This series is brought to you by AXE Dirty Dilemmas. Click through and play to get your dirty mind blown.
By now you must have seen some of the AXE commercials running on TV. They also have an excellent website where they present several Dirty Dilemmas guys can face and believe me, they’re hilarious. I literally spent 15 minutes just pondering the difficult decisions. Now, we present a Dirty Dilemma of our own keeping in mind the AXE motto — “The cleaner you are, the dirtier you get.”
If presented with the dirty dilemma of having to shine Charles Barkley’s bald head or try on Marv Albert’s toupee, which would you choose? It’s a really tough call because both are pretty gross. So which one? Let’s go to the tale of the tape.
Barkley is probably the most well-known analyst in the NBA. He speaks his mind and says some of the most outrageous things you could imagine. When he’s not saying stupid things, he’s making stupid gestures. He’s a tequila pounding champion and has been busted for a DUI, so you could just imagine that his bald head might be a bit sweaty if you tried to shine it. While it would be nice to touch the man, I think he would get a little sensitive if you tried to scrub up on his dome. The cranky man might swat you like Dikembe Mutombo, so I think I’d have to pass.
On the other end of the AXE Dirty Dilemma we have trying on Marv Albert’s toupee. I don’t know if Marv has ever admitted he wears a toupe, but there’s hardly any denying he’s got a rug. Seriously, PETA is after the guy for all the dead animals he wears on his skull. What’s scary is he’s had the thick, fake combover look since 1968. Nowadays he’s sporting more of a light brown stylish look, but the wig is unmistakable. Marv remains the best play-by-play voice in the NBA using his trademark “YES” after made shots. Marv means big-time basketball. Frankly, hearing a playoff game without his voice just doesn’t sound right. Even though the toupee is a bit gross, I do have to wonder what it would be like tossing on his rug. Couldn’t be any worse than throwing on someone’s coat if you’re cold, right?
After sizing up the situation, I put this question to you: what would you choose in this AXE Dirty Dilemma, shining Charles Barkley’s bald head, or trying on Marv Albert’s toupee? There’s no right or wrong answer in this case, and only you can make the call.
