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Monday, December 22, 2014

Ranking the Cincinnati Bengals Arrests

They’ve had so many of them I just figured it was about time to have a little fun with their arrests. Without further ado, here’s a list of the Bengals’ finest, from best to worst.

  1. Chris Henry (June 14th, ’06) – providing alcohol to three underaged females, but did he score?
  2. Chris Henry (Jan. 28th, ’06) – possession of a concealed firearm, improper exhibition of firearm, aggravated assault with firearm, that’s a lot of firearm action
  3. A.J. Nicholson (June 3rd, ’06) – burglary, vandalism, grant theft, *bonus points for stealing electronics from a teammate, that’s not easy
  4. Frostee Rucker (June 21st, ’06) – vandalism, spousal battery, just don’t beat up that blackberry
  5. Reggie McNeal (Dec. 3rd, ’06) – resisting arrest and drug possession, always fun to catch the cops with an elbow to the chest
  6. Eric Steinbach (Aug. 5th, ’06) – boating under the influence, admit it, you didn’t even know that counted
  7. A.J. Nicholson (May 18th, ’06) – domestic violence, he restarted the streak after they had gone four months in between arrests
  8. Chris Henry (June 3rd, ’06) – DUI, 0.092, I’d blow that from a sip of Manischweitz
  9. Odell Thurman (Sept. 25th, ’06) – drunken driving, a 0.18, but he was more sober than Chris Henry or Reggie McNeal, so it’s all good
  10. Deltha O’Neal (Dec. 9th, ’06) – DWI, come on a 0.10 shouldn’t even count
  11. Matthias Askew (July 22nd, ’06) – disorderly conduct, resisting arrest, failure to comply with police officer’s order, obstructing justice, kinda boring
  12. Chris Henry (Dec. 15 ’05) – weed possession, just kids being kids
  13. Quincy Wilson (June 17, ’07) – disorderly conduct, kind of weak, but cool that the bride and groom were arrested too


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