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#pounditSaturday, April 13, 2024

Jason Giambi’s Mustache Now Certified

Earlier in the season it was Eric Byrnes who grew out a mustache while riding a hot hitting streak. Sporting the porn stache, Byrnes declared it The Year of the Mustache. Well, it wasn’t long after that Jason Giambi traded in his gold thong for a mustache when in need of a good luck charm. The stache has certainly delivered, to the point where Giambi is one of the finalists in the fan vote for the last All-Star spot on the AL squad. The American Mustache Institute wants to let you know they stand firmly behind him in his pursuit of All-Stardom:

“It doesn’t take a mathematician to figure out that Jason Giambi’s hitting prowess, plus a fashionable mustache, equals a bona fide All-Star,” Aaron Perlut, executive director of The American Mustache Institute, says in the release.

“Giambi’s significant first-half production as well as his powerful lip fur — indicating great intellect and good looks — make two very compelling reasons for his place on the American League All-Star roster.”

The fine gentlemen of MLB FanHouse who alerted me to this story also had the pleasure of receiving a comment from Mr. Perlut who said, “Maybe I should have simply called it by the Latin “labia sebucula” or “lip sweater” to the uninitiated.” Gotta love it. Indeed, 2008 is the Year of the Mustache in MLB. Oh yeah, and this fine message wouldn’t be complete without a … vote Longoria! He deserves it the most out of all the AL finalists, so screw Giambi.

P.S. Guess that ‘stache couldn’t protect you from a hamstring injury, eh Byrnsie?


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