Larry Brown Sports

I understand he’s all about getting value and giving second chances, but honestly why is Jerry Jones going after Lapdance Jones? The track record speaks for itself: the success of T.O. after he single-handedly blew up the Eagles — a player Jerry got for a bargain price. We’ll see what Tank Johnson does — another embattled player Jerry got on the cheap. But does this business model that Jerry has proven to be successful need to exist? At some point he should recognize the difference between giving an athlete a second chance and enabling a disgusting person who happens to be talented at football player. Giving T.O. a second chance to fit in with a different locker room is one thing. Bringing Lapdance Jones into the team when he’s a dude who started a strip club riot and hasn’t shown any remorse, went to a strip club the night of his review with the commissioner, and tried wrestling while he was suspended, is not the way to go.

Point blank, regardless of talent and demand, Lapdance Jones shouldn’t be playing in the NFL. It’s that simple. The dude should be in jail for his role in that debacle. I don’t care how talented he is, Jerry Jones should realize there’s a limit to how low he can stoop to make his team better. The sad part is the fan reception: if they put the needs of the team (another CB) ahead of their moral compass, they are vastly skewed. Luckily the Titans aren’t giving Lapdance up so easily otherwise it would make the deal seem win-win to the Cowboys. Hopefully Jerry Jones will realize that some moves aren’t worth being made, and this is one of them. I know I’m not in Dallas where they dropped the test-balloon on the fans last week to see the reaction, but I’ll say my piece and urge him not to pull the trigger. Lapdance Jones is just a bad dude and there isn’t room for a dummy like that in the game.

I’m not exactly sure whether or not this is public knowledge, but it’s news to me. Sports by Brooks points me to a 2003 article with Time Magazine in which Hideki Matsui tells of his extra-curricular activities, shall we say. Being about as honest as someone can be, here’s what he’s said:

Instructed to stay in the team dormitory and refrain from dating during the first several years of his career, so as to devote all his concentration solely to baseball, Matsui agreeably complied, without so much as a whimper. Indeed, his only eccentricity, if it can be called that, is his extensive private library of adult videos. His refreshing ability to laugh self-deprecatingly about his porno collection, reporters say, is one reason why fans and even nonfans have taken to him so much.

Maybe they’re just hoping he’ll loan them a flick or two. And according to a profile from SI, Matsui has 55,000 items in his adult entertainment collection. Dude’s a walking hustler store. And all this time I thought Matsui had no personality … what was I thinking. Man, no wonder he was so disappointed the year he broke his wrist …

My faithful Indian companion. Couldn’t resist it. For some reason or another, probably because they suck, the Miami Heat have been a great source for outstanding quotes this year. And this isn’t limited to just their players and coaches — it extends to opponents as well. Witness Paul Pierce, who played a few minutes in Boston’s blow out of Miami in which the Heat were held to an NBA record-low 17 field goals.

Kevin Garnett offered polite praise of the Miami Heat before Paul Pierce interrupted the postgame news conference and said, “Man, I am going to tell you the truth. They got D-Leaguers out there, so I think we just handled our business,” the Boston forward said, listing some of the five Miami players who spent time in the developmental league this season. “We’re supposed to do that.”

I’m sure glad he realizes it and I’m happy he didn’t play the PC game like Garnett. Pierce has been there — last year comes to mind. It’s OK for him to call them out for what they really are since he had to take all that criticism before when the C’s were the laughing stock of the NBA. Besides, what good are the punching bags of the league if you can’t make fun of them. It’s only Shaq who doesn’t have a right to complain.

Last year if you recall, I spent a busy few weeks writing up individual previews for each team. It was a nice way for me to brush up on all the off season moves but for some reason I didn’t get around to it this year. So in its place are my picks and predictions for the upcoming season, two games in. Last year the only award I picked correctly was Eric Wedge for AL Manager of the Year. But I did say the Red Sox would win the World Series, so I guess that makes up for every wrong call. Anyway, I have predicted the order of finish for each division and provided some commentary on each team. Here are the links to each division: NL West, NL Central, NL East, AL West, AL Central, AL East. After the jump, I have my playoffs and awards picks. And remember, I was right getting the Red Sox winning it all last year, so you’ll want to see who I have down as the champs this year.

