The fraternity of bearded baseball aces is the world’s most exclusive club. And Astros southpaw Dallas Keuchel wants to extend an invitation to A’s righty Sonny Gray. Houston’s finest facial hair connoisseur gifted his clean-shaven fellow AL West flamethrower with a beard grooming kit, a bestowal that Gray proudly shared on his Twitter account Saturday.
Thanks @kidkeuchy for the beard grooming kit! But I think I need a "neard" (aka neck beard) grooming kit. pic.twitter.com/KE5qPYX4rv
— Sonny Gray (@SonnyGray2) August 22, 2015
The comparatively baby-faced Gray has performed just fine without a five o’clock shadow this season, sporting 12-5 record with a 2.04 ERA and 0.98 WHIP (both AL-leading totals). The same cannot be said for the Oakland A’s, however, as they are in the AL West cellar with a record of 53-70.
Meanwhile, Keuchel is right on Gray’s tail on an individual level with 14-6 record, a 2.37 ERA, and a 1.02 WHIP. The difference though is that he has helped lead the Astros to a breakout season as they currently lead the division with a 67-56 record and are in line for their first playoff appearance since 2005.
Maybe Kid Keuchy is onto something here. Is growing stubble the key? Could channeling baseball’s embodiment of Samson be the formula for ascending to the AL West mountaintop? Could that beard-trimming kit actually be an offering of “Dallas’ Secret Stuff” a la Space Jam? Is Sonny Gray going to be changing his name to Sonny Graybeard shortly?
Hey Dallas. Wanna maybe think about sending one of those to my bearded boy Matt Shoemaker out West as well? Asking for a friend.
