Fred Smoot reportedly peed his pants while being arrested for DUI

Fred-Smoot-RedskinsFred Smoot was an above-average cornerback during his NFL career with the Washington Redskins and the Minnesota Vikings, but his life off of the football field is much more entertaining than watching him play was. The same Smoot that once did some nasty things on a boat back in 2005 was arrested for driving while under the influence on Dec. 30.

Big deal, right? Happens all the time. While that may be true, it’s not everyday that we get to talk about a former NFL player who pissed his pants while he was handcuffed. We’ll let The Washingtonian take it from here:

Smoot told the Capitol Police officer that he’d had one drink, according to the affidavit, and agreed to a field sobriety test. During a series of tests, Smoot demonstrated ‘many clues of impairment,’ including swaying noticeably, Carll said in the affidavit.

Smoot was subsequently arrested and taken to the Capitol Police headquarters at 119 D Street, Northeast, for processing, where he twice refused to take a breathalyzer test.

‘During processing, in the service area, while handcuffed, the [defendant] peed his pants creating a puddle on the floor,’ Carll said in the affidavit. ‘[A police officer] witnessed the urine running down his pant leg and onto the floor. [Smoot] did not express that he had to use the restroom.’”

Smoot pleaded not guilty to his DUI charge on Jan. 17 and a status hearing is scheduled for Feb. 19. He wasn’t drunk — he just really, really, really had to go to the bathroom. I know a certain Vikings fan who might be able to relate.

H/T Deadspin

Five people arrested for stealing hockey gear, accidentally selling it back to police

Five people were reportedly arrested in Fresno, Cali. on Monday in a very unique sting operation that involved recovering thousands of dollars worth of hockey gear that was stolen from two Fresno Monsters players.

According to KSEE 24 News, the roughly $6,000 in equipment was stolen from goalie Justin Herbert and defenseman Dalton Holt back on Oct. 19. Sgt. Tim Tietjen of the Fresno police auto theft team said someone recently contacted one of the players on Facebook and offered to sell the stolen gear back to them for $650. The players informed authorities, and the police set up a phone call with the thieves to arrange to get the equipment back.

[Read more...]

Indiana Fever fan arrested for public intoxication while celebrating team’s WNBA championship

Here is a story full of all kinds of awesome.

The Indianapolis Star reports that an Indiana Fever fan was arrested on Monday night for public intoxication after admitting to police she was drinking to celebrate the team’s WNBA championship.

According to the story, a 43-year-old woman stumbled into a police investigation into another matter and had to use a policeman to stand up. She allegedly resisted the police’s effort to handcuff her, and actually admitted she was drunk.

“Baby, I’m celebrating the Fever winning the championship,” the fan told police, according to the report. “I’m loaded. I ain’t gonna lie.”

Let’s try to break down all the amazing aspects of this story.

1) This is confirmation the WNBA has fans.
2) People actually get excited about their team winning WNBA championships.
3) The fan was so excited, she was still partying A DAY AFTER the team won the title.
4) She didn’t even try denying to police that she was drunk.

I’m still stunned.

Big thanks to Hot Clicks for sharing the story
Photo: Indiana Fever/Twitter

Missouri video coordinator paid $7,605 strip club bill with school credit card

The University of Missouri is cracking down on school-issued credit cards after an audit revealed absurd spending by school employees.

According to the Associated Press, athletic department Director of Video Operations Michael Schumacher charged $7,605.50 to his school-issued card during a May 5, 2011, visit to Olympic Garden strip club in Las Vegas. The AP says one of the two charges at the strip club included a $2,000 tip on a $4,400 bill.

Schumacher apparently was traveling alone and representing the school at a professional conference when he visited the strip club. Thankfully he paid back the charges.

The audit also flagged a $3,000 dinner several members of the basketball staff had at a Texas steakhouse. The school has deactivated 32 of the 120 credit cards that had been issued to school employees before the audit.

I just have to ask a few questions here. Which is dumber, spending $7,605 at a strip club, or paying for it with a school credit card? I suppose if you’re stupid (and hammered) enough to spend $7,605 at a strip club, you’re probably also dumb enough to think that paying for it with a school-issued credit card is a good idea.

What did he do, get a lap dance from all 300 girls in the club? Spend hours in the champagne room getting the Stu Price treatment? How can Missouri still employ this person? Oh I know, because they also employ Gary Pinkel.

H/T Bryan D Fischer

Florida youth football coach Dion Robinson hits referee after game is called (Video)

During a recent youth football game in South Florida, an unsportsmanlike conduct penalty ultimately resulted in the contest being called. Dion Robinson, a 43-year-old coach for the West Park Saints, became irate after the call went against his team and came onto the field with some of the other members of the coaching staff. The officials working the game decided to call it off because of the coaches’ behavior and get the children off the field.

As the referees were leaving the facility, Robinson ran over to the official who made the call, Andrew Keigans, and belted him across the face.

“I was shocked!” Keigans told NBC Miami on Tuesday. “I was like holy sh**. .. My buddy said ‘Drew just keep walking, don’t say nothing, just keep walking, don’t say nothing’ and that’s when he comes around and just, I actually turned right into it, if you see the video, I turn right into it and he got me in my ear.”

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Baby photographed doing keg stand at Arizona State tailgate (Picture)

A picture of a baby doing a keg stand at an Arizona State tailgate is beginning to go viral, and police are investigating the matter.

The picture first appeared at TheDirty.com on Monday, and the website’s owner says an appalled student sent it in. The picture is said to have been taken before last Saturday’s Arizona State-Utah game.

“ASU police are looking into the posted photo. It’s not clear if this is a joke or an actual event that occurred. Police are contacting the website…” AZfamily.com reports.

Regardless of whether or not this was a joke, it’s pretty damn stupid. I’m not sure why any parents figured taking a baby in diapers and sticking a hose from a keg into its mouth is funny, but apparently they did. That’s pretty disturbing, but as we know, there are plenty of disturbed people in the world. The ones who orchestrated this photo are part of that group.

H/T Lost Lettermen

Harvey Updyke looking hopeless in latest mug shot (Picture)

On Monday we shared the story of alleged tree poisoner Harvey Updyke getting arrested on terrorizing charges after threatening the staff at a Lowe’s home improvement store when he was unable to get a full refund on his lawn mower. Now we get to share with you the best part: Updyke’s new mug shot.

There he is, our devout Alabama fan, looking all hopeless and depressed. Hair looking disheveled, mustache all long and unkempt, a general “this is what my life has come to” look across his face. That, my friends, is the look of a man who know he’s about to spend the next several years of his life in prison.

Updyke later took a plea deal for poisoning Toomer’s Oaks on the Auburn campus. He will spend six months in jail.
Photo via WSFA