I understand he’s all about getting value and giving second chances, but honestly why is Jerry Jones going after Lapdance Jones? The track record speaks for itself: the success of T.O. after he single-handedly blew up the Eagles — a player Jerry got for a bargain price. We’ll see what Tank Johnson does — another embattled player Jerry got on the cheap. But does this business model that Jerry has proven to be successful need to exist? At some point he should recognize the difference between giving an athlete a second chance and enabling a disgusting person who happens to be talented at football player. Giving T.O. a second chance to fit in with a different locker room is one thing. Bringing Lapdance Jones into the team when he’s a dude who started a strip club riot and hasn’t shown any remorse, went to a strip club the night of his review with the commissioner, and tried wrestling while he was suspended, is not the way to go.

Point blank, regardless of talent and demand, Lapdance Jones shouldn’t be playing in the NFL. It’s that simple. The dude should be in jail for his role in that debacle. I don’t care how talented he is, Jerry Jones should realize there’s a limit to how low he can stoop to make his team better. The sad part is the fan reception: if they put the needs of the team (another CB) ahead of their moral compass, they are vastly skewed. Luckily the Titans aren’t giving Lapdance up so easily otherwise it would make the deal seem win-win to the Cowboys. Hopefully Jerry Jones will realize that some moves aren’t worth being made, and this is one of them. I know I’m not in Dallas where they dropped the test-balloon on the fans last week to see the reaction, but I’ll say my piece and urge him not to pull the trigger. Lapdance Jones is just a bad dude and there isn’t room for a dummy like that in the game.

I’m not exactly sure whether or not this is public knowledge, but it’s news to me. Sports by Brooks points me to a 2003 article with Time Magazine in which Hideki Matsui tells of his extra-curricular activities, shall we say. Being about as honest as someone can be, here’s what he’s said:

Instructed to stay in the team dormitory and refrain from dating during the first several years of his career, so as to devote all his concentration solely to baseball, Matsui agreeably complied, without so much as a whimper. Indeed, his only eccentricity, if it can be called that, is his extensive private library of adult videos. His refreshing ability to laugh self-deprecatingly about his porno collection, reporters say, is one reason why fans and even nonfans have taken to him so much.

Maybe they’re just hoping he’ll loan them a flick or two. And according to a profile from SI, Matsui has 55,000 items in his adult entertainment collection. Dude’s a walking hustler store. And all this time I thought Matsui had no personality … what was I thinking. Man, no wonder he was so disappointed the year he broke his wrist …

My faithful Indian companion. Couldn’t resist it. For some reason or another, probably because they suck, the Miami Heat have been a great source for outstanding quotes this year. And this isn’t limited to just their players and coaches — it extends to opponents as well. Witness Paul Pierce, who played a few minutes in Boston’s blow out of Miami in which the Heat were held to an NBA record-low 17 field goals.

Kevin Garnett offered polite praise of the Miami Heat before Paul Pierce interrupted the postgame news conference and said, “Man, I am going to tell you the truth. They got D-Leaguers out there, so I think we just handled our business,” the Boston forward said, listing some of the five Miami players who spent time in the developmental league this season. “We’re supposed to do that.”

I’m sure glad he realizes it and I’m happy he didn’t play the PC game like Garnett. Pierce has been there — last year comes to mind. It’s OK for him to call them out for what they really are since he had to take all that criticism before when the C’s were the laughing stock of the NBA. Besides, what good are the punching bags of the league if you can’t make fun of them. It’s only Shaq who doesn’t have a right to complain.

Last year if you recall, I spent a busy few weeks writing up individual previews for each team. It was a nice way for me to brush up on all the off season moves but for some reason I didn’t get around to it this year. So in its place are my picks and predictions for the upcoming season, two games in. Last year the only award I picked correctly was Eric Wedge for AL Manager of the Year. But I did say the Red Sox would win the World Series, so I guess that makes up for every wrong call. Anyway, I have predicted the order of finish for each division and provided some commentary on each team. Here are the links to each division: NL West, NL Central, NL East, AL West, AL Central, AL East. After the jump, I have my playoffs and awards picks. And remember, I was right getting the Red Sox winning it all last year, so you’ll want to see who I have down as the champs this year.

