Larry Brown Sports

According to an article passed along to me by the legendary John Ramey that appeared in the San Francisco Chronicle,

“In North Carolina, four men are collecting signatures for a petition that would seek national-holiday status for the Super Bowl.”

 This is bleepin’ brilliant!  

Seriously, it’s news items like this that make you wonder what we’ve been thinking the past 40 years. 

“That official day off would be observed on a Monday, in the grand American tradition of the three-day weekend — and in recognition of the debilitating Sunday excess of unhealthy food, strong beverage, televised sporting violence, relentless commercialism and not a small amount of gambling. No need to call in sick if the office is closed.”

If you are a man, and you are not in favor of this, you need to relocate your nut sack.  If you are a woman, and you are not in favor of this, you need a man in your life.   

To join the cause, visit SuperBowlMonday.com and sign the petition. 

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So Jerry Rice has just come out with a book titled “Go Long! My Journey Beyond the Game and the Fame.”  As if we didn’t see him enough when he was on Dancing With the Stars, now he’s on every show in the world publicizing his book. Can’t blame the guy – who in a sane frame of mind wouldn’t want the greatest wide receiver ever to be a guest on their show?

Since the San Francisco treat has been making the rounds, several people have been referring to him as the greatest wide receiver EVER, and potentially the greatest football player ever.  True, he is the all-time leader in receptions, receiving yards, and receiving touchdowns, but I will remain steadfast in my belief that none other than Randy Moss has been more dominant than the perceived greatest wide receiver ever for an extended stretch of time.  Before you call me crazy, witness the numbers:

*Rice played in 108 games in his first 7 years, Moss played in 109 games in his first 7 years

Before arriving at the Black Hole that is Oakland, Randy Moss was off to a better start in his career than Jerry Rice.  And 7 years is a significant sample size to measure – it’s not like each of their best 3 years were chosen for the purpose of this comparison.  So before you think of Jerry Rice being that great, I will maintain that Randy Moss was a more dominant receiver for an extended stretch of time than Jerry Rice.

So it’s about a day until the Bears and Colts embark for Miami to enjoy the media hump fest that is the week of the Super Bowl.  I’m not sure whether or not this is a good thing or a bad thing, but Bears DT Tank Johnson will be taking time out from his busy schedule of brandishing guns, sharpening knives, and rolling blunts, to make the trip. 

For a guy with a rap sheet longer than Mike McKenzie’s hair, you have to wonder how he’s allowed to play in the game.  Think about it, Tank has been arrested 3 times in the past 18 months (which I guess is tame in comparison to Chris Henry).  His charges include a scuffle with a police officer, a misdemeanor weapons charge, and most recently, 10 counts of possession of firearms without proper ID.

That being the case, how the heck was he let off?  Why is he allowed to go to Miami on vacation while awaiting trial for some serious offenses? 

Why don’t we turn to Assistant State’s Attorney Rick Cenar for some answers.  According to Cenar, Tank is allowed to go play because the trip is ”work-related.” Additionally, Cenar noted,

“Quite frankly we treated the defendant Mr. Johnson like any other defendant.” 

Right, he was treated like any other defendant.  Just check out the pictures below and you’ll understand that the treatment by the law enforcement officials in Illinois wasn’t at all preferential.

See officer (presumed Bears fan) congratulate Tank

See officer pat Tank on back and wish him well in Super Bowl

Uh huh, that’s what I thought.

You remember that game you played back in kindergarden?  You know, that game telephone?  Of course you do.  It went a little something like this – kids are all seated in a circle, teacher whispers some “code phrase” to the first kid, they’re supposed to repeat the phrase to the person sitting next to them, and so on and so forth until the code phrase has come all the way around the circle to be repeated to the teacher by the last student. Typically the code phrase starts out as something like trucks and blocks, but by the time it’s made a trip around the room, it comes out the other end as something like monkey a** f***.  You get the picture. 

Now it’s expected to have such an extreme lapse in communication when you’re dealing with a group of 5 year olds.  But it would be a little bit harder to picture amongst a group of professional adults.  Or maybe not.  From television station KTBS 3 in Shreveport:

“Rumors that [Terry] Bradshaw, a Shreveport native, had died of a heart attack swept through the area Thursday.  One theory as to how the rumor got started was that a local radio station reported a wreck on the Terry Bradshaw Passway — part of the Inner Loop — and that was misunderstood to say Bradshaw had passed away.”

Regardless of how the rumor was started, we have come to find that Terry is alive and well (or however you describe him), and he was in fact playing golf somewhere in Mexico when all the rumors were started.  Memo to media members: You have a lot of power.  What you decide to broadcast reaches and effects the lives of millions of people.  Is it too much to ask you to check the facts and do some INVESTIGATING journalism before you report things and cause a huge frenzy?  Didn’t think so.  As for the rest of this case…maybe we should examine what life would be like if Terry really had died?

In case I haven’t already made it abundantly clear, Gilbert Arenas is my favorite player in the NBA. You know what, forget the NBA. Gilbert Arenas is my favorite athlete. Ever. This guy is incredible. He is so great that I don’t even need to recount his greatness for you. He is the Benihana’s of Hibachi cooked food. He is the Adidas of sneakers. He is the face of the $0 dollar bill. He is the Phil Ivey of video poker. He is the Kobayashi of burger scarfing. He is the logo of the NBA…well at least he should be.

In the off chance you may deem me hovered in hyperbole, think again. For a quickie brush up, the guys at gilbertology will get you up to speed. Because I won’t bother. All I need to do is direct you to the single most entertaining read available. Ever. My friends, that is the NBA blog of the Hibachi himself – Gilbert Arenas. From his entry on Wednesday:

“[Phoenix Suns Coach Mike] D’Antoni said that after I scored 54 on them and made my prediction to score 50 on the Blazers that he’d like to see what I’m going to do against Duke.

I thought it was funny because if I have the chance to go back to college, I’ll give up one NBA season to play against Duke.

One college game, that’s five fouls, right?…40-minute games at Duke, they got soft rims, I’d probably score 84 or 85.

I wouldn’t pass the ball.

I wouldn’t even think about passing it. It would be like a NBA Live or an NBA 2K7 game, you just shoot with one person.”

Where’s the ticket, where? I’m in. Count me in. How much? Whatever you want. You got it. $1,000 bucks? Sure. To what? Watch Gilbert go video game on Duke? I’ll pay it. 84 or 85 points? Why not 100.

Look, I haven’t bought a pair of basketball shoes since the Grant Hill II by Fila when I was a middle-school wannabe. I think I may be purchasing my first pair in a decade. And yes – I am completely proud of this fact.

And pray to the goodness of Rory Fitzpatrick – Gilbert got voted in as a starter on the Eastern Conference All-Star team over Vince Carter. And all the elves and unicorns and manatees joined hands to dance around in circles celebrating the thought that all is right in the world.

Photo Credit Sports Illustrated

Like an old man trying to send back soup at a deli, Al Davis, got fiesty at Tuesday’s official introduction of Lane Kiffin as the new head coach of the Raiders.

San Jose Mercury News columnist Ann Killion asked Kiffin if he was concerned about taking the job - you know because taking over pretty much the worst offense ever is as great an opportunity as shaving the armpits of Billy Madison’s maid - and Al Davis stepped in to defend the position.  We’ll start with Killion’s question to Kiffin:

“This job has been kind of a black hole for coaches – you’re I think the 7th coach in a relatively short period of time.  What makes you think that you can be the difference maker here?”

Before Kiffin could respond, Davis stepped in:

“I would take that as an affront.  I don’t know why you said that and why you put those words ‘a black hole for coaches’.  Let me ask you this, who played in the championship game in the year 2000?  Who played in the championship game in the year 2002?  Who played in the championship game – we would’ve played in another Super Bowl – if not for the tuck rule, in 2001?  What other team in the Western Division or in the AFC can cite those kind of records?  Do you know Ann?”

