested under Florida statute 843.19.4. Here’s what that entails:

(4) Any person who intentionally or knowingly maliciously harasses, teases, interferes with, or attempts to interfere with a police dog, fire dog, SAR dog, or police horse while the animal is in the performance of its duties commits a misdemeanor of the second degree, punishable as provided in s. 775.082 or s. 775.083.

Morrison was also arrested in June for an incident at a nightclub, so staying out of trouble hasn’t exactly been his thing. The only thing more embarrassing than being arrested twice in one summer is having one of those arrests come because you were barking at an animal. You couldn’t write a funnier script than that.

UPDATE: Per Bruce Feldman of of CBS Sports, Florida head coach Will Muschamp has announced that Morrison has been suspended and will miss at least the first two games of the season.

Former Florida LB Monty Grow arrested after leaving 3-year-old in car while he hits the strip club

Monty-Grow-mug-shotFormer Florida linebacker Monty Grow has found himself in trouble with the law in one of the most embarrassing ways imaginable. We have heard of irresponsible parenting before, but the stunt Grow pulled over the weekend redefines the idiotic chaperone game.

Grow, 41, was arrested for child abuse on Sunday after he left his 3-year-old child in the car alone and went into a strip club. According to WTSP in Tampa, police said the child’s grandparents were already there and had removed her from the car by the time they got there. Deputies say Grow admitted to leaving the girl in the car unattended.

Grow had reportedly driven his vehicle to the Diamond Dolls strip club at approximately 9:48 p.m. on Sunday night, parked his car, left his child there and went inside. You can’t make this stuff up, nor would we want to. Fortunately, his daughter was not injured.

And the award for Father of the Year goes to…

Grow played at the University of Florida from 1989-1993. He was suspended for a season in 1991 after testing positive for steroids. The juicing must have fried his brain, because anyone who would leave their 3-year-old in the car to go to the strip club is not fit to be a parent.

H/T The Big Lead

Chad Gaudin was reportedly arrested for groping a woman on a hospital gurney

Chad-Gaudin-GiantsSome guys just can’t handle Vegas.

San Francisco Giants reliever Chad Gaudin was arrested back in January in Las Vegas, but the story of his arrest somehow slipped through the cracks until now. The Las Vegas Review-Journal shared the details of the arrest with us on Wednesday, and they are sure to leave you scratching your head.

According to police, Gaudin was intoxicated at about 4:30 a.m. on Jan. 27 when he approached a woman who was lying on a gurney in the emergency room lobby at Desert Springs Hospital. The 30-year-old pitcher allegedly told the woman “she was gorgeous” and touched her face and breast. He was arrested and charged with open and gross lewdness.

A witness who allegedly saw the exchange said he or she heard Gaudin say, “I will take care of you, don’t worry about them,” before touching the patient’s face, leg and breast. A paramedic also witnessed the incident and told Gaudin to leave her alone, but he refused. Hospital security then held him down until police arrived.

The arresting officer wrote in his report that Gaudin was “still yelling and using profanity” when he arrived on the scene.

“I asked Gaudin several times how he ended up at the hospital and each time he told me that he didn’t know,” the officer wrote. “Gaudin appeared to be intoxicated. He had slurred speech, bloodshot eyes, trouble standing still, obeying commands, an odor of alcoholic beverages and couldn’t repeat his house number, where he lives, the same way twice in a row.”

What the? We have all heard of people acting crazy and getting themselves into trouble in Vegas, but who gropes someone who is in a hospital awaiting treatment? It takes a particular type of person to do something like that — wasted or not.

UPDATE: Gaudin’s attorney Dominic Gentile has provided an interesting excuse for his client’s antics. Via the San Francisco Chronicle’s John Shea:

“On January 27, 2013, Chad Gaudin was examined in the emergency room of a local hospital while experiencing symptoms believed to be related to acute renal failure due to a condition known as rhabdomyolysis. The symptoms included confusion, dehydration and loss of orientation and/or consciousness. Although he has been accused of improperly touching another hospital patient while on the premises that night, there are differing and exonerating versions of what occurred that have been reported by eye witnesses. Mr. Gaudin denies any unlawful conduct and has been cooperating with the authorities. I am confident that this matter will be resolved in his favor and because it is pending in court there will be no further comment.”

H/T Deadspin

Anna Benson looks terrible in mug shot following gun arrest

Anna Benson mug shot

As far as WAGs go, Anna Benson appears to be past her prime. Not only does it look like she’s lost her fastball, but she also has gone completely bonkers.

The ex-wife of former New York Mets pitcher Kris Benson was arrested Monday and booked on four counts, including two felony charges, for allegedly running up into her ex’s house carrying a gun and metal baton. She also reportedly was strapped with a bulletproof vest at the time of her intrusion.

The Bensons filed for divorce last year and Anna was recently ordered to vacate their marital home. She allegedly went to Kris’ home on Sunday night to get some money from him, and she was toting the gun and baton.

According to TMZ, Anna has been charged with two counts of felony aggravated assault with a weapon, one count of criminal trespass, and one count of possession of a firearm during the commission of a crime.

Benson is one of the most well known baseball WAGs of all time. She was a cast member on VH1’s Baseball Wives and notoriously swung a dildo at Chuck Knoblauch’s then wife Cheri. She also gained notoriety in New York when she said she would sleep with the entire Mets team if she ever caught her husband cheating on her. Incidentally, Kris filed for divorce last year after Anna caught him cheating. We’re still waiting for her to sleep with all the Mets, but something tells us the players might not be too interested.

In case you forgot, here’s what Benson looked like in her youthful modeling days:

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