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Darwin Nominees

Bobby Jenks arrested after DUI hit-and-run: ‘I took too many muscle relaxers’

Bobby Jenks was arrested early Friday morning and charged with a DUI among four other accounts — one of which includes leaving the scene of an accident. As expected, the details from the arrest report are fantastic. The 31-year-old Jenks was …

Chelsea’s Jacob Mellis dismissed from team after admitting he set off a smoke grenade at training facility

When you think about athletes pulling pranks, harmless stuff usually comes to mind. Whether it be changing someone’s at-bat music or lighting their shoe on fire, guys usually settle for a cheap laugh or two. Not Chelsea midfielder Jacob Mellis, …

Angry dad Timothy Lee Forbes allegedly bites off part of youth coach’s ear

Some youth sports parents have a tendency to take the game a bit too seriously, but you didn’t need us to tell you that. On Friday night in Springfield, Mass., yet another angry parent lost his temper and attacked a coach. The alleged attacker, …

Fail: Idiot fan got jersey with Mario Lemieux’s name misspelled (Picture)

Mario Lemieux’s career accomplishments now officially consist of: 1033 assists, 690 goals, 10 All-Star Game appearances, 3 Hart Trophy honors, two Stanley Cups, and one horribly misspelled jersey. How can you possibly call yourself a fan and …

Marathon winner Scott Downard disqualified because he didn’t register

Friendly reminder: If you plan on spending three hours of your life running a marathon, make sure you register for the race first. That’s something one runner forgot to do Sunday and it cost him. Scott Downard won the Cowtown Marathon by more …

Dude Driving Zamboni Popped for DUI

If I had a bucket list, driving a Zamboni while plastered would easily make the top five. I mean who hasn’t dreamed of driving around one of those tanks while wasted? In many ways, it’s just like returning to kindergarten just so you can …

Pizza Delivery Leads to Drug Bust of Ole Miss Leading Scorer Dundrecous Nelson

Dundrecous Nelson, Ole Miss’ leading scorer, was kicked off the school’s basketball team Thursday. When a team loses its top player, that’s always a story. But the real story here is how a pizza delivery helped lead to the drug …

Video: Store Clerk Knocks Out Robber with Solid Left Hook

In case you haven’t figured it out by now, robbers getting KTFO have become one of my favorite stories here at LBS. Last month, there was a guy whose attempted motel robbery was thwarted by a couple of MMA experts. Then a few weeks ago, there …

Air Jordan Shoes Cause Shopping Riots, Frenzies at Malls (Video)

What is wrong with you people? Fighting, trampling, rioting, all over a pair of sneakers? You do realize that they’re just shoes, right? They’re just something that covers your feet. They’re not worth injuries or brawls. Come on …

Packers Fan Was so Upset with Team’s Loss She Choked Her Daughter

And you thought Aaron Rodgers was taking the Packers’ loss hard? He’s got nothing on this woman. The Appleton Post-Crescent reported Tuesday that a 36-year-old woman was so upset the Packers lost Sunday she actually choked her daughter. …

Sam Hurd Was the Tony Montana of Chicago (Allegedly)

We’ve reported about several athletes who have been busted with drugs here at LBS. Just two weeks ago we shared the story of two Redskins players who were busted for failing multiple marijuana tests. In April, there was a Duke football player …

Mugger Tries to Rob UFC Fighter, Ends Up in Hospital

If you’re going to pick somebody to rob, make sure it’s not an MMA expert. Otherwise you’re liable to have your face pounded like this purple-faced clown. The dude pictured is 24-year-old Anthony Miranda. He’s already done …

ESPN’s Matthew Barnaby Arrested for DUI While Driving SUV With a Missing Tire

Man, I hate when nights get out of hand. One minute you’re at the bar watching some football with your buddies — probably tracking the last week of your fantasy football regular season before the playoffs — and the next thing you …

Fan Complains that Home Team Had Unfair Advantage Because of Crowd Noise

Old Dominion beat Norfolk State 35-18 Saturday in the first round of the FCS playoffs. One Norfolk State fan is upset with the loss and actually complained that ODU had an unfair advantage because of their crowd noise. Here is the letter to the …

Man Breaks into White Sox GM Ken Williams’ House, Drinks Beer and Relaxes

When someone breaks into a wealthy person’s home, they usually have a motive.  Most of the burglars have the same exact motive — to take money or take things that are extremely valuable.  The man who broke into White Sox General Manager …

Lenny Dykstra Proudly Adds Anti-Semite to His Growing List of Offenses

Lenny Dykstra, we really didn’t expect any less from you. The disgraced former ballplayer went off in a Twitter tirade Friday directed at Dan Herman, his manager. Dykstra is on house arrest since being arrested for allegedly embezzling money …

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