There Was Nothing Wrong with the Name

Until that no-talent carpet bagger decided to start taking coaching jobs all over the place, sullying the name that is Larry Brown. I know many of you have been eagerly awaiting a response to my namesake taking a job with the Bobcats, so I’ll have at it. First of all, I would like to say that I was planning on this ass clown being done with his coaching career by the time I actually started doing productive things with my life like masturbating caged animals for a living writing a sports site and giving scores on the radio. I tried the whole middle initial thing for a while there in college, but Larry W. Brown never seemed right. Neither did Laurence Brown, nor L. Whitney Brown as it were. I’ve always just been Larry Brown. So now I’m just waiting for this dude to kick the coaching bucket. So anyway …

This is probably a good move for Mr. Brown. He goes to a team with no expectations, no culture of winning, and no history of success. He can easily step in and be the savior, making the franchise respectable and blow their mind by taking Charlotte to the playoffs. There was no way Larry was going to end his career on the Knicks note. But now he can be the charmed prince just by leading this team to the 8th seed in the Eastern Conference — a feat well within his means. It’s a talented roster with some good pieces in place. Hopefully he leads the turnaround and sends Charlotte to the playoffs next season, and then retires following his second year there, after they’ve won their first playoff series in franchise history. That’s the sort of the timeline I have in my head, and I’m guessing both LB and MJ are thinking the same thing. Then he can ride off into the sunset and never be heard from again, and I can go on living my life without this Waldo mucking everything up.