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Worse QB Situation: Raiders or Lions?

The Raiders sure have found plenty of ways to provide us with laughs this season, centered largely around the dysfunction of the organization. At least the team was competitive under Lane Kiffin — now they’ve become an embarrassment without him. Their dysfunction has been so distracting that it’s even made many of us forget the fact that the Lions are still winless, and that the Bengals and Chiefs have fewer wins. The Bengals are in dire straights because Carson Palmer is hurt. The Chiefs are pretty horrible, but Tyler Thigpen did put together a productive game last weekend. And that’s what leaves us with the Raiders and the Lions.

Detroit entered the season with interception and yardage machine Jon Kitna as their quarterback. He has a back injury and is done for the year. Backup Dan Orlovsky, despite lacking a sense of space on the field, at least kept the team competitive the past few weeks. Unfortunately for Detroit, he’s now out with a thumb injury. They were forced to sign Daunte Culpepper earlier in the week who hasn’t played all season, and their other option is Drew Stanton — a second year player who their coach said would “embarrass” himself if he played. The Raiders are down to backups after starter JaMarcus Russell is now being deemed as doubtful because of knee tendinitis. That might not be a bad thing considering Russell threw for a paltry 31 yards last weekend. Or maybe it might be considering the backup options are Andrew Walter and Marques Tuiasosopo. So, which team has the worse QB situation, Raiders or Lions?

Video: Dan Orlovsky Takes Safety, Clearly Has a Strong Sense of the Field

For the same reason I praised Matt Ryan for being such a good quarterback despite being a rookie, I point out the following video of Dan Orlovsky. This is exactly how lost a typical young quarterback looks in an NFL game:

I remember laughing out loud when I was watching this play unfold during the game. How could someone lose a sense of where they are on the field that badly? I mean if Dan Orlovsky doesn’t show you what field presence is then I don’t know what does. As bad as Jon Kitna may be, it’s pretty obvious that Dan Orlovsky isn’t the answer. Video via Ballhype.

Bill Ford Jr. Would Fire Matt Millen

Matt Millen William Clay FordIf you want to talk about people having dirty pictures of their bosses, the argument begins and ends with Detroit Lions President and CEO Matt Millen. The amount of mistakes and awful moves he’s made in building the Detroit Lions makes Isiah Thomas look like Theo Epstein. Since he’s taken over the team, the Lions have lost more games than any team in the NFL by a wide margin. They’ve been brutal. They’ve been embarrassing. And this year’s team is showing no signs of improvement. That’s why Vice Chairman Bill Ford Jr. called out Millen, despite William Clay’s constant support of him.

A reporter asked Ford what he thought of the Lions’ performance Sunday, a 31-13 loss at San Francisco. “It was an embarrassment,” he said. “The fans deserve better. And if I had the authority, I would have fired the general manager.”

About 15 minutes later, in front of a larger crowd of reporters, Ford was peppered with more Lions-related questions.

“It’s been disappointing,” he said then. “I think the fans deserve better. And if it were in my authority, which it’s not, I’d make some significant changes.”

Those changes include getting rid of Matt Millen. Honestly, after all the futility, the losing, the awfulness, it’s about time someone spoke up. Seriously, when was the last time a successful NFL team was built by using four first round picks on wide receivers in like the span of five years? I didn’t even think it was possible to build as bad of a team as he puts out there each year. May Lions fans finally get their wish … sooner, rather than later.

Jon Kitna Gets Creative on Halloween

Remember Joe Cullen? He’s the former Lions defensive line coach who got busted for going through a fast food drive through naked. (I empathize with his plight; I enter the kitchen naked when food is on my mind). Anyway, Jon Kitna must have been smoking the same stuff that caused him to pick Detroit to win at least 10 games this year. Check out how he and his wife dressed up for teammate Mike Furrey’s charity Halloween event:

SPORTSbyBROOKS has another must-see version of the pic that shows a little more skin (yeah, you know you can’t get enough of Kitna). Drew Sharp in the Detroit Free Press takes issue with Kitna’s costume choice. I have no problem with it; it’s a creative, hilarious mock-job of an absolutely boneheaded move by a person with a job of great prestige. I give Kitna a 10 for originality and creativity.