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1. Yankees — The Yanks had a terrible start to the season and they still finished with 94 wins. Every pitcher in their system got hurt in the first few months and they still hung on. This team is deep and their front office is creative. Their offense is stacked and second only to Detroit’s. Even if the vets like Pettitte and Mussina are shaky, I really like their youngsters Kennedy and Hughes. I think the Yanks are in good hands and should take the division. If I could give them one thing, I’d give em … nukes to clear out the tabloids and loosen up the media pressure.

2. Red Sox — They’ve really regressed since October’s World Series winning team, and really it’s for factors beyond their control. Curt Schilling got hurt (and could be done forever), and Josh Beckett already has back problems. Losing Schilling for starters takes them out of World Series contention. Replacing him with Jon Lester puts their playoff chances in jeopardy. Mike Lowell is due to regress, Varitek and Manny are a year older, and I’m not sold on Ellsbury. They’re still good, but not better than the Yanks. If I could give them one thing, I’d give em … a picture of last year’s celebration so they can remember how great if felt. They won’t be winning it all again.

3. Blue Jays — I really like what they have going on. Gotta love Halladay at the top of the rotation, and I’m impressed with Marcum and McGowan. I expect big things from their rotation. Their offense is good and should improve dramatically; no way Vernon Wells and Lyle Overbay will be this bad again. And so will the team. They’ll be nipping at the Red Sox. If I could give them one thing, I’d give em … 90 homers between Overbay, Big Hurt, and VW.

4. Orioles — They’re a bad team and it didn’t help that they got rid of Erik Bedard, but at least they’re not awful. They still have some pros in the lineup, and Nick Markakis is a stud you should get to know. They’re rotation took a major hit and they’ll be asking too much of guys like Jeremy Guthrie and Daniel Cabrera. Simply put: they’re rebuilding. If I could give them one thing, I’d give em … a new owner.

5. Rays — Everyone’s picking them to improve and finally get out of the cellar. I’ll believe it when I see it. I see all the improvements there on paper, but they still have to go out there and win — something they haven’t done. They also only have Carl Crawford left over from that outfield that never was — Baldelli, Delmon, Dukes. And with Scott Kazmir on the shelf, I can’t pick these guys to be any higher. They’re a year away from 4th place. If I could give them one thing, I’d give em … a makeover. Oh wait …

1. Tigers — Just look at their lineup, OK? I dare you, DARE YOU, to find a better offense in the game. They’re simply stacked. Even if they get two-three injuries, they’ll be good enough to withstand it. And I really think their pitching staff has underachieved; they’re much more talented than what they’ve shown. This offense is going to win games. Lots of ‘em. If I could give them one thing, I’d give em … the Cy Young year Jeremy Bonderman is bound to achieve.

2. Indians — They’re really solid all the way around and certainly proved it last year, coming within a win from the World Series. Travis Hafner is due for a bounce-back year and should be able to carry them to the playoffs. Their staff is solid, the lineup is solid, their bullpen is pretty good — there isn’t much not to like about this team. If I could give them one thing, I’d give em … a left fielder.

3. White Sox — It was like Murphy’s Law for these guys last year — everything that could have gone wrong went wrong. Dye, Pierzynski, Thome, and Konerko can’t possibly be worse. Outside of Bobby Jenks, the bullpen would have a tough time being worse. They have holes at third and left, but they should be OK everywhere else. Check that: I cringe at the thought of Nick Swisher patrolling center field all year. They’re due for a turnaround season. If I could give them one thing, I’d give em … a lifetime contract for Ozzie. He’s too entertaining to ever be fired.

4. Twins — I don’t care if they got back Harmon Killebrew and Dan Gladden — you can’t improve by trading away the best pitcher in the game. That leaves a gaping hole in the rotation that was already weak last year. They have lots of talent on offense, but their middle infield is so weak they can kill rallies just being in the stadium. I still think Delmon Young will be a star so that offense has some good pop. If I could give them one thing, I’d give em … a hundred million dollar payroll so they could have kept their studs together.

5. Royals — They’re so cute, and they’re trying so hard, you really want them to do well. And actually, they’re not that far off from competing if guys like Teahen, Billy Butler, and Alex Gordon develop. I like that they’ve bought some players the past few years like Gil Meche and Jose Guillen, makes them more competitive. They also have the best closer you’ve never heard of — Joakim Soria. Still, they don’t have enough big guns to compete. If I could give them one thing, I’d give em … the Rookie of the Year Angel Berroa from ’03.