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1. Yankees — The Yanks had a terrible start to the season and they still finished with 94 wins. Every pitcher in their system got hurt in the first few months and they still hung on. This team is deep and their front office is creative. Their offense is stacked and second only to Detroit’s. Even if the vets like Pettitte and Mussina are shaky, I really like their youngsters Kennedy and Hughes. I think the Yanks are in good hands and should take the division. If I could give them one thing, I’d give em … nukes to clear out the tabloids and loosen up the media pressure.

2. Red Sox — They’ve really regressed since October’s World Series winning team, and really it’s for factors beyond their control. Curt Schilling got hurt (and could be done forever), and Josh Beckett already has back problems. Losing Schilling for starters takes them out of World Series contention. Replacing him with Jon Lester puts their playoff chances in jeopardy. Mike Lowell is due to regress, Varitek and Manny are a year older, and I’m not sold on Ellsbury. They’re still good, but not better than the Yanks. If I could give them one thing, I’d give em … a picture of last year’s celebration so they can remember how great if felt. They won’t be winning it all again.

3. Blue Jays — I really like what they have going on. Gotta love Halladay at the top of the rotation, and I’m impressed with Marcum and McGowan. I expect big things from their rotation. Their offense is good and should improve dramatically; no way Vernon Wells and Lyle Overbay will be this bad again. And so will the team. They’ll be nipping at the Red Sox. If I could give them one thing, I’d give em … 90 homers between Overbay, Big Hurt, and VW.

4. Orioles — They’re a bad team and it didn’t help that they got rid of Erik Bedard, but at least they’re not awful. They still have some pros in the lineup, and Nick Markakis is a stud you should get to know. They’re rotation took a major hit and they’ll be asking too much of guys like Jeremy Guthrie and Daniel Cabrera. Simply put: they’re rebuilding. If I could give them one thing, I’d give em … a new owner.

5. Rays — Everyone’s picking them to improve and finally get out of the cellar. I’ll believe it when I see it. I see all the improvements there on paper, but they still have to go out there and win — something they haven’t done. They also only have Carl Crawford left over from that outfield that never was — Baldelli, Delmon, Dukes. And with Scott Kazmir on the shelf, I can’t pick these guys to be any higher. They’re a year away from 4th place. If I could give them one thing, I’d give em … a makeover. Oh wait …

1. Tigers — Just look at their lineup, OK? I dare you, DARE YOU, to find a better offense in the game. They’re simply stacked. Even if they get two-three injuries, they’ll be good enough to withstand it. And I really think their pitching staff has underachieved; they’re much more talented than what they’ve shown. This offense is going to win games. Lots of ‘em. If I could give them one thing, I’d give em … the Cy Young year Jeremy Bonderman is bound to achieve.

2. Indians — They’re really solid all the way around and certainly proved it last year, coming within a win from the World Series. Travis Hafner is due for a bounce-back year and should be able to carry them to the playoffs. Their staff is solid, the lineup is solid, their bullpen is pretty good — there isn’t much not to like about this team. If I could give them one thing, I’d give em … a left fielder.

3. White Sox — It was like Murphy’s Law for these guys last year — everything that could have gone wrong went wrong. Dye, Pierzynski, Thome, and Konerko can’t possibly be worse. Outside of Bobby Jenks, the bullpen would have a tough time being worse. They have holes at third and left, but they should be OK everywhere else. Check that: I cringe at the thought of Nick Swisher patrolling center field all year. They’re due for a turnaround season. If I could give them one thing, I’d give em … a lifetime contract for Ozzie. He’s too entertaining to ever be fired.

4. Twins — I don’t care if they got back Harmon Killebrew and Dan Gladden — you can’t improve by trading away the best pitcher in the game. That leaves a gaping hole in the rotation that was already weak last year. They have lots of talent on offense, but their middle infield is so weak they can kill rallies just being in the stadium. I still think Delmon Young will be a star so that offense has some good pop. If I could give them one thing, I’d give em … a hundred million dollar payroll so they could have kept their studs together.

5. Royals — They’re so cute, and they’re trying so hard, you really want them to do well. And actually, they’re not that far off from competing if guys like Teahen, Billy Butler, and Alex Gordon develop. I like that they’ve bought some players the past few years like Gil Meche and Jose Guillen, makes them more competitive. They also have the best closer you’ve never heard of — Joakim Soria. Still, they don’t have enough big guns to compete. If I could give them one thing, I’d give em … the Rookie of the Year Angel Berroa from ‘03.