Incidentially I came across some advised reading for Davis.  I guess getting rejected by Bobby Petrino, Steve Sarkisian, Dennis Green, and Ken Whisenhunt amongst others, won’t faze Davis who still believes there is an incredible luster that comes with the job of coaching the Raiders.  As for Kiffin, he becomes the Raiders’ 7th coach in 12 years. Good luck buddy. Just remember, you can always look to Art Shell, Mike White, and Joe Bugel to know what kind of stepping stone this can be.

Wheew, something to watch mid-week! Today in the NBA we have a matchup between the top team in each conference (record-wise) and I have to say I’m stoked for it. The Suns and Wizards are getting ready to tip-off shortly from the Verizon Center in D.C. At 24-16 the Wizards lead the Eastern Conference, while the Suns lead the Western Conference with a 32-8 record lead the Western Conference. The Wizards are 17-3 at home while the Suns are 13-5 on the road, pretty comparable splits. Last time the teams met was in late December and it took 54 points from Gilbert Arenas for the Wizards to win it. Even though the Wizards did it before (and on the road for that matter) it is going to take 60 points from Arenas to beat Phoenix this time. Considering each team has the best record in its respective conference at the near midpoint of the season, it would be fair to assume that this is a potential preview of the NBA finals.

However, I doubt we will be seeing this matchup in a few months for a best of 7. Despite having the top 2 candidates for MVP in the game (Gilbert Arenas of the Wizards being the leading MVP candidate, and Steve Nash being the 2nd candidate), I don’t think the Wizards will be able to reach the finals. Washington has a few inherent problems. Let’s start with their frontcourt. They are a poor rebounding team – and the combination of Etan Thomas and Brendan Haywood doesn’t exactly strike fear in the heart’s of opponents.

Secondly, although he is my clear-cut MVP favorite, Gilbert Arenas needs to prove that he is larger and more clutch than some of his Eastern Conference counterparts, specifically LeBron James. Last year’s 6 game elimination at the hands of the Cavs in the 2nd round of the playoffs came down to several last-second shots that Arenas missed.

Conversely, LeBron was able to drive the baseline and make the last second basket, not to mention psyche Arenas out at the free-throw line. Even though Gilbert has proved to be clutch down the stretch in the regular season thus far, most of his game-winners have been tie-breaking baskets. The difference between hitting a game-winning 3 with your team down by 2 and your team tied is the difference between bluffing Johnny Chan out of a hand and your next door neighbor (unless Chan’s your neighbor).

As for the Suns, count me in. I’m a believer and I’m buying the Suns in the finals. Yes I’m aware it’s going to be a tough road, but I think they have all the pieces in place. They have the speed, the outside shooting, the rebounding, and the depth to out-run you all night long. It’s not like last year for Phoenix when they had all these questions about Amare – now he’s fully in sync with their offense and they’ve proven themselves to be an offensive machine. Don’t tell Mark Cuban I said this, but Phoenix with a home-court advantage will take out the Mavs.

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Between Peyton actually winning, Reche’s crazy eyes, dudes with mullets winning golf tourneys, the Bob Sanders love affair, and Melo coming back - it was kind of easy to overlook a nice news item from the weekend.  Apparently former 3 time Vezina Trophy winner and 4 time Stanley Cup champion of the Canadiens and Avalanche, goaltender Patrick Roy, still has the best glove hand in the biz.  The Hall of Famer owns and coaches the Quebec City Remparts of the Quebec Major Junior Hockey league and is accused of hitting an opposing team’s owner following a junior hockey game.  From the Denver Post, 

“Police say about 50 fans of the Chicoutimi Sagueneens prevented the visiting players from boarding their team bus after a Friday night game.  Roy reportedly then got off the bus and attacked the Sagueneens’ owner.”

Well, I guess things could’ve been worse.  He could’ve made like Albert Belle and tried to run the fans over I guess. 

By the way, if anyone has a clue (without the aid of a search engine) what the **** a Sagueneen is, please let me know. 

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