1. Mariners — Any offense that begins with Ichiro at the top is already off to a good start. Richie Sexson will be back to his old self, while Beltre, Ibanez, Johjima, and Vidro will be solid but not spectacular. The Erik Bedard trade puts them over the top; it really sets their rotation up nicely. With everyone bumped down a spot, they match up well starter for starter with any rotation. Their bullpen is solid and anchored by J.J. Putz. If I could give them one thing, I’d give em … Adrian Beltre of ’05 — the one they bought.

2. Angels — I low-balled them last year and I have a preoccupation with tempering my expectations. Hopefully it works again. Truthfully though, I am seriously worried, if not downright pessimistic at the outlook of this year’s team. You simply can’t lose Kelvim Escobar for the year and expect to just move on without him — he’s an All-Star (damn well should have been). You can’t have Lackey on the shelf for well over a month and be able to survive. With one down for a limited amount of time they could survive. But without either of them out for a significant amount of time, they won’t be able to hold off Seattle — Mariners have just improved too much. I love the right side of the infield and think Kendrick and Kotchman will shine this year. I know the Angels have a lot of “depth” problem is, you can only play nine guys at a time. If I could give them one thing, I’d give em … a new shoulder for Escobar.

3. A’s — The offense is so bad they’d give the Giants a run for their money. Their pitching is pretty solid even without Dan Haren. And you can always trust that Beane knows what he’s doing. He’s reason enough for me to think they’ll finish third. Their bullpen is actually pretty good, and Rich Harden and Joe Blanton could be a great 1-2 punch, especially if Harden maintains his health. If I could give them one thing, I’d give em … a time machine to fast-forward three years when they’ll actually be good.

4. Rangers — I like Kason Gabbard, but outside of him, I’m not a fan of their pitching. Pitching in that park doesn’t help, but hey, you don’t see Cole Hamels complaining, right? The bullpen’s pretty bad, and there’s too much patchwork in the outfield. They’re well past their days of being a big-hitting team. Their only bat left is Michael Young, and his power is declining. If I could give them one thing, I’d give em … a do-over on the Chris Young/Adrian Gonzalez trade.

1. Mets — Easily the most complete team in the NL, thanks in large part to the addition of Johan Santana, no coincidence. I thought the trade of Milledge yielded better returns than most critics gave them credit for. Reyes, Wright, and Beltran are good enough to carry the team even if Moises is banged up and Delgado isn’t back to old. I think Pedro has enough moxie to contribute, and I love Oliver and El Duque as 4′s and 5′s. If I could give them one thing, I’d give em … a bonafide ace a new pair of Prada shoes!

2. Braves — For some reason I see this team and I can’t get away from the fact that I really like it. 3-6 they have a difficult stretch of hitters, and I think everyone in their lineup presents a difficult out. They won’t give away many at-bats at the plate, and they won’t give you many extra outs when they’re in the field. Injuries can plague their pitching staff, but I think they have enough depth to carry them. And did I ever tell you that I love John Smoltz? If I could give them one thing, I’d give em … a full season from Chipper Jones.

3. Phillies — They sure have some monsters on offense, and that park can turn Davids into Goliaths, but I’m still a doubter. Lidge is already laid up, Eaton won’t hold up, and Moyer’s finally going to be done. Their bullpen seems too weak to get it done, so I guess they’ll be banking on outscoring everyone, which is entirely possible. I don’t see them winning the division like last year, no last-week miracles. If I could give them one thing, I’d give em … a closer.

4. Nationals — They made some shrewd moves in the off-season, yes, shrewd — even by Jim Bowden’s standards. Problem is, you can’t have “I hope he turns it around” players at every single position. You need at least a handful of solid guys you can count on, and Ryan Zimmerman’s about the only proven commodity. They have good intentions, but I still think they’re too weak. And when Odalis Perez is your ace, you’re in big trouble. If I could give them one thing, I’d give em … a win on opening day to make the fans happy.

5. Marlins — Read what I wrote two sentences ago and replace Odalis Perez with Mark Hendrickson. Enough said about this team. They were headed in the right direction two years ago, but their rotation fell apart when Anibal Sanchez got hurt, and Scott Olsen went crazy. Any rotation counting on innings from Rick Vanden Hurk is in big trouble. Their offense isn’t as solid as it used to be presumably because they lost Miggy. They won’t be too far from the Nats. If I could give them one thing, I’d give em … a notice of contraction.