Lindsay Lohan Drunk Driving Night Out at the Stadium

At first I was thinking the first thousand fans to trade in a baggy of coke get free entrance, but that wouldn’t make so much sense, now would it? Here’s how Lindsay Lohan Drunk Driving Awareness Night is going down at Grayson Stadium, home of the Savannah Sand Gnats:

It will be a Thirsty Thursday with half-priced beer and Coke and $1 Papa John’s Pizza slices presented by Connect Savannah, Rock 106.1 and Papa John’s Pizza. However, the Sand Gnats encourage all fans in attendance to learn from the redheaded actress’ mistakes and plan for safe transportation home from the game.

Hook Towing will have a wrecked car from a drunk driving accident on display on the plaza in front of the main gate. Savannah Highway Enforcement of Aggressive Traffic (HEAT) will also be at the game with its blood alcohol testing van.

At least minor league baseball does serve a useful role in this country after all. And where would be without Lindsay Lohan herself. Hopefully she doesn’t come out of rehab fixed; we would lose inspiration for promotions.

Chest Bump to Mullet at FanHouse