Kim Kardashian announced to the world Wednesday that she and long-time boyfriend athlete of the month Kris Humphries were getting engaged. They kept the details of how he popped the question private in order to preserve the romance of their relationship.
They made sure everyone knew exactly how the whole thing went down, telling People Magazine Humphries spelled out “Will you marry me?” with rose petals in her bedroom. She said yes (but not until getting a jeweler to confirm the diamond was over 20 karats), and they celebrated with two mini-horses decorated with glitter. Got that? Unicorns and glitter. Unicorns and freaking glitter. This is your life, Kris Humphries.
Anyway, the worst part of the story — aside from the mini-horses and glitter — is that Kim K. supposedly told ex-boyfriend Reggie Bush about the news before they made the announcement. Obviously we’re supposed to believe this was done out of consideration, but there’s no way that conversation went anything other than “You F***ed up. You see what you could have had if you popped the question? Now it’s too late.”
Think about this for a second — it was only a year ago that Kim Kardashian and Reggie Bush had split up, and it was only September that she split up with Miles Austin. Apparently all you needed to marry her was a gigantic engagement ring and a playing contract with a professional sports team. I’m sure that’s no problem for Kris Humphries. After all, how can one not be exciting about being part of this the rest of his life?