William Clay Ford Confirms His Love for Matt Millen, Lions Still Screwed

Matt Millen William Clay FordYes, finally, we get to the bottom of the William Clay Ford/Matt Millen dynamic. For years it was speculated that Millen had pictures of Ford boozing it up with hookers on his lap and coke up his nose, but now we hear the truth. How can Ford put up with a GM whose team has gone 24-72 under his tenure? Well, apparently he likes the guy:

Asked if his judgment was clouded because he liked Millen personally, Ford said: “It’s possible. But I think if you like somebody and you believe in the same things that they believe in, I don’t know what other yardstick to put against it.”

Well William, if you’re looking for a yardstick, why don’t you try a win/loss record? That seems to be a great way of measuring success. You know, that and playoff appearances, division crowns, and Super Bowl rings. Not surprisingly, Ford has not put any additional pressure on the Lions and Millen to win this year, although he feels they’re on the cusp of something good. Great, that makes one quarterback, and now an owner.

More Reasons to Laugh at the Lions:
Jon Kitna Is Smoking the Good Stuff

Jon Kitna Is Smoking the Good Stuff

See, I just can’t help myself when I read comments like this. Not to discourage the Detroit Lions or anything, but I just don’t have a lot of confidence in them. And this isn’t the first time a Lion got carried away — Roy Williams did it last year — and that’s fine. They should have confidence, they should believe in themselves. But they also need to be realistic. And Jon Kitna is not. He predicted in March that the Lions would win 10 games. Now, he thinks the future is even brighter:

“See, that was 10 games before I saw the schedule, too,” the quarterback told WDFN-AM (1130) this week. “I’ll keep to myself what I think we actually will win. But it’s more than 10 games.”

“I don’t like putting a lot of pressure on people, but Calvin Johnson, to me, will have about the same impact that Reggie Bush had in New Orleans,” Kitna said. “He’s everything that they said he was and more. … I mean he’s 235 (pounds), runs a 4.3 (40-yard dash), he’s got tennis rackets for hands. …”

Tennis rackets for hands? Since when is that a compliment for a receiver? It’s nice to have that type of confidence entering a season, but I’ll skate on the conservative side with my prediction. Smart money says the Lions will win six games this year. But hey, Kitna, more than 10 games? More power to ya, my man.

Rod Marinelli Wrestled a Bear

This is one of the cooler stories I’ve read in quite some time. Not even sure how embellished it is. Not even sure it’s true. But Nicholas J. Cotsonika tells of a tale in the Detroit Free Press of Lions head coach Rod Marinelli wrestling a bear back when he was in high school. As the story goes, Marinelli and his buddies were cruising by a car dealership that had a gimmick sign out front saying you could wrestle a bear for $10. Marinelli’s buddies got together the cash, and they set Rod on his way to wrestle Victor the Bear. Taking it from Marinelli’s buddies Gary Schram and Don Gomez…

It was cold, the mat was all wet, and this bear was smelly, let me tell you,” Schram said. “So we put the money up there, and in goes Rod. Rod did then what he does now: He went in to win.”

“There was no hesitation on the guy’s part,” Gomez said. “He flew into that thing.”

“And let me tell you,” Schram said, “he had that bear on his back in about 10 seconds.”

The Russian guy started poking Marinelli with the stick. It startled Marinelli. The bear recovered and pinned him. Marinelli reversed on him, and they went back and forth.

The Russian guy declared Victor the victor. Schram and Gomez said they cheated. Marinelli tried to be a good sport.

“Rod goes over to shake the bear’s hand,” Gomez said, laughing. “The bear doesn’t know he’s coming to shake hands. The bear attacked him again.”

What would be more impressive is if Marinelli could find a way to beat the Bears. But I definitely see why the Lions hired him. Talk about commanding respect in the locker room. Sheesh.