Larry Brown Sports

It’s been said (by absolutely no one) that a man’s worth is measured by the length of his mustache. With that in mind, Patriots receiver Wes Welker has spent the past few weeks growing a mustache.

Welker just started a Twitter account a few weeks ago and it’s been extremely entertaining. When he’s not sharing pictures of himself serving his girlfriend breakfast in bed, he’s been tweeting about staches. He announced his plans to grow a straight Foxboro cop ‘stache recently and the stubble above is the product thus far. Maybe in a couple of weeks he’ll be able to match Aaron Rodgers.

Picture Credit: Wes Welker on Twitter

After turning in an impressive 2010 campaign, most of us knew the Chiefs were somewhat of a pretender. Very few expected Kansas City to come out this season and enjoy the type of success they had a year ago. When Jamaal Charles went down with a season-ending injury, common sense would tell you the Chiefs playoff hopes went down with him. That was before they came back and ripped off three wins in a row.  Given the current winning streak, Todd Haley has decided it’s not too early for a playoff beard.  Check out this picture that Shutdown Corner passed along:

“This thing is getting gnarly,” Haley told the Kansas City Star on Sunday. “It’s really uncomfortable.”

Who really knows if it’s the bean bag toss game, the beard, or the fact that the Chiefs have played terrible opponents and rusty quarterbacks.  All that matters is they’re winning games and staying in the hunt.  However, it’s important to note that if Haley thinks his rally beard is going to rival L.B.’s Bruins Stanley Cup beard, he’s sorely mistaken.

Lance Berkman delivered a big hit for the Cardinals in Game 1 of the World Series. The right fielder doubled in two runs in the fourth, putting St. Louis up 2-0. They beat the Rangers 3-2.

After the game, the 35-year-old veteran was asked about his status as one of the team’s leaders. He gave a pretty humorous response.

“I think just because you see all this gray in my beard, that kind of makes you a de facto leader,” Berkman joked. “Whether you want to be or not, guys are going to kind of look to you because you’ve been around for a while. But I do enjoy the interaction with my teammates. I think that’s one thing that’s special to me about this particular team. It’s just a great group of guys.”

Berkman has enjoyed his finest season since 2008, though he didn’t have a major impact in the NLCS. Wednesday’s double was his first extra base hit since Game 4 of the NLDS. As long as he keeps hitting, and the Cardinals keep winning, I’m sure he’ll be happy to continue joking about his old age and gray beard. And if they continue to win, Berkman will hold bragging rights over C.J. Wilson.

Photo Credit: Jeff Curry-US PRESSWIRE

Rangers pitcher Derek Holland has been sporting a mustache for the latter part of the season. The wispy little thing began in late July, and the pitcher initially decided he would keep it until the Dallas Cowboys lost a game. He was pitching so well with it that he decided to keep it around for even longer.

Even though Holland has what Timothy Burke, who provided the above image for us, called “the grossest mustache you’ve ever seen outside of middle school,” the fans love him for it. They showed up to Saturday’s Game 2 of the ALDS in Arlington wearing fake ‘staches of their own. Peep the pics:

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Why did Carl Pavano ever shave the mustache?  The thing was epic and led him to a 17-11 season a year ago.  Was the Twins pitcher afraid he might end up looking like A.J. Pierzynski?  Was he intimidated by Barry Zito’s full mustache and its whimsical healing powers?  Perhaps he did not want to disrespect the Super Bowl MVP by placing himself on the same facial hair level.  Whatever the case, it is now official: Pavano and the Twins need the stache.  Crazy Carl brought the stache back on Wednesday night and threw his first shutout of a disappointing season. Check it out:

Pavano told the Star Tribune after the game that he wanted to go John Axford and rock the handlebar stache, but his facial hair refuses to cooperate.

“I don’t know what else to say; everyone wants to point to the ‘stache,” Pavano said. “I’m not that superstitious, but I was trying to have a little fun. And we definitely had some fun tonight winning the ballgame, so whatever you have to do.”

Twins fans and facial hair fans across America can expect to be able to enjoy the mustache for most, if not all, of the 2012 season.

Green Bay Packers quarterback Aaron Rodgers showed off a new look for his team’s preseason game Friday night. He was rocking a handle bar mustache aka the “fu manchu.” Check out the picture courtesy of Mock Session:

Different facial hair styles of athletes is always a pastime here at LBS. The most recent stache we covered was A.J. Pierzynski’s Larry Bird looking blonde thing. Rodgers’ stache blows that away. Then again, when you’re winning Super Bowl MVP, you can wear your facial hair however you please.

UPDATE: You may have arrived at this page looking for a picture of Aaron Rodgers’ mustache during November 2012. The Packers quarterback grew out his “Movember” stache to raise cancer awareness. Here’s what his beauty looked like:

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If you’re going to grow a mustache then grow a mustache.  Some people can’t grow a good stache, and that’s perfectly fine.  However, you should know if you are one of those people by the time you’re 34 years old.  A.J. Pierzynski has improved his play lately and the White Sox desperately needed him to, but his mustache is more suited for the set of Anchorman or a 1970s porno than the baseball diamond.  Check out the A.J. Pierzynski mustache picture, courtesy of Big League Stew:

You want to see a mustache?  This right here is a mustache.  In fact, even this is a great mustache.  And this could be the best mustache modern-era sports have ever seen.  If A.J.’s mustache is responsible for his high-quality play as of late, more power to him — as long as he knows how ridiculous he looks.