“Choking” is not a very nice term to use, especially with respect to sports teams. That is why I am using it right now. Thanks to CPR training, I can tell you that choking refers to an obstruction leading to a blockage of the airway causing difficulty in breathing. Having to demonstrate on an inanimate object that has no arms or any functioning movement does not really apply to a discourse on sports, unless you are talking about the starting left fielder for the LA Dodgers. In sports lexicon, choking is the inability to perform when it counts. It’s what separates a guy like Jerry West from a player like LeBron James.
There have been just as many ways to describe the incapability to succeed when under pressure as there are instances of it occurring. The Houston Oilers coughing up a 32-point lead to the Buffalo Bills during a 1993 playoff game was a choke job. Not sure what such a job pays, but, presumably, it is better than my various stints in the mailroom. There have also been plenty of so-called choke artists who have burnished a reputation by burning their hopes of winning a title and, thus, leaving their fans burning. These artists won’t likely be hosting an exhibition to display their works to the seething public anytime soon.
The greatest part about being a sports pundit — aside from angry e-mails, semicolon cleansing, and the realization that there is really no difference between sports writers and players except for the former’s lack of athletic ability and receiving a pay stub that reads “Good Luck” in the memo line — is the ability to criticize athletes for falling flat on their faces during the most important times in a game, the so-called clutch moments. Well, that and not having to shave is also another big perk.
Baseball has given the sports world so many examples of choking, that CPR could very well represent the Cubs, Phillies, and Red Sox for bearing ownership to the biggest collapses in the sport’s history. The Cubs could trot out a menagerie of animals to explain away their sporting failures — Billy goats, black cats, Bartmans — but a 10-game division lead in August back in 1969 ended up as an 8-game deficit at the end of the season; and a nondescript, headphones-wearing pisher named Steve Bartman did not cause the team’s loss to the Marlins in the 2003 NLCS when Chicago was only four outs from the pennant. In a strange twist, the pitcher at the time, Mark Prior, might get less name recognition in the Windy City than Steve-a-reeno.
In 1964, the Phillies began the trend of sports-induced wizardry by making a 6½ game lead with twelve games remaining disappear into thin air by losing 10 in a row. Some called it the “Phold.” Others called it a “Phlop,” and a huge “Phlub.” Regardless, it’s apparent people from Philadelphia need to discover the letter ‘F.’ (Or at least take a cue from spell-check.) The Red Sox are no strangers to having been Buckner-ed in the past. In 1978, a blown 14-game lead and a lost one-game playoff to the Yankees put a (Bucky) Dent in their title aspirations until the Idiots came along in 2004 to end a championship drought that left fans more bitter than a stale Sam Adams. The 2011 edition of the Red Sox were not deserving of the Boston Proper noun “Idiots” but were instead relegated to the more ineffectual, and previously-used sobriquet “idiots” for finding a way to chowder away a 9-game wildcard lead over the Tampa Bay Rays in the final three weeks of the season. A 7-19 September left Red Sox Nation in worse shape than France circa 1789, and still ended with Tito Francona getting the guillotine.
Not to be outdone, the Atlanta Braves — once “America’s team” due to their penchant for falling apart like Uncle Sam’s automobiles — blew a wildcard lead of 8.5 games on September 6th to miss out on the playoffs to the St. Louis Cardinals.
Baseball is, by no means, the only sport where athletes are put through sports’ version of the Heimlich maneuver. In 1980, the USA was beside itself after the Soviet hockey team, billed as the best in the world, was beaten in the semifinals by a rather unheralded American squad. Do you think Russians believed in miracles after that? Nyet.
During the 2007 regular season, the New England Patriots ran the table, but one of the legs gave way and the whole thing collapsed in an IKEA-bought mess after David Tyree’s catch that inspired many nicknames, including one website which called it “The Giant Snatch.” (There are more than just New England fans who would be afraid of that.)
Sacre bleu, even Jean Van de Velde finds his way onto the list. Like the old saying goes, if you can’t hold a 3-stroke lead on the 18th hole at Carnoustie, you’re officially a choker. Trying to become the first French golfer to win the British Open since 1907, poor Jean swung for the green and hit the grandstand, eventually settling with a triple-bogey and a playoff loss to Paul Lawrie. If he is still ruing the loss 12 years later, at least he may be able to take some solace in the fact that there have been two French references made in this article, more than the previous sixty I’ve written.
Heck, choking has become so prevalent even Dirk Nowitzki, who up until this past spring was known for clanging two free throws to help cost the Mavericks a title in 2006, took to cheering up Tony Romo, who fiddled Sunday while the Cowboys burned a 24-point lead and lost.
Lists are so prominent on the Internet these days; it would not be the least bit surprising to find a list of the top 25 greatest top-25 lists soon. Run a search on chokes and you’ll find countless number of the ‘greatest’ (depending on perspective) in history. One list even put Mike Tyson biting part of Evander Holyfield’s right ear off during their 1997 bout as a choke. Forgive me if I don’t recall perfectly, but how can that be a choke? Tyson didn’t even swallow it.
How many times in recorded history has someone forgotten the words to the Star Spangled Banner? Or, for that matter, the letters to the alphabet during the sobriety test. Ever get to the front of the line at your local fast-food restaurant, uncertain of what you want to order, then with the pressure rising you’re forced into a decision that you later regret, a rhubarb omelet? This, my friends, is choking.
Any medical professional will tell you a choking victim requires people nearby to give immediate attention. Any sports writer will tell you that an athlete choking on the field of play requires immediate attention, too, via words hurriedly typed out on a computer screen. After all, in the world of sports, the clichéd goal is to reach the end and emerge triumphant, to be the last team standing. Conversely, it must be so demoralizing to fight one’s way to the conclusion, to try and dig deep and, in the deciding moment, when everyone is watching you and waiting for that dramatic finale, … umm … ummm